宁家珍
秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-20
帖子: 470
来自: 中国黄山
宁家珍北美枫文集 |
 发表于: 2009-06-10 00:14:54 发表主题: [汉诗英译]赠汪伦 |
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To Wang Lun
Li Bai
When Li Bai is going to travel by boat ,
Singing sound suddenly heard on the ashore.
The peach blossom pool water is thousand feet,
It's inferior to Wang Lun 's emotion to me!
宁家珍译 by Ning Jiazhen
赠汪伦
李白
李白乘舟将欲行，
忽闻岸上踏歌声。
桃花潭水深千尺，
不及汪伦送我情！ |
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-06-15 20:16:21 发表主题: |
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| 宁家珍 写到: |
Giving a poem to Wang Lun
Li Bai
When Li Bai is going to travle by boat ,
Singing sound suddenly Heard on the ashore.
The peach blossom pool water deeps thousand feet,
I’s inferior to Wang Lun 's emotion to me!
宁家珍译 by Ning Jiazhen
赠汪伦
李白
李白乘舟将欲行，
忽闻岸上踏歌声。
桃花潭水深千尺，
不及汪伦送我情！ |
Title: would it be better to simply put as "To Wang Lun"?
L1, travle, typo. Should be "travel".
L2, "Heard", why in cap?
L3, "deeps", deep is an adjective, can't be used as a verb.
L4, I’s , is it "It's"?
These are just some obvious small errors.
Regards
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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宁家珍
秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-20
帖子: 470
来自: 中国黄山
宁家珍北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-06-16 05:01:29 发表主题: Thank you |
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Dear sir:
Thank you very much . I'm so careless and I'm very shy .Thank you again.Ning Jiazhen |
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-06-16 06:31:26 发表主题: |
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No need to be shy. And you don't need to take everything others suggested.
Maybe I'm a bit straightforward. I'll restrain myself if my response sounds obnoxious instead of helpful. 
Call me Lake please.
Thanks.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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宁家珍
秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-20
帖子: 470
来自: 中国黄山
宁家珍北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-06-16 08:45:23 发表主题: Thanks |
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Dear sir：
It’s very very right what you said . I think that you are a good man . Thanks for you helping me in my study .Good day.
Ning Jiazhen |
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