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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

透视社会现象一组:

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-06-05 19:38:12 Post subject: 透视社会现象一组:

透视社会现象一组: <<空巢老人>> 文/曼陀林雁南飞老人从此习惯眺望天空鸟声与目光重叠有时呈"人"字有时"之"字更有时是"大"字阴晴圆缺时老人从墙上取下"全家福" 粗砺的手一遍遍擦拭镜框里的眉眼很亮长势喜人如同老人田间侍弄的五谷老人与屋前的榕树相依为命农闲时老人挨着树根小坐不出声彼此对望一下 "叭嗒""叭嗒"吸旱烟风起时老人畏寒身子骨籁籁作响老人绝不提及他与老榕树哪个更光秃二00九年六月四日于广东中山 <<留守少妇>> 文/曼陀林夜静夜寂夜音犹在气息犹在并排靠着的双枕犹在大红的鸳鸯被犹在吻过的朱砂痣犹在是谁偷走了昨夜的月亮你在桃林里夜夜病着谁拿走了你的桃红你立在枝头上比宋词更消瘦衣带渐宽为何装不进一个白夜夜静夜寂夜永夜二00九年六月五日于广东中山 <<判逆少年>> 文/曼陀林少年叼着烟戴着耳麦指挥千军万马历代撕杀手里的霸王刀折断无数长戟少年愉快地吹起长哨此刻少年是王者少年厌烦通往学校的路踢着路上的碎石權木丛的刺少年也本能地不适老师的眼镜是万恶的源头少年在书本上画了许多叉叉趁着不备就朝老师的后背投去上课玩前排女生的辫子是少年唯一的乐事柔软的发丝缠绕着少年的发育期少年莫名打过几次女生的男同桌爷爷奶奶的嘘寒问暖少年一进家门就关在了门外父母南下或者北上与他何干呢少年要赤手空拳浪迹江湖二00九年六月六日于广东中山 http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke _________________ 那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-06-06 01:05:05 Post subject:

问好~诗歌陈述的细致是可以的~~但要有峰点~~ 问好~~ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-06-07 00:04:32 Post subject:

细腻的观察，生活的缩影

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-06-11 21:38:38 Post subject:

安红红 wrote:

问好~诗歌陈述的细致是可以的~~但要有峰点~~

问好~~

谢谢指点.问好安红红.
_________________
那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。
我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-06-11 21:40:22 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

细腻的观察，生活的缩影

多谢,远握,白水.
_________________
那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。
我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2009-06-11 23:49:31 Post subject:

具有社会现实的一组，喜欢~问好烟！

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-06-13 05:20:05 Post subject: 谢谢明月.握.问好.

谢谢明月.握.问好. _________________ 那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2009-08-03 23:41:04 Post subject:

再来读~

沙漠
秀才

Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection

Posted: 2009-08-04 13:49:50 Post subject:

很客观的叙述！提炼还得着力。问好！ _________________ 个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180

朱雀公
童生

Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

朱雀公Collection

Posted: 2009-08-04 16:27:43 Post subject:

沉稳的叙述不急不躁，像一个真正的旁观者平静如水感喟都在心里。欣赏问好！

朱雀公
童生

Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

朱雀公Collection

Posted: 2009-08-04 16:28:16 Post subject:

沉稳的叙述不急不躁，像一个真正的旁观者平静如水感喟都在心里。欣赏问好！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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