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【五绝】 懒散
犀利
秀才


Joined: 21 May 2009
Posts: 103

犀利Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-02 21:48:34    Post subject: 【五绝】 懒散 Reply with quote

【五绝】 懒散

日暖催人起,
愔愔上小楼.
浮生闲半日,
懒散可能不?
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-02 21:52:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

难得浮生半日闲!
_________________
++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-03 06:23:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

清新.畅意!
有一点想与你磋商: "不"字,如古韵属第十八部仄声,如新韵属十四姑去声,但"楼"字,如古韵属第十二部平声,如新韵属七尤阳平; "荫"字,如古韵属第十三部仄声,如新韵属九文去声. 故押韵.平仄是否可以再斟酌一下. 仅供交流.
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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犀利
秀才


Joined: 21 May 2009
Posts: 103

犀利Collection
PostPosted: 2009-06-06 11:14:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人好! 先生很有研究。

改一改,是否好些?




第12部 平声 十一尤

尤邮优尤流旒留骝榴刘由油游猷悠攸牛修羞秋周州洲舟酬雠柔俦畴筹稠丘邱抽瘳遒收鸠搜驺愁休囚求裘仇浮谋牟眸侔矛侯喉猴讴鸥楼陬偷头投钩沟幽纠啾楸蚯踌绸惆勾娄琉疣犹邹兜呦咻貅球蜉蝣辀帱阄瘤硫浏庥湫泅酋瓯啁飕鍪篌抠篝诌骰偻沤(水泡,名词)蝼髅搂欧彪掊虬揉蹂抔不(与有韵“否”通)瓿缪(绸缪)


◎ 愔 yīn

〈形〉

(1) (形声。从心,音声。双音词“愔愔”。本义:安静和悦的样子) 同本义 [quiet and amiable]

愔愔琴德,不可测兮。——嵇康《琴赋》

(2) 又如:愔愔(幽深的样子;悄寂的样子);愔翳(深静的样子)
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