Maple Review :: View topic - <<那么多的所有>>

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

<<那么多的所有>>

湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection

Posted: 2009-05-31 02:26:40 Post subject: <<那么多的所有>>

<<那么多的所有>> 泡沫在月末集合一朵白浪倾起所有紫花挽着旷野黎明扬起微弱的手开在月亮之上的明眸呼啸而来海潮的怒吼秋风中枯叶无辜地随波逐流大时代的蚂蚁一夜之间翻过高楼我挖开旧相片的骨头原来岁月就这样曾经拥有斩断一根麦子的歌喉刀锋纠集了温暖的秋后流血那么多的所有我不再是温情默默地注视群山轰然倒塌夜晚已经是弱势群体灯在蚊虫的的背面游弋皮肤的隆起不再是红色的液体灯红酒绿再一次滑倒了白茫茫的鞋底

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-05-31 02:38:06 Post subject:

尽量写得明确明朗些~~不要隐匿过多的意象~ 问好 _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-05-31 03:25:13 Post subject:

读到了你内心的呐喊。对社会上的各种怪异现象，人们难免要发声。西方社会常鼓励人们 speak out, 想想这话也有道理。比如类似诗句：“灯红酒绿/再一次滑倒了/白茫茫的鞋底” ，说出来，理性的审视，滑倒啦，相信会找倒一个平衡点再站起来。学习了。

湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection

Posted: 2009-06-01 00:26:21 Post subject:

白水先生厉害,一眼看穿我的内心,

湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection

Posted: 2009-06-01 00:44:13 Post subject:

红红好,多提意见.

晴宝儿
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Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection

Posted: 2009-06-01 05:03:59 Post subject:

后段渐突出力量！白水同志品评感受深入，同欣赏！ _________________ 晴宝儿

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-06-01 15:40:04 Post subject:

My God, 可别真把我当“同志”了，其实我挺淑女的，不过爱开玩笑而已，绝无半点性取向问题还是给白水兄找点来源吧 http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=22358 http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=1760

湮雨朦朦
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection

Posted: 2009-06-02 01:04:29 Post subject:

诗人白水给的网址怎么打不开呀?

晴宝儿
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Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection

Posted: 2009-06-05 03:22:53 Post subject:

哈哈，总算弄清楚啦，白水的确是淑女（看那地址回帖版聊十分有趣）不得劲，还是白水兄弟吧 _________________ 晴宝儿

sfiawong
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Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection

Posted: 2009-06-05 03:46:48 Post subject:

好,好,唱得好,似在喉嚨安了咪高鋒, 由丹田直上喉頭.向天空吶喊盡唱心中的所有... 自由的發揮,自由的高歌... 一如對口的山歌順應潮流.... 歡迎日後加多些心中聲音. 待我多欣賞好唱口呵,....! _________________ 有評必回應. Love your relatives and friends when they are near you. 我的英文詩: http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong http://facebook.com/sfiawong

骨笛
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Joined: 03 Jan 2009
Posts: 547

骨笛Collection

Posted: 2009-06-05 05:52:54 Post subject:

原来岁月就这样灯红酒绿 _________________ 我把天空装在我家里，鸟儿天空中飞来飞去

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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