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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

七绝题照小楼闲愁

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2009-06-01 19:53:02 Post subject: 七绝题照小楼闲愁

七绝题照小楼闲愁 *司马策风淡装初上弄云萧，一笑一愁眉际描。何去良人空幔冷？绕梁寂寞又三遭。 2009，5，18 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2009-06-01 22:24:58 Post subject:

用白描手法写出空闺闲愁,附上玉照,则相得益张矣! _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2009-06-02 14:27:03 Post subject:

司马浪漫笔风! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2009-06-03 10:03:42 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

用白描手法写出空闺闲愁,附上玉照,则相得益张矣!

多谢黄先生阅读建议。问好！
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2009-06-04 15:14:11 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

司马浪漫笔风!

多谢白云兄关注阅评！
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

自然风
童生

Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 53

自然风Collection

Posted: 2009-06-04 18:57:18 Post subject:

与策风兄问: 淡装初上弄云萧，一笑一愁眉际描。何去良人空闺冷？绕梁寂寥又三遭。闺,寥二字皆为平声,以为出律.望赐教.

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2009-06-04 20:42:28 Post subject:

自然风 wrote:

与策风兄问:
...

多谢自然风兄仔细，细察之，的确有问题——出律了，检查不严。现在改过来。

谢谢兄台明察相助！
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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