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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

端午随笔

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-05-27 03:16:08 Post subject: 端午随笔

端午随笔一喂鱼的粽子喂了人嘴鱼还是吃了屈原所以，中原人至今仍粽子一样五花大绑他们的思想而鱼总充盈着诗意二我喜欢这惑鱼的饵食但吃一个就胃酸吃二个就胃疼三死一个人其实不错死一个诗人更好五月初五放假一天四 ………… 五很多人仍不接受教训他们仍写诗这些男人女人顺河游走却无法找一块自沉的石头二零零九五月初四 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

魏鵬展
秀才

Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 606
Location: Hong Kong 香港
魏鵬展Collection

Posted: 2009-05-27 06:07:28 Post subject:

很有趣﹗第五段最好。 _________________ 香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄： http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html 魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師；微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-05-27 13:00:29 Post subject:

谢谢。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-05-27 14:59:16 Post subject:

灵动，趣味。最欣赏这段，想起那些酸秀才，扔到河里鱼都不吃二我喜欢这惑鱼的饵食但吃一个就胃酸吃二个就胃疼问好端午

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2009-05-27 17:53:37 Post subject:

感覺有思路有變化. 四最爛, 唯其如此, 5才接得好. 個人兮歡3,5. _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

张凡修
童生

Joined: 05 Mar 2009
Posts: 82

张凡修Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 01:30:17 Post subject:

一喂鱼的粽子喂了人嘴鱼还是吃了屈原所以，中原人至今仍粽子一样五花大绑他们的思想而鱼总充盈着诗意 [[[[[漂亮----------尤其喜欢///中原人至今仍粽子一样五花大绑他们的思想

戴玨
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 01:43:52 Post subject:

吃兩個好像順口點。找到一块自沉的石头吧？從一到五意思上的轉變相當大，沒料到。 _________________ I labour by singing light 我的blog 我的專欄

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 02:25:34 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

灵动，趣味，诗意。
问好端午 Very Happy

白兄好。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 02:26:53 Post subject:

博弈 wrote:

感覺有思路有變化.
四最爛, 唯其如此, 5才接得好.
個人兮歡3,5. Wink

博兄见解独特。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 02:28:01 Post subject:

张凡修 wrote:

一
...

哈哈，谢谢兄弟。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 02:31:27 Post subject:

戴玨 wrote:

吃兩個好像順口點。

找到一块自沉的石头吧？
...

我做一下修改。
石头仍没找到，原因：1、没石头；2、即便有，也不沉，漂浮的厉害。 Very Happy

如果你找到，告诉我一声，好么？
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

戴永良
秀才

Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 194

戴永良Collection

Posted: 2009-05-28 14:10:28 Post subject:

"中原人至今仍粽子一样五花大绑他们的思想" 认识深刻。 _________________ 真诚友爱善良

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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