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生態詩,滴答
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-16 06:55:42    Post subject: 生態詩,滴答 Reply with quote

生態詩,滴答

咬著蘇打餅乾: 滴答滴答
縫紉機的針來回地刺著布
他與她在床上睪丸撞擊
腳印一個接著一個
魚竿甩出
  平靜的水面下懸著殺機

廚師的刀:滴答滴答
紅綠燈。他張口:蜜蜂飛出來
巴士停靠,巴士開走
飛機離開地面,人埋入土裡
飛機降落,地震來了
樹葉一片落下,一片著地

,巴士又來。她張口
傷口的血:滴滴答答
: 蝴蝶飛出來。放映機的膠卷一格一格
光的線刺過。魚缸裡的大魚的魚
左右徘徊。打字機打著尾韻
屋簷的語一滴一滴──終於停了
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-17 20:02:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

停于开始。
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可情可理,去捧就真
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-19 10:13:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

所有具有頻率的(固定或變動)都是一種時鐘.
詩的文字結構(以及形音義的重複)亦是一種計時器.

各個句子的意義上, 是屬於無題的, 由讀者自會.
屬一種更細微的解構, 把意義剝離地陳列.
句法具有電影語言的借鏡. Wink
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-20 05:15:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

时间留不住,所以记录下来,假装我们拥有它。
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sfiawong
秀才


Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection
PostPosted: 2009-06-29 23:32:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

你在東時,我在西,你在西時,我又在東!
彼此時間,各不相同.每個地方都有時差!
時空確不易相同,相同的當是緣份!
雖說同是同一世界人!同一屋簷下的是親人!

看詩題目誤以為是童詩
不意它卻是複雜的句子
令我有點錯愕
兒童詩更難寫
如能簡化詩句
便是成功童謠
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有評必回應.
Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
我的英文詩:
http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong
http://facebook.com/sfiawong
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