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冷----四川地震诗(五)
慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-25 09:41:36    Post subject: 冷----四川地震诗(五) Reply with quote
冷


孩子,你冷吗
那天你穿得太少了

现在夏天了
外头很热

而我的心
象掉到了无底的冰窖
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-25 09:42:10    Post subject: Reply with quote
这次四川大地震,据说很多学生死於豆腐渣工程,死於非命.失去儿女的父母怎可咽下这口气.我很同情他们,爱莫能助,却只能为他们写一首诗,以表达我的哀伤.
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-25 16:01:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
不错的诗！！！！
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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魏鵬展
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 606
Location: Hong Kong 香港
魏鵬展Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-25 16:37:27    Post subject: Reply with quote
你的詩相當精煉，主題相當深刻，這可能是由於你能善用對比手法。 Very Happy
_________________
香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄：
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師；微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-25 19:19:18    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢谢魏兄的支持,我的诗首先注重有明确主题,然后用简明的语言表达,从不用复杂的意象和晦涩的语言,自诩为[清流派].
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魏鵬展
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 606
Location: Hong Kong 香港
魏鵬展Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-25 22:04:11    Post subject: Reply with quote
我們的風格應很接近 Cool
_________________
香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄：
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師；微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-26 09:20:17    Post subject: Reply with quote
多交流,
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