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<春思>
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-07 16:23:19    Post subject: <春思> Reply with quote
踏雪更知朔气癫,
披风倍念故园川.
南望蛱蝶穿花舞,
又见蜻蜓点水翩.
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-07 16:35:11    Post subject: Reply with quote
临屏草和,见笑了

又见蜻蜓点水翩
北疆异国思故园
清明窗外风吹雪
四月梨花祭九天
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-07 16:42:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢白水!白水思聪敏捷! "四月梨花祭九天"佳句也!
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection
PostPosted: 2009-04-07 17:35:38    Post subject: Reply with quote
四月梨花祭九天，
桃红柳绿燕飞还。
春风若解思乡意，
吹动白云作远帆。
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lulu
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-04-08 01:47:44    Post subject: Reply with quote
lulu给各位老师问好，并向各位老师学习，接上一首，请指教！

吹动白云作远帆，
烟波浩淼水涟涟。
彩蝶飞舞春花美，
伊在南疆望故园。
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-08 05:03:27    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢庆宏君! "吹动白云作远帆"形象!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-08 05:08:00    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢lulu! "烟波浩淼水涟涟"好句!
和你切磋一下:"彩蝶"改为"蝶蜂"是否会更好!(因"蝶"字为仄声)
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lulu
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-04-20 01:53:36    Post subject: Reply with quote
白云闲人 wrote:
谢lulu! "烟波浩淼水涟涟"好句!
...

谢白云老师雅评！问好！请多赐教！

感觉您是从远古走来，从唐诗宋词中走来，您古韵的功底真是相当的扎实啊，羡慕！
没办法，lulu呢，就只能用新韵了。。。
赞同您的意见，把“彩蝶”改为“蝶蜂”，但在新韵当中，“蝶”是平声韵哦！

吹动白云作远帆，
烟波浩淼水涟涟。
蝶蜂飞舞春花美，
伊在南疆望故园。
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2009-04-20 05:07:19    Post subject: Reply with quote
lulu对不起!我经常误会你使用古韵呢,请莫介意.
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