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这些人
云冰之南
童生


Joined: 12 Apr 2009
Posts: 57

云冰之南Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-14 03:58:39    Post subject: 这些人 Reply with quote

这些人



有着喝酒后的豪迈

但,他们除过年过节喝点土烧

就是喝水,茶叶也少见

----他们是这个市场的搬运工

10吨、20吨、30吨、40吨

50吨,一包一包装卸

脸红,太阳晒的

寡言,没功夫闲扯



随身一块布

----或拿在手上或塞在裤袋

或披肩或缠头---各式包装袋

扯一块成就的

遮遮灰尘擦擦汗

抖一抖,一车货装卸完

回家,或再等等

市场瞧瞧



他们,租居在附近的民房

有的和老婆、小孩同来

更多的,孤身一人

添些两地牵挂,也省了些相互扳扯

一心挣钱,车来人往被视为好景好运

重物压肩,走起来才有劲

比空手快



我不便用上什么

比喻和奇想再去描绘他们

他们太朴实了,如一块坎肩布

汗水浸浸,其余的风啊雨啊

春啊秋啊,有点酸不上牙

他们,刚从我身边过

眼神对视了一下

彼此明白



2009.4.14
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-14 06:37:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

视角很好~叙述拖沓了些~~

问好~
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云冰之南
童生


Joined: 12 Apr 2009
Posts: 57

云冰之南Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-14 15:22:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢安红红评析!问好!
_________________
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电子信箱:fangyi-66@163.com
博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/fangyi66
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