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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

五绝梅

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-15 04:45:37 Post subject: 五绝梅

给各位诗友问好，和秋叶老师五绝——梅，请指教！五绝梅文/ lulu 吐蕊栖荒野，迎寒舞玉枝。雪中舒傲骨，岂怪又春迟！秋叶老师原玉：五绝－梅晚雪潜郊野，村头三两枝。冒寒仍苦立，寂寂待春迟。 _________________ 荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-03-15 17:42:24 Post subject:

好.诗歌言志

征尘载袖
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection

Posted: 2009-03-16 03:56:25 Post subject:

结句有点儿…… _________________

wenshan
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Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 112
Location: Canada
wenshanCollection

Posted: 2009-03-16 18:34:41 Post subject: 五绝-梅

lulu wrote:

给各位诗友问好，和秋叶老师五绝——梅，请指教！
...

依韵奉和lulu《五绝-梅》

疏影凌风醉，暗香呈雪姿。
古今多感慨，傲骨咏春词。

（加拿大/闻山）
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枫叶国-闻山

秋叶
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Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

秋叶Collection

Posted: 2009-03-22 14:51:05 Post subject:

不敢为师，谢谢lulu和作， “迎寒舞玉枝。” 好，同意“风里叹春迟。” 或可再推敲。敝作：五绝－梅晚雪潜郊野，村头三两枝。冒寒仍苦立，寂寂待春迟。 2006/2/4

自然风
童生

Joined: 20 Feb 2009
Posts: 53

自然风Collection

Posted: 2009-03-26 01:00:27 Post subject:

含羞几点媚，风雪暗香来。粉身碎骨去，无悔伴尘埃。

游向高原的鱼
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Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 382

游向高原的鱼Collection

Posted: 2009-03-27 04:23:44 Post subject:

风里叹春迟? lulu,这个何解啊？ _________________ 人生乃是一面镜子，在其中认识自己。

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-28 01:05:08 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

好.诗歌言志

谢美女玉赏雅评！问好！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-28 01:10:54 Post subject:

征尘载袖 wrote:

结句有点儿……

Thanks for your coming, beautiful Miss! Any opinions?
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-28 01:23:42 Post subject:

wenshan wrote:

lulu wrote:

给各位诗友问好，和秋叶老师五绝——梅，请指教！
...

依韵奉和lulu《五绝-梅》
...

谢闻山老师赏阅和诗，谢谢您的鼓励！lulu给您问好！
学生很欣赏您那沉稳、大气、豪迈的诗句！请您常来指点！多多赐教！谢谢！

依韵奉和闻山老师《五绝-梅》，请雅正！

昂首迎风醉，幽香俏雪姿。
凝思常慨叹，依韵赋春词。
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-28 01:40:11 Post subject:

秋叶 wrote:

不敢为师，谢谢lulu和作，
...

谢秋叶老师赏阅鼓励！谢您的指点！lulu给您问好！
lulu把原诗略作修改，不知您以为如何，望雅正！谢谢！

五绝梅

吐蕊栖荒野，迎寒舞玉枝。
雪中舒傲骨，岂怪又春迟。
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-28 01:48:55 Post subject:

自然风 wrote:

含羞几点媚，
风雪暗香来。
粉身碎骨去，
无悔伴尘埃。

lulu给诗友问好！谢谢您的赏阅并和诗！
依韵奉和一首，请指教！

五绝梅

疏影三分媚，幽香沁雪来。
舒眉伸傲骨，芳韵扫尘埃。
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-03-28 01:56:32 Post subject:

游向高原的鱼 wrote:

风里叹春迟?

lulu,这个何解啊？

谢您的赏阅，谢您的指点！lulu给您问好！
现把原诗略作修改，不知您认为如何？请雅正！谢谢！

五绝梅

吐蕊栖荒野，迎寒舞玉枝。
雪中舒傲骨，岂怪又春迟。
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

游向高原的鱼
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Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 382

游向高原的鱼Collection

Posted: 2009-03-28 05:10:25 Post subject:

吐蕊栖荒野，迎寒舞玉枝。雪中舒傲骨，翘首望春迟。 lulu，吐蕊、舞、舒，所状之梅应该是欢畅愉悦的，精神抖擞的。那么对春迟恐怕不会在乎。最后一句可否改为：岂怪又春迟！ _________________ 人生乃是一面镜子，在其中认识自己。

征尘载袖
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection

Posted: 2009-03-30 04:05:15 Post subject:

游向高原的鱼 wrote:

吐蕊、舞、舒，所状之梅应该是欢畅愉悦的，精神抖擞的。那么对春迟恐怕不会在乎。最后一句可否改为：岂怪又春迟！

黄鱼兄一语中的：）））
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-04-08 02:25:13 Post subject:

游向高原的鱼 wrote:

吐蕊栖荒野，迎寒舞玉枝。
...

谢谢你，fish！改得好，我完全赞同。。。您不愧是格律诗的高手，武功高强，而且您笔下的梅可是别具一格哦，lulu学习了！还请您常来指点！谢谢哈！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-04-08 02:27:25 Post subject:

征尘载袖 wrote:

游向高原的鱼 wrote:

吐蕊、舞、舒，所状之梅应该是欢畅愉悦的，精神抖擞的。那么对春迟恐怕不会在乎。最后一句可否改为：岂怪又春迟！

黄鱼兄一语中的：）））

Thanks a lot！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

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