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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

《萨满日记》附《入殓》

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2009-03-01 22:25:55 Post subject: 《萨满日记》附《入殓》

《萨满日记》 1 黑夜从我家开始从我家的屋角向外向全村漫延单鼓和神调从我家开始惊动蟋蟀和草根向屋外、向全村漫延 “日落西山黑了天虎奔森林鸟归山......” 2 母亲斜坐在炕稍的一角鼓点没有震落她头上的灰尘在神调里母亲等待着灵光的降临 “文王留下惊天鼓武王留下镇妖铃我祖留下阴阳卦卜问人间大事情......” 3 我头疼、腰疼、手脚疼还有心痛母亲一样样地向神灵诉说病根是一只狐狸或者黄鼬还可能是故去的老少亡灵一个巫婆模仿它们作祟的形态一个神汉在击鼓奋力追赶母亲暂时安静下来仿佛各种疼痛被诸神领走 “马跑轩央地来到万宝庄神屋藏信仰大拜祖先堂......” 4 屋角仿佛明亮起来母亲在忽明忽暗的油灯里露出笑容正是这最后的笑容让我和村庄永难忘记 “插上香来点上灯脚踏莲花朵朵生......” 5 在鼓点声中小白菜的根须把水抓紧玉米穗儿在贡桌外呲开黄牙在神调里高粱举起火把柿子点亮灯笼母亲也终于看到了神灵咽下最后一口气 6 “七十的不死八十的不亡为什么单死少年郎死去青年不要紧抛下寡妇守空房......” 母亲不用再担心守寡她走在了卑微的父亲前面入殓一母亲让我认真地看你一眼就像我降生的时候你看我二这是人间最温厚的木板我会轻轻地给你盖好母亲，就像你第一次把被子盖在我身上（母亲贫病交加，积劳成疾，病故于1983年，仅仅享年51岁） _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

姜慕水
秀才

Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Posts: 104

姜慕水Collection

Posted: 2009-03-02 00:40:19 Post subject:

感情很真挚,小细节可见母子深情!问好兄长!

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2009-03-02 03:40:52 Post subject:

母子情深~问好！

娇娇
秀才

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 124
Location: 吉林四平
娇娇Collection

Posted: 2009-03-02 20:53:40 Post subject:

情真意切！不由得使我想起了自己过世的母亲！ _________________ 每段路都有蹊径，向着阳光延伸！

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2009-03-05 19:14:55 Post subject: 诙谐

回谢慕水、明月、娇娇。本人很重视本诗。就是题目太恐怖。谁能帮助改一下。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

孙国福
童生

Joined: 08 Feb 2009
Posts: 63
Location: 吉林长春
孙国福Collection

Posted: 2009-03-06 05:00:00 Post subject:

人生有无数次的离别，同样，这也是离别！建议用《送别》，浅见。 _________________ 在这片贫瘠的土地上我播种苦难收获苦难来磨砺我思想的剑

张凡修
童生

Joined: 05 Mar 2009
Posts: 82

张凡修Collection

Posted: 2009-03-07 17:21:44 Post subject:

读少君的诗,理解.诗歌是节制的艺术]真情.自然流出好诗]]]]]]瞎参谋一个标题[盖上]..............

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2009-03-16 20:08:00 Post subject:

谢孙国福张凡修。考虑中。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

阿依琼裙
秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2009-03-16 21:24:10 Post subject:

情真意切～感叹离别～～问好少君！ _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

子花
秀才

Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2009-03-16 23:07:34 Post subject:

热泪盈眶！问好韩兄！题目就用《母亲》或者《致母亲》！！

刘浪
秀才

Joined: 04 Dec 2008
Posts: 227

刘浪Collection

Posted: 2009-03-17 00:31:30 Post subject:

为什么是“首空房”啊？笔误吗？跳神写得鲜活，入殓揪心。 _________________ 是金子也会花光地

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-03-17 13:49:03 Post subject:

这是人间最温厚的木板我会轻轻地给你盖好母亲，就像你第一次把新被子盖在我的身上无语......

娇娇
秀才

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 124
Location: 吉林四平
娇娇Collection

Posted: 2009-03-18 14:36:33 Post subject:

感动着！ _________________ 每段路都有蹊径，向着阳光延伸！

他乡客
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 487
Location: 加拿大.渥汰华 (Ottawa, Canada)
他乡客Collection

Posted: 2009-03-18 14:53:58 Post subject:

读着象一幕诗话剧。生动感人。母子情深。大家可能和我一样被“神调”的奇异而震撼。我想干脆就命名为＜神调＞好了。或是＜神调祭母＞，＜神调祭天＞。1985年我出国前，经历了同样的丧母之痛。拜读了。

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-03-19 00:40:33 Post subject:

这一组比以往的都好。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-03-19 01:46:32 Post subject:

http://oson.ca/posting.php?mode=editpost&p=106423 具体评述在上面。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2009-03-19 02:30:32 Post subject:

谢楼上各位！看到冲浪的评语了。深致谢忱！ _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-03-19 07:29:30 Post subject:

感动~还是感动~ 问好~学习~ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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