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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

七绝和自在飞《钓叟》

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-17 07:04:32 Post subject: 七绝和自在飞《钓叟》

七绝和自在飞《钓叟》一诗一和一杯酒，笑傲人生何惧愁。挥洒繁星来对弈，是非成败九天留。自在飞原玉：七绝钓叟一竿一叟一轻舟，划破云天撞日头。若是清心能做饵，繁星皓月也吞钩。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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Posted: 2009-03-17 14:10:05 Post subject:

唱和潇洒

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-17 16:04:56 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

唱和潇洒

谢白水兄雅评。

晓松
举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection

Posted: 2009-03-17 18:33:11 Post subject:

挥洒繁星来对弈，好想象！

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2009-03-18 05:12:27 Post subject:

笑傲人生,浩气冲九霄! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-18 06:47:37 Post subject:

晓松 wrote:

挥洒繁星来对弈，好想象！

谢晓松赏读。

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-18 06:48:13 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

笑傲人生,浩气冲九霄!

谢白云兄雅评。

莹雪
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Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
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Posted: 2009-03-18 14:33:42 Post subject:

自然洒脱。

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-18 15:06:00 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

自然洒脱。

谢谢莹雪MM雅评！好久不见，MM近来可好?

黄洋界
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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Posted: 2009-03-18 16:20:13 Post subject:

唱和俱佳."挥洒"可否换作"随取"? _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

莹雪
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Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection

Posted: 2009-03-18 16:29:36 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

莹雪 wrote:

自然洒脱。

谢谢莹雪MM雅评！好久不见，MM近来可好?

谢谢GG关怀！我挺好的，最近就是忙。

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-18 17:13:00 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

唱和俱佳."挥洒"可否换作"随取"?

谢黄老师赏读及建议：

一诗一和一杯酒，笑傲人生何惧愁。
随取繁星来对弈，是非成败九天留。

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-19 06:53:54 Post subject:

谢黄老师提点，再改如下：七绝和自在飞《钓叟》一诗一和一杯酒，笑傲人生何惧愁。拈取繁星来对弈，是非成败九天留。

黄洋界
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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Posted: 2009-03-19 22:45:35 Post subject:

用"拈"字换"随"字,显得更加灵动.改得好! _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-03-20 06:46:02 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

用"拈"字换"随"字,显得更加灵动.改得好!

多谢黄老师！

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