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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

<平水韵·五律>早春感怀

一壶枫雨
童生

Joined: 06 Mar 2009
Posts: 27

一壶枫雨Collection

Posted: 2009-03-07 08:23:11 Post subject: <平水韵·五律>早春感怀

Quote:

春早雨丝尖，梅残香梦寒。

天青水料峭，地白月阑珊。

林夕鸟归路，山曦虎震川。

流光传古韵，此曲复年年！

_________________
春风沐惠，秋月怀清。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-03-07 09:16:46 Post subject:

很美的意境

野航
秀才

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 547
Location: toronto
野航Collection

Posted: 2009-03-07 20:18:52 Post subject:

写景零碎,未成整体. _________________ 回归自然回归心灵回归传统

一壶枫雨
童生

Joined: 06 Mar 2009
Posts: 27

一壶枫雨Collection

Posted: 2009-03-11 17:35:55 Post subject:

感谢二位点评。尾联做了改动，请再审。问好！ _________________ 春风沐惠，秋月怀清。

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