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春节里的几首,祝大家新春愉快!
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-23 22:50:41    Post subject: 春节里的几首,祝大家新春愉快! Reply with quote

梦的耳朵

一个声音轻轻传来
夜支楞起梦的耳朵
此刻,街上的红灯笼正亮
红枣年糕香甜
远处的火车声隆隆
站牌一路写着“回家”

祖母身着玄衣站立村头
张开双臂呼唤:
孩子,奶奶想你——
青青的女孩在麦田奔跑
奔跑,流泪
跪在了开满迎春花的坟前
。。。。。。
啜泣声渐渐清晰
惊醒梦的耳朵

2007-2-16

燃春

迎春的烟花落下
梨树繁星绽放
引燃那
满山的桃花
一树树
烧红了脸蛋
油菜花,着绿裙
火苗传递整个山脉

点燃了春天
还有
姑娘的眼眸

2007-2-23

梨花如雪

象一尾鲑鱼
每个春节我们都要北上
游向自己的出生地
在洼地褪去旧甲
重长新鳞

走时
你黎明前的梦正酣
柴扉紧闭
油菜花边敲门
边梳理鹅黄的头发

归来
你已婷婷,如雪堆积
满山满山的吆喝:
春到了,春到了
惊飞路边的山鸡
惊醒我昏睡的心

2007-2-24
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 03:13:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

非常好。诸如以下:

红枣年糕香甜

站牌一路写着“回家”

祖母身着玄衣站立村头

青青的女孩在麦田奔跑

跪在了开满迎春花的坟前
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 04:34:45    Post subject: 新春好~ Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
非常好。诸如以下:

红枣年糕香甜

站牌一路写着“回家”

祖母身着玄衣站立村头

青青的女孩在麦田奔跑

跪在了开满迎春花的坟前


谢鼓励~
还是多提不足的地方,别只拣好听的说 Very Happy
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 19:13:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

清纯的春日, 清新宜人
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-03-05 11:37:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

梨花如雪

象一尾鲑鱼
每个春节我们都要北上
游向自己的出生地
在洼地褪去旧甲
重长新鳞

雨,哭啼挽留
山,面色阴郁
只有太阳雪,孩子似
窗前欢呼雀跃

走时
你黎明前的梦正酣
柴扉紧闭
油菜花边敲门
边梳理鹅黄的头发


归来
你已婷婷,如雪堆积
满山满山的吆喝:
春到了,春到了

惊飞路边的山鸡
惊醒我昏睡的心


很好的对比 看了多首 这个好!

。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-18 02:23:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:
Quote:

梨花如雪

象一尾鲑鱼
每个春节我们都要北上
游向自己的出生地
在洼地褪去旧甲
重长新鳞

雨,哭啼挽留
山,面色阴郁
只有太阳雪,孩子似
窗前欢呼雀跃

走时
你黎明前的梦正酣
柴扉紧闭
油菜花边敲门
边梳理鹅黄的头发


归来
你已婷婷,如雪堆积
满山满山的吆喝:
春到了,春到了

惊飞路边的山鸡
惊醒我昏睡的心


很好的对比 看了多首 这个好!

。。

多谢KOKHO点评,问好,握! Very Happy
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-18 15:11:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

一组非常隽永的小诗,一腔游子浓浓的乡愁!!!觉得诗写得非常好,收藏了!!!!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-28 03:04:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
"所以我把两收都放在了里面"

我怎莫每找到改之前的呢?能重新在原贴发一下吗?谢谢。


nobody:还在这里呢?
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-28 03:08:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
一组非常隽永的小诗,一腔游子浓浓的乡愁!!!觉得诗写得非常好,收藏了!!!!!!

谢海军,你的诗歌才是我要学习的~
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