白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-09 14:15:11 Post subject: 缺憾 |
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缺憾
默默地让我们对视, 冤家
一年又是今天
灶台边的兰花碗盛满了汤圆
一生一世的糍糯
莲蓉芯, 红豆馅
我不想开灯, 任
月光朦胧
朦胧地流过笨拙的手指
却不知怎样穿针
引线, 缝一件世间最完美的珍品
缺憾, 缺憾是女神的断臂
柔美的曲线
冤家, 远远地
让我们就这样对视
断臂之痛, 痛
也永恒 |
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hepingdao Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2009-02-09 16:19:46 Post subject: |
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女神什么都好 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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杯中冲浪 进士出身
Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Posts: 2891 Location: 中国 杯中冲浪Collection |
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莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-09 21:45:24 Post subject: |
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品味汤圆的甘甜
消融世间的冰川
让香糯月色填满
形成大爱之无华诗篇
[嘻嘻 先到这儿,有空我再回来作汤圆诗] |
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安红红 同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009 Posts: 1808
安红红Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 06:51:13 Post subject: |
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冤家看到,也是甜的~~
问好~ _________________ 如果不开始,会失去过程。
QQ:3972083
微信:qisebaihuayuan |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 13:23:33 Post subject: |
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PEACE, 该说什么呢? "都"字实在难求. 女神尚有断臂之痛, 何事可得十全十美 万千世界, 绝对存在于相对之中. |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 13:28:08 Post subject: |
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杯中冲浪 wrote: |
语言一流,一流如水。  |
谢谢冲浪.  |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 13:29:48 Post subject: |
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莹雪 wrote: |
品味汤圆的甘甜
消融世间的冰川
让香糯月色填满
形成大爱之无华诗篇
[嘻嘻 先到这儿,有空我再回来作汤圆诗] |
MM, 等吃你的汤圆诗. |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 13:39:03 Post subject: |
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安红红 wrote: |
冤家看到,也是甜的~~
问好~ |
谢谢你. 此冤家是一尊小雕塑,它要说甜, 我得乐晕,,,,,  |
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吟啸徐行 举人
Joined: 03 May 2008 Posts: 1336 Location: 中国安徽 吟啸徐行Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 20:45:14 Post subject: |
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有汤圆引出如此的联想和诗意,比吃汤圆远让愉悦. _________________ 彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活. |
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晴宝儿 秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2008 Posts: 666
晴宝儿Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-10 22:12:40 Post subject: |
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冤家, 远远地
让我们就这样对视
想象丰富,精致小诗! _________________ 晴宝儿 |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-11 01:01:20 Post subject: |
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感觉将最后一段去掉比较好。因为前一段已与起始形成回环反复~个见!
节日快乐!  |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-11 09:24:54 Post subject: |
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白水
这“灶台边的兰花碗盛满了汤圆
一生一世的糍糯
莲蓉芯, 红豆馅
我喜欢吃! |
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孙国福 童生
Joined: 08 Feb 2009 Posts: 63 Location: 吉林长春 孙国福Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-12 01:06:01 Post subject: |
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语言优美,意境深远! _________________ 在这片贫瘠的土地上我播种苦难收获苦难来磨砺我思想的剑 |
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晴宝儿 秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2008 Posts: 666
晴宝儿Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-13 10:15:44 Post subject: |
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我记得我回复来着,怎没痕迹了,刚读明月的也觉得是,再走到这里,越发确定是读过的
冤家, 远远地
让我们就这样对视
当时语忘了,记得冤家给我很深印象! _________________ 晴宝儿 |
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阿依琼裙 秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 920 Location: 废墟之上 阿依琼裙Collection |
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娇娇 秀才
Joined: 18 Nov 2008 Posts: 124 Location: 吉林四平 娇娇Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-13 23:25:08 Post subject: |
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永恒的,就是这痛。
“这”又是什么,我常常不知道。 _________________ 每段路都有蹊径,向着阳光延伸! |
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爱月 秀才

Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Posts: 250
爱月Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-14 00:28:49 Post subject: |
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“默默地让我们对视, 冤家 ”喜欢这样的句子;在痛中生的感觉。 _________________ 诗歌、诗剧。以文会友。http://blog.sina.com.cn/juneraiyue112 |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-14 02:41:30 Post subject: |
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我不想开灯, 任
月光朦胧
朦胧地流过笨拙的手指
却不知怎样穿针
引线, 缝一件世间最完美的珍品 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751 |
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孙国福 童生
Joined: 08 Feb 2009 Posts: 63 Location: 吉林长春 孙国福Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-14 02:45:27 Post subject: |
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细品,回味悠长!!! _________________ 在这片贫瘠的土地上我播种苦难收获苦难来磨砺我思想的剑 |
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