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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

七律春游宝墨园

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-02-06 06:32:08 Post subject: 七律春游宝墨园

给各位诗友问好，请指教！七律春游宝墨园文/ lulu 五羊城外觅芳园，山色湖光秀自然。灰塑木雕刻隽美，陶瓷宝墨聚渊源。拱桥清流江南景，玫瑰幽兰湖畔莲。独具匠心绘壮丽，身临其境洒悠闲。 _________________ 荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2009-02-06 07:07:54 Post subject:

lulu, 把五羊城湖光山色描划得淋漓尽致,小桥流水,花香秀丽,令人读来赏心悦目,胸怀舒畅! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-02-06 08:09:55 Post subject:

不错的七律啊！

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-02-06 14:43:56 Post subject:

身临其境洒悠闲潇洒

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-02-07 04:08:28 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

lulu, 把五羊城湖光山色描划得淋漓尽致,小桥流水,花香秀丽,令人读来赏心悦目,胸怀舒畅!

谢白云老师雅赏雅评！lulu还需要多向您学习！请多指教！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-02-07 04:11:14 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

不错的七律啊！

谢庆宏老师的夸奖！lulu还需要多向您学习，不断努力！请多指教！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

lulu
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-02-07 04:20:34 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

身临其境洒悠闲

潇洒 Very Happy

谢白水老师的雅赏！月光下的白水（泉水/湖水/海水/。。。）都是非常美的！ Very Happy

请多指教！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2009-02-07 08:28:01 Post subject:

lulu, 互相交流切磋,共同提高! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection

Posted: 2009-02-08 00:52:30 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

lulu, 我有一个建议,请你接纳! 就是:今后无需称我老师.一是,我双鬓花白,"老"完全称得起,却水平有限,天赋不高,故"师"当不起; 二是,各人的作品都有各自之长处和不足之点,风格各异,以诗友相称,更利于互相交流切磋,共同提高.你说好吗!

师者，传道授业解惑也，您解惑于我，岂不为吾师？今既是友又是师，不亦乐乎？
lulu以为，称呼并不重要，它意味着一种尊重，更何况您很有诗词功底，且为人热忱，又是双鬓花白的长者。
很喜欢您那两首：雪蝶翩翩 < 调寄转应曲 > 和大自然协奏曲 ( 三 ) 雪舞 < 调寄南歌子 > ，请问，这种写法也是一种格律吧？有时间的话，想跟您讨教一下这种格律的写法，可以吗？谢谢！
_________________
荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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