红袖添乱 秀才

Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 778
红袖添乱Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-02 19:37:40 Post subject: 春姑娘 |
|
|
为你
送去几缕
淡香
在你恬如岁月的嘴角
你却
用婉转的笛声
回送云水间
妩媚的莺语
你蓦然回首的
暖意
融化了雪
一个冬季的矜持
青山枯荣不息
但它最熟稔的
依然是你簪花的秀发
由风轻轻解开 _________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
詩盜喜裸評 进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-02 21:17:15 Post subject: |
|
|
这首,有修整的必要。 _________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
红袖添乱 秀才

Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 778
红袖添乱Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-03 08:44:31 Post subject: 好呀,你想提提建议,我砍刀 |
|
|
_________________ 梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
詩盜喜裸評 进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-03 20:27:00 Post subject: 这建议哪~还是别动的好! |
|
|
_________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
上城 进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 2024 Location: 江夏黄鹤楼 上城Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-05 02:12:16 Post subject: |
|
|
新年快乐。配一幅画就更好了 _________________ 每个诗人都很重要 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
曲元奇 秀才
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 427 Location: 山东 曲元奇Collection |
Posted: 2009-02-05 18:48:48 Post subject: |
|
|
第二段 第四段的第一句 非凡之笔 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
|