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Maple Review Home -> 和平岛

《荷塘月色》

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-01-28 21:50:06 Post subject: 《荷塘月色》

《荷塘月色》直到有人说我是一朵莲我就钻透淤泥并浮出水面那是几十年前的事了我恰好瞅见你—— 披一身月光漂洗的旧袍褂戴着可爱圆形眼镜被一条小煤屑的曲折牵引被一池虚构的歌声牵引在恰好瞅见我之前你低头近于清瘦仿佛杨柳投过来的鬼影我使劲喊先生朱先生。。。但你是听不见的仿佛来自另一个世界你忽然有所感，并写下这么一句—— 这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颤动，像闪电般，霎时传过荷塘的那边去了直到有人说我是一朵莲我仍然潜伏水底淤泥里做同样的一个梦 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-01-28 22:38:47 Post subject:

《仿佛》我牵着你的手来到这个城市并在正中央的那个湖边选中一条木椅的安静坐下仿佛面对的是一湖的莲花水下面一定有爆涨的藕一节节响着内心的白我举起了照相机仿佛那朵莲花就是你你笑了，指着我仿佛水里的太阳就是我后来，天黑了下来你抖落了一身的星星回家吧，你说仿佛家就在水的对面 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-01-29 01:37:35 Post subject:

很有禅意　又像情爱诗。。。多义的好　！。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-01-30 05:25:56 Post subject:

呵呵，给朱先生的请诗... 两首都先收藏，再慢品~

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-01-30 06:02:18 Post subject:

呵呵，看到这题目，我想到的就是那篇同题散文，没想到真的有关呢！很好的感觉！

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-01-30 08:46:06 Post subject:

和平岛的小夜曲在寒冷的冬夜讲述一个遥远而温馨的故事......

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-01-30 22:51:47 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

和平岛的小夜曲
在寒冷的冬夜讲述一个遥远而温馨的故事......

那好像最了解

。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-01-31 05:52:18 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

和平岛的小夜曲
在寒冷的冬夜讲述一个遥远而温馨的故事......

那好像最了解

。。

你忘了, 那不是你告诉我的吗? Cool

SORRY, 搞笑一个 Wink

了因大兄
秀才

Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 209

了因大兄Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 00:53:00 Post subject:

直到有人说我是一朵莲我就钻透淤泥并浮出水面联想的好。只是结尾可在想一想，变一变。个人浅见。 _________________ 我不是树上的黑木耳，我被爱过不能随随便便不回家 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1236932795

孙慧峰
童生

Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 97

孙慧峰Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 05:49:15 Post subject:

淤泥里做同样的一个梦延伸做的好。

无仑
童生

Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 69
Location: 中国.北京
无仑Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 07:20:11 Post subject:

＜藕＞无仑／和一首短的梦潜伏在水底乘一缕月光游去一朝醒来露出出淤泥而不染的身体借着月光在池塘里浆洗 _________________ 与文字同生,在诗歌中流浪...... http://blog.sina.com.cn/wulun

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-02-01 08:18:43 Post subject:

了因大兄 wrote:

直到有人说我是一朵莲
我就钻透淤泥
并浮出水面

联想的好。只是结尾可在想一想，变一变。
个人浅见。

谢谢指点
确实如此

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-02-01 08:20:34 Post subject:

无仑 wrote:

＜藕＞
无仑／和一首短的

梦潜伏在水底
乘一缕月光游去
一朝醒来
露出出淤泥而不染的身体
借着月光
在池塘里
浆洗

谢谢无仑所回的小诗

刘雨萍
秀才

Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection

Posted: 2007-02-01 09:04:42 Post subject:

我喜欢这里的气氛 ---- 荷花, 月色, 远去的人, 还有情诗. 问好. _________________ 隔海抒情

zmj166
秀才

Joined: 10 Jan 2009
Posts: 461

zmj166Collection

Posted: 2009-07-01 03:41:12 Post subject:

直到有人说我是一朵莲我仍然潜伏水底

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