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海上闲笔三:巽风
许蔚
童生


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-28 20:04:22    Post subject: 海上闲笔三:巽风 Reply with quote

海上闲笔三:巽风

许蔚

巽风不时来
漫卷千里故道
无处寂寞
无处惹尘埃
07.4.26
14:02时客海上白云观
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

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PostPosted: 2007-04-28 20:19:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

凝炼
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
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PostPosted: 2007-04-29 05:14:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

先生的诗很难懂的。
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
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PostPosted: 2007-04-29 05:18:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏的风格!
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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Location: 山东济宁
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PostPosted: 2007-04-29 20:46:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

是啊,风不来,你还想什么:)!`
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许蔚
童生


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-01 06:43:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵,风总是要来的,就看是什么风了




另,曾经有人说我的文字太个人,所以不容易明白,不过我觉得诗这种东西就应该个人,一个人的东西读得多了,自然就会了解他想什么,写什么,呵呵
不过这两年比较懒,写得东西不多,大家见到的就少了,以后不时地翻些旧作出来给大家看看吧
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2007-05-02 10:05:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

此诗在巽,“无处寂寞“改“寂寞无处“何如?
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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许蔚
童生


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

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PostPosted: 2007-05-03 03:20:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

是,倒是可以,不过下句如何改
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