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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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<极光>
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-26 17:12:37    Post subject: <极光> Reply with quote

<极光>


每一个轮回的太阳
我只能凝视它两次

余下的,那眩目的闪耀啊
我奋力仰望,却流着眼泪
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-26 18:41:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

每一个轮回的太阳
我只能安静地看它两次

多余的,那眩目的闪耀啊
我用窗帘把它悄悄地遮盖

问好迪拜诗人!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-26 18:49:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

余韵不绝~~
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踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-27 01:27:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

有回味~问好!
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-27 22:50:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

来读。

后两句似乎不是最佳结局。

问好
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《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-28 16:55:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢司马先生的点评.
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桔子
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 14:41:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

有余韵, 早晨好 Very Happy
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 19:51:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好迪拜!又出国了。极光的舞蹈多美啊,还未写够。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 19:57:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏。问好。
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我的博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1251343504
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 20:51:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

每一个轮回的太阳
我只能安静地看它两次

多余的,那眩目的闪耀啊
我用窗帘把它悄悄地遮盖

作为短诗, 字还可敛
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-01 11:49:55    Post subject: Reply with quote




拜读。。。

。。



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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-01 20:33:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

进行了修改

不知道,效果怎样
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-02 21:40:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

第二次修改后

仍然无法满意

再次进行修改

自己感觉好一点
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-02 22:18:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

<日全食>


每一个轮回的太阳
我最多注视它两次

余下的,那眩目的光耀啊
我用窗帘悄悄遮盖

不好意思,帮你改了下,个见!你自己斟酌下~
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刘雨萍
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-03 12:07:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习你精益求精的态度. 问好
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隔海抒情
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-03 16:00:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

《极光》的面条又闪成了《日全食》饼饼了啥?
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-03 19:46:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

又改了

唉,伤脑筋。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-03 19:54:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

极光

__读迪拜诗后感

我 从不
正视太阳 那
眩目的
让我
躲进一帘幽梦



这是我准备归于<致你>那一组诗歌的.
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子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-03 21:41:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

用眼皮遮盖吧~~~呵呵问好各位
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