Looking out the Window

2011-02-08 12:20:28

Looking out the Window

Looking out the window
in January, the morning sky
misty with drizzling snow,
you can feel the excitement
of threads of light pushing
through, like stage lighting,
illuminating, focusing, lacing the
firmament with all colors of life.

02/08/2011

从窗口望去

从窗口望去
一月，朦胧的晨空
飘洒着毛毛细雪
你可感觉到一束束光线
的骚动，奋力冲出，
如舞台灯光
照亮，聚焦，饰苍穹
以生命的全部色彩

2/13/2011

作者	留言
Lake	Sweet conveyance of the nature around and about Lake, very nice. Wish I could share the light you have access to - so dull in these parts. Frank 02/15/2011
Lake	titles At day’s end, gently we are drawn into tides of pain and passionate desire, our voices pretending to be silence, like insistences of a moonlit mind, there, looking out the window, as I cooked my ass off while drinking with Li Po at the Yacht Club, Sunday night, 2 am, before liberty calls and memory prevails and we go slowly driving away .... dedalus 3/10/2011 Hi Lake, Reading this poem I was struck by the beautiful literal description of this scene. It is precise and clear but it doesn\'t seem to me to carry emotion. You tell us "you can feel the excitement" but in truth I can\'t feel it. I\'m not being critical of your poem which is well written. I only comment because I too struggle with this in my own work, making that connection between the image I see and feel and the words I use to paint that image for others. I don\'t really have an answer for the fix I just feel like it needs fixing to make that transition from "a poem" to "poetry". I have been touched by your work on many occasions. just recently I read your Drinking with Li Po which vibrated with emotion. I felt it, teared up reading it. It was magical. It easily makes the transition from poem to poetry and then some. I use the comparison more in my own mind to try and figure out why one crosses over and one does not even though both are well written. I wish I had the solution. ~~Tink I like it just for the moment in time. I see myself with a cup of coffee, looking out my northward windows, cheered by the rays of sun through the snow. Adrift in the midst of plenty. Thank you. fdh

作者

留言

Lake

Sweet conveyance of the nature around and about Lake, very nice. Wish I could share the light you have access to - so dull in these parts. Frank

02/15/2011

Lake

titles

At day’s end, gently we are drawn
into tides of pain and passionate desire,
our voices pretending to be silence,
like insistences of a moonlit mind,
there, looking out the window,
as I cooked my ass off
while drinking with Li Po
at the Yacht Club, Sunday night, 2 am,
before liberty calls and memory prevails
and we go slowly driving away ....

dedalus
3/10/2011

Hi Lake, Reading this poem I was struck by the beautiful literal description of this scene. It is precise and clear but it doesn\'t seem to me to carry emotion. You tell us "you can feel the excitement" but in truth I can\'t feel it. I\'m not being critical of your poem which is well written. I only comment because I too struggle with this in my own work, making that connection between the image I see and feel and the words I use to paint that image for others. I don\'t really have an answer for the fix I just feel like it needs fixing to make that transition from "a poem" to "poetry".

I have been touched by your work on many occasions. just recently I read your Drinking with Li Po which vibrated with emotion. I felt it, teared up reading it. It was magical. It easily makes the transition from poem to poetry and then some. I use the comparison more in my own mind to try and figure out why one crosses over and one does not even though both are well written. I wish I had the solution.

~~Tink

I like it just for the moment in time. I see myself with a cup of coffee, looking out my northward windows, cheered by the rays of sun through the snow. Adrift in the midst of plenty. Thank you.
fdh

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