一
在我的开始中是我的结束。隆替演变
屋宇建起又倒坍、倾圮又重新扩建,
迁移,毁坏,修复,或在原址
出现一片空旷的田野,或一座工厂,或一条间道。
旧石筑新楼,古木升新火,
旧火变灰烬,灰烬化黄土,
而黄土如今已化为肉,毛,粪,
人和兽的骨,麦秆和绿叶。
屋宇有生也有死:有建造的时候
也有供生活和繁衍生息的时候,
有给大风吹落松弛的窗玻璃
摇动田鼠在来回奔驰的护壁板
吹起绣着沉默箴言的破挂毡的时候。
在我的开始中是我的结束。此刻阳光
掠过空旷的田野而隐去,留下深巷
任繁密的树叶把它掩住,你在暮色苍茫中
倚着岸堤,一辆货车从身边驶过,
深巷固执地向村里伸展,在炙人的暑热中
村子已摧入梦乡。在暖烘烘的氤氲里那燠热的光
被灰色的石头吸收了,而不是折射。
大丽花丛沉睡在空阒的寂静中。
等待着早来的枭鸟。
在空旷的田野
假如你不走得太近,假如你不走得太近,
在一个夏天的夜半,就就能听到
那轻柔的笛子和小鼓的音乐,
看见他们围着篝火跳舞,
男人和女人结对而舞,着是在举行婚礼——
一种庄严而方便的圣礼。
一双双一对对,必然的结合,
他们互相手拉手或臂膀挽着臂膀
表示情投意合。一圈又一圈地围着篝火
或加入舞伴们的圆圈,或穿过熊熊火焰
婆娑起舞,质朴而严肃,或发出村野的笑声
提起穿着笨拙的鞋子的沉重的脚,
泥脚,沾着沃土的脚、
沉浸在村野的欢乐——那久远以来
在地里滋育谷物的人们的欢乐之中。
他们按着生命的不同季节安排生活一样。
有四季更替和星辰出没的时间
有挤奶的时间和收获的时间
有男人和女人匹配成婚的时间
也有野兽交配的时间。两脚提起和放下。
吃和喝。拉撒和死亡。
东方破晓,另一个白天
又为炎热和寂静作准备。晨风在海上
吹起了波纹,掠海而去。我在这里
或在那里,或在别处。在我的开始中。
二
迟留的十一月
需要春天的困扰吗?
需要夏暑的创造物
和那脚下缠绕的雪花吗,
需要那一心想扶摇直上
却由红变灰终于跌落下来的蜀葵,
需要那盖满了初雪的凋零的玫瑰吗?
流驰的星星敲响了雷声隆隆
好似意气洋洋的战车
部署在群星会集的战斗中。
天蝎星攻打太阳
直打得太阳和月亮沉落
彗星暗暗哭泣而流星飞驰
追逐在一阵旋风中旋转的苍穹和大地
在冰雪君临大地之前旋风就将世界
卷向燃烧着的毁灭之火。
这不失为一种表达方式——但不太令人满意:
用一种陈旧的诗歌形式进行一次转弯抹角的研究,
而把人们始终留在一场跟语言和涵义
作无法容忍的扭打中。诗歌无关宗旨。
这并不是(重新开始)人们过去所期待的。
人们多年期待的东西,它的价值将是什么,
多年企望的平静,秋天般的平静
和老年的睿智,这一切又将有什么价值?
音容消寂的前辈他们遗赠给我们的只是欺骗的诀窍,
他们是骗了我们还是骗了他们自己?
平静不过是一种有意的愚騃
睿智不过是懂得一些已经失效的秘诀,
对他们在黑暗中窥视黑暗
或置黑暗于不顾都没有什么用处。
在我们看来,来自经验的知识
似乎只有一种有限的价值。
知识把一个模式强加于人,然后欺骗人,
因为模式在每一瞬间都是新的
而每一瞬间又都是对我们以往的一切
作出一次新的骇人的评价。我们只是因为欺骗
已不再能伤害我们,才没有受骗而已。
在人生的中途,不仅在旅程的中途
而且是全部历程,我们都在黑暗的森林中,荆棘中,
在沼泽的边缘,那里没有安全的落脚点
而且受到各种魔怪和虚幻的光明的威胁
引诱你去冒险。别让我听取
老年人的睿智,不如听他们的愚行,
他们对恐惧和狂乱的恐惧,他们对财产的恐惧,
对属于另一个人,属于别人或属于上帝的恐惧。
我们唯一能希冀获得的睿智
是谦卑的睿智:谦卑是永无止境的。
屋宇房舍都已沉入大海。
跳舞的人们都已长眠山下。
三
啊 黑暗 黑暗 黑暗。他们都走进了黑暗,
空虚的星际之间的空间,空虚进入空虚,
上校们,银行家们,知名的文学家们,
慷慨大度的艺术赞助人、政治家和统治者,
显要的文官们,形形色色的委员主席们,
工业巨子和卑微的承包商们都走进了黑暗,
太阳和月亮也暗淡无光了,哥达年鉴
证券市场报和董事姓名录都黯然失色了,
感觉冷却,行动的动机也已经消失。
于是我们大家和他们同行,走进肃穆的葬礼,
不是谁的葬礼,因为没有谁要埋葬。
我对我的灵魂说,别作声,让黑暗降临在你的身上
这准是上帝的黑暗。正如在剧场里
为了变换场景,灯光熄灭了,
舞台两厢一阵沉重的辘辘声,在黑暗里
随着一番黑暗的动作,我们知道
群山,树林,远处的活动画景
还有那显目而堂皇的正面装设都在移走——
或者象一列地铁火车,在地道里,在车站与车站之间停得太久
旅客们交谈之声纷起,又逐渐消寂于静默,
而你在每张脸孔后面看到内心的空虚正在加深
只留下没有什么可想的恐惧在心头升起;
或者像上了麻醉以后,头脑清醒却无所感觉——
我对我的灵魂说,别作声,耐心等待但不要寄予希望,
因为希望会变成对虚妄的希望;
耐心等待但不要怀有爱恋,
因为爱恋会变成对虚妄的爱恋;纵然犹有信心,
但是信心、爱和希望都在等待之中。
耐心等待但不要思索,因为你还没有准备好思索:
这样黑暗必将变得光明,静止也将变成舞蹈。
潺潺的溪水在低语,冬天有雷电闪烁。
野百合花和野草莓没有被人赏识,
花园里那曾回想过当年狂喜的笑声
如今尤未消寂,但是在要求并暗示
死亡与降生的痛苦。
你说我是在重复
我以前说过的话。我还要再说一遍。
要我再说一遍吗?为了要到达那儿,
到达现在你所在的地方,离开现在你不在的地方,
你必须经历一条其中并无引人入胜之处的道路。
为了最终理解你所不理解的,
你必须经历一条愚昧无知的道路。
为了占有你从未占有的东西,
你必须经历被剥夺的道路。
为了达到你现在所不在的名位,
你必须经历那条你不在其中的道路。
你所不了解的正是你所唯一了解的,
而你所拥有的正是你所并不拥有的,
而你所在的地方也正是你所不在的地方。
四
受伤的医生挥动着钢刀
细心探究发病的部位;
在流血的双手下我们感觉到
医生满怀强烈同情的技艺
在揭开体温图表上的谜。
我们仅有的健康是疾病
如果我们听从那位垂危的护士——
她坚定不移的关注不是使我们欢欣
而是提醒我们和亚当蒙受的灾祸,
一旦灾祸重临,我们的病必将变为沉疴。
整个世界是我们的医院
由那个不幸的百万富翁资助,
在那里,如果我们的病况好转,
我们就将死于专制的父爱的关注,
它须臾不离引导着我们,不论我们身在何处。
冷意从两脚间升向膝盖,
热度在精神的弦线中歌词。
如果使我暖和起来,那么,我准会在
寒冷的地狱之火中站立而冻僵,
炼火的烈焰是玫瑰,而浓烟是多刺的荆棘。
滴出的血是我们唯一的饮料,
血腥的肉是我们唯一的食粮,
即使这样,我们仍然乐于称道
我们是有血有肉的人,结实而又健康——
同样,尽管如此,我们称道这个星期五好。
五
我就在这里,在旅程的中途,已经有二十年——
二十个大半虚度的年月,介于两次大战的年月——
试着学会使用语言,而每一次尝试
都是一次完全新的开始,也是一次性质不同的失败,
因为你不过是为了叙述那已经不必再叙述
或者你已经不想再那样叙述的事情
而学习怎样驾御语言的。所以每次冒险从事
都是一次新的开始,一次用破敝的装备
向无法言述的事物发动的袭击,最后总是溃不成军
只留下不准确的感觉乱作一团,
一群没有纪律的激情的乌合之众。
而那需要你用气力和谦逊去征服的一切,
早已被那些你无法企及的人们
一次或两次,或好多次所发现——但是没有竞争——
只有去找回那已经失去的东西,
但一旦找到又重新失去,又去寻找,
这样循环反复的斗争。而现在似乎处于
不利的条件之下。但也许既无所得也无所失。
对于我们,唯有尝试自己,此外则非我们所能为力。
家是我们出发的地方。随着我们年岁渐老
世界变为陌路人,死与生的模式更为复杂。
那已与我们隔绝——没有以前也没有以后的,
不是那感情强烈的瞬间,而是每瞬间都在燃烧的一生,
不仅是一个人的一生,而且也是
那些如今无法辨认的古老石碑的一生。
有在星光下的黄昏时刻,
有在灯光下的黄昏时刻
(在灯下翻阅相片薄的黄昏)。
为此时此地无关紧要之际,
爱最近乎它自己。
老年人应该是探索者,
此地或彼地无关大局,
我们必须静静地继续前进,
越过黑暗的寒冷和空阒无人的废墟,
越过波涛的呼啸,大风的怒号,
海鸟和海豚的浩淼大海,进入另一个感情的强度,
为了获得更进一步的一致,更深入的交流。
在我的结束中是我的开始。
In my beginning is my end. In succession
Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended,
Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place
Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass.
Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires,
Old fires to ashes, and ashes to the earth
Which is already flesh, fur and faeces,
Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf.
Houses live and die: there is a time for building
And a time for living and for generation
And a time for the wind to break the loosened pane
And to shake the wainscot where the field-mouse trots
And to shake the tattered arras woven with a silent motto.
In my beginning is my end. Now the light falls
Across the open field, leaving the deep lane
Shuttered with branches, dark in the afternoon,
Where you lean against a bank while a van passes,
And the deep lane insists on the direction
Into the village, in the electric heat
Hypnotised. In a warm haze the sultry light
Is absorbed, not refracted, by grey stone.
The dahlias sleep in the empty silence.
Wait for the early owl.
In that open field
If you do not come too close, if you do not come too close,
On a summer midnight, you can hear the music
Of the weak pipe and the little drum
And see them dancing around the bonfire
The association of man and woman
In daunsinge, signifying matrimonie—
A dignified and commodiois sacrament.
Two and two, necessarye coniunction,
Holding eche other by the hand or the arm
Whiche betokeneth concorde. Round and round the fire
Leaping through the flames, or joined in circles,
Rustically solemn or in rustic laughter
Lifting heavy feet in clumsy shoes,
Earth feet, loam feet, lifted in country mirth
Mirth of those long since under earth
Nourishing the corn. Keeping time,
Keeping the rhythm in their dancing
As in their living in the living seasons
The time of the seasons and the constellations
The time of milking and the time of harvest
The time of the coupling of man and woman
And that of beasts. Feet rising and falling.
Eating and drinking. Dung and death.
Dawn points, and another day
Prepares for heat and silence. Out at sea the dawn wind
Wrinkles and slides. I am here
Or there, or elsewhere. In my beginning.
II
What is the late November doing
With the disturbance of the spring
And creatures of the summer heat,
And snowdrops writhing under feet
And hollyhocks that aim too high
Red into grey and tumble down
Late roses filled with early snow?
Thunder rolled by the rolling stars
Simulates triumphal cars
Deployed in constellated wars
Scorpion fights against the Sun
Until the Sun and Moon go down
Comets weep and Leonids fly
Hunt the heavens and the plains
Whirled in a vortex that shall bring
The world to that destructive fire
Which burns before the ice-cap reigns.
That was a way of putting it—not very satisfactory:
A periphrastic study in a worn-out poetical fashion,
Leaving one still with the intolerable wrestle
With words and meanings. The poetry does not matter.
It was not (to start again) what one had expected.
What was to be the value of the long looked forward to,
Long hoped for calm, the autumnal serenity
And the wisdom of age? Had they deceived us
Or deceived themselves, the quiet-voiced elders,
Bequeathing us merely a receipt for deceit?
The serenity only a deliberate hebetude,
The wisdom only the knowledge of dead secrets
Useless in the darkness into which they peered
Or from which they turned their eyes. There is, it seems to us,
At best, only a limited value
In the knowledge derived from experience.
The knowledge imposes a pattern, and falsifies,
For the pattern is new in every moment
And every moment is a new and shocking
Valuation of all we have been. We are only undeceived
Of that which, deceiving, could no longer harm.
In the middle, not only in the middle of the way
But all the way, in a dark wood, in a bramble,
On the edge of a grimpen, where is no secure foothold,
And menaced by monsters, fancy lights,
Risking enchantment. Do not let me hear
Of the wisdom of old men, but rather of their folly,
Their fear of fear and frenzy, their fear of possession,
Of belonging to another, or to others, or to God.
The only wisdom we can hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.
The houses are all gone under the sea.
The dancers are all gone under the hill.
III
O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark,
The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant,
The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters,
The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers,
Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees,
Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark,
And dark the Sun and Moon, and the Almanach de Gotha
And the Stock Exchange Gazette, the Directory of Directors,
And cold the sense and lost the motive of action.
And we all go with them, into the silent funeral,
Nobody's funeral, for there is no one to bury.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre,
The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,
And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama
And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away—
Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations
And the conversation rises and slowly fades into silence
And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen
Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about;
Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing—
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.
You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.
IV
The wounded surgeon plies the steel
That questions the distempered part;
Beneath the bleeding hands we feel
The sharp compassion of the healer's art
Resolving the enigma of the fever chart.
Our only health is the disease
If we obey the dying nurse
Whose constant care is not to please
But to remind of our, and Adam's curse,
And that, to be restored, our sickness must grow worse.
The whole earth is our hospital
Endowed by the ruined millionaire,
Wherein, if we do well, we shall
Die of the absolute paternal care
That will not leave us, but prevents us everywhere.
The chill ascends from feet to knees,
The fever sings in mental wires.
If to be warmed, then I must freeze
And quake in frigid purgatorial fires
Of which the flame is roses, and the smoke is briars.
The dripping blood our only drink,
The bloody flesh our only food:
In spite of which we like to think
That we are sound, substantial flesh and blood—
Again, in spite of that, we call this Friday good.
V
So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years—
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion. And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious. But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
Home is where one starts from. As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living. Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise. In my end is my beginning.
在我的开始中是我的结束。隆替演变
屋宇建起又倒坍、倾圮又重新扩建,
迁移,毁坏,修复,或在原址
出现一片空旷的田野,或一座工厂,或一条间道。
旧石筑新楼,古木升新火,
旧火变灰烬,灰烬化黄土,
而黄土如今已化为肉,毛,粪,
人和兽的骨,麦秆和绿叶。
屋宇有生也有死:有建造的时候
也有供生活和繁衍生息的时候,
有给大风吹落松弛的窗玻璃
摇动田鼠在来回奔驰的护壁板
吹起绣着沉默箴言的破挂毡的时候。
在我的开始中是我的结束。此刻阳光
掠过空旷的田野而隐去,留下深巷
任繁密的树叶把它掩住,你在暮色苍茫中
倚着岸堤,一辆货车从身边驶过,
深巷固执地向村里伸展,在炙人的暑热中
村子已摧入梦乡。在暖烘烘的氤氲里那燠热的光
被灰色的石头吸收了,而不是折射。
大丽花丛沉睡在空阒的寂静中。
等待着早来的枭鸟。
在空旷的田野
假如你不走得太近,假如你不走得太近,
在一个夏天的夜半,就就能听到
那轻柔的笛子和小鼓的音乐,
看见他们围着篝火跳舞,
男人和女人结对而舞,着是在举行婚礼——
一种庄严而方便的圣礼。
一双双一对对,必然的结合,
他们互相手拉手或臂膀挽着臂膀
表示情投意合。一圈又一圈地围着篝火
或加入舞伴们的圆圈,或穿过熊熊火焰
婆娑起舞,质朴而严肃,或发出村野的笑声
提起穿着笨拙的鞋子的沉重的脚,
泥脚,沾着沃土的脚、
沉浸在村野的欢乐——那久远以来
在地里滋育谷物的人们的欢乐之中。
他们按着生命的不同季节安排生活一样。
有四季更替和星辰出没的时间
有挤奶的时间和收获的时间
有男人和女人匹配成婚的时间
也有野兽交配的时间。两脚提起和放下。
吃和喝。拉撒和死亡。
东方破晓,另一个白天
又为炎热和寂静作准备。晨风在海上
吹起了波纹,掠海而去。我在这里
或在那里,或在别处。在我的开始中。
二
迟留的十一月
需要春天的困扰吗?
需要夏暑的创造物
和那脚下缠绕的雪花吗,
需要那一心想扶摇直上
却由红变灰终于跌落下来的蜀葵,
需要那盖满了初雪的凋零的玫瑰吗?
流驰的星星敲响了雷声隆隆
好似意气洋洋的战车
部署在群星会集的战斗中。
天蝎星攻打太阳
直打得太阳和月亮沉落
彗星暗暗哭泣而流星飞驰
追逐在一阵旋风中旋转的苍穹和大地
在冰雪君临大地之前旋风就将世界
卷向燃烧着的毁灭之火。
这不失为一种表达方式——但不太令人满意:
用一种陈旧的诗歌形式进行一次转弯抹角的研究,
而把人们始终留在一场跟语言和涵义
作无法容忍的扭打中。诗歌无关宗旨。
这并不是(重新开始)人们过去所期待的。
人们多年期待的东西,它的价值将是什么,
多年企望的平静,秋天般的平静
和老年的睿智,这一切又将有什么价值?
音容消寂的前辈他们遗赠给我们的只是欺骗的诀窍,
他们是骗了我们还是骗了他们自己?
平静不过是一种有意的愚騃
睿智不过是懂得一些已经失效的秘诀,
对他们在黑暗中窥视黑暗
或置黑暗于不顾都没有什么用处。
在我们看来,来自经验的知识
似乎只有一种有限的价值。
知识把一个模式强加于人,然后欺骗人,
因为模式在每一瞬间都是新的
而每一瞬间又都是对我们以往的一切
作出一次新的骇人的评价。我们只是因为欺骗
已不再能伤害我们,才没有受骗而已。
在人生的中途,不仅在旅程的中途
而且是全部历程,我们都在黑暗的森林中,荆棘中,
在沼泽的边缘,那里没有安全的落脚点
而且受到各种魔怪和虚幻的光明的威胁
引诱你去冒险。别让我听取
老年人的睿智,不如听他们的愚行,
他们对恐惧和狂乱的恐惧,他们对财产的恐惧,
对属于另一个人,属于别人或属于上帝的恐惧。
我们唯一能希冀获得的睿智
是谦卑的睿智:谦卑是永无止境的。
屋宇房舍都已沉入大海。
跳舞的人们都已长眠山下。
三
啊 黑暗 黑暗 黑暗。他们都走进了黑暗,
空虚的星际之间的空间,空虚进入空虚,
上校们,银行家们,知名的文学家们,
慷慨大度的艺术赞助人、政治家和统治者,
显要的文官们,形形色色的委员主席们,
工业巨子和卑微的承包商们都走进了黑暗,
太阳和月亮也暗淡无光了,哥达年鉴
证券市场报和董事姓名录都黯然失色了,
感觉冷却,行动的动机也已经消失。
于是我们大家和他们同行,走进肃穆的葬礼,
不是谁的葬礼,因为没有谁要埋葬。
我对我的灵魂说,别作声,让黑暗降临在你的身上
这准是上帝的黑暗。正如在剧场里
为了变换场景,灯光熄灭了,
舞台两厢一阵沉重的辘辘声,在黑暗里
随着一番黑暗的动作,我们知道
群山,树林,远处的活动画景
还有那显目而堂皇的正面装设都在移走——
或者象一列地铁火车,在地道里,在车站与车站之间停得太久
旅客们交谈之声纷起,又逐渐消寂于静默,
而你在每张脸孔后面看到内心的空虚正在加深
只留下没有什么可想的恐惧在心头升起;
或者像上了麻醉以后,头脑清醒却无所感觉——
我对我的灵魂说,别作声,耐心等待但不要寄予希望,
因为希望会变成对虚妄的希望;
耐心等待但不要怀有爱恋,
因为爱恋会变成对虚妄的爱恋;纵然犹有信心,
但是信心、爱和希望都在等待之中。
耐心等待但不要思索,因为你还没有准备好思索:
这样黑暗必将变得光明,静止也将变成舞蹈。
潺潺的溪水在低语,冬天有雷电闪烁。
野百合花和野草莓没有被人赏识,
花园里那曾回想过当年狂喜的笑声
如今尤未消寂,但是在要求并暗示
死亡与降生的痛苦。
你说我是在重复
我以前说过的话。我还要再说一遍。
要我再说一遍吗?为了要到达那儿,
到达现在你所在的地方,离开现在你不在的地方,
你必须经历一条其中并无引人入胜之处的道路。
为了最终理解你所不理解的,
你必须经历一条愚昧无知的道路。
为了占有你从未占有的东西,
你必须经历被剥夺的道路。
为了达到你现在所不在的名位,
你必须经历那条你不在其中的道路。
你所不了解的正是你所唯一了解的,
而你所拥有的正是你所并不拥有的,
而你所在的地方也正是你所不在的地方。
四
受伤的医生挥动着钢刀
细心探究发病的部位;
在流血的双手下我们感觉到
医生满怀强烈同情的技艺
在揭开体温图表上的谜。
我们仅有的健康是疾病
如果我们听从那位垂危的护士——
她坚定不移的关注不是使我们欢欣
而是提醒我们和亚当蒙受的灾祸,
一旦灾祸重临,我们的病必将变为沉疴。
整个世界是我们的医院
由那个不幸的百万富翁资助,
在那里,如果我们的病况好转,
我们就将死于专制的父爱的关注,
它须臾不离引导着我们,不论我们身在何处。
冷意从两脚间升向膝盖,
热度在精神的弦线中歌词。
如果使我暖和起来,那么,我准会在
寒冷的地狱之火中站立而冻僵,
炼火的烈焰是玫瑰,而浓烟是多刺的荆棘。
滴出的血是我们唯一的饮料,
血腥的肉是我们唯一的食粮,
即使这样,我们仍然乐于称道
我们是有血有肉的人,结实而又健康——
同样,尽管如此,我们称道这个星期五好。
五
我就在这里,在旅程的中途,已经有二十年——
二十个大半虚度的年月,介于两次大战的年月——
试着学会使用语言,而每一次尝试
都是一次完全新的开始,也是一次性质不同的失败,
因为你不过是为了叙述那已经不必再叙述
或者你已经不想再那样叙述的事情
而学习怎样驾御语言的。所以每次冒险从事
都是一次新的开始,一次用破敝的装备
向无法言述的事物发动的袭击,最后总是溃不成军
只留下不准确的感觉乱作一团,
一群没有纪律的激情的乌合之众。
而那需要你用气力和谦逊去征服的一切,
早已被那些你无法企及的人们
一次或两次,或好多次所发现——但是没有竞争——
只有去找回那已经失去的东西,
但一旦找到又重新失去,又去寻找,
这样循环反复的斗争。而现在似乎处于
不利的条件之下。但也许既无所得也无所失。
对于我们,唯有尝试自己,此外则非我们所能为力。
家是我们出发的地方。随着我们年岁渐老
世界变为陌路人,死与生的模式更为复杂。
那已与我们隔绝——没有以前也没有以后的,
不是那感情强烈的瞬间,而是每瞬间都在燃烧的一生,
不仅是一个人的一生,而且也是
那些如今无法辨认的古老石碑的一生。
有在星光下的黄昏时刻,
有在灯光下的黄昏时刻
(在灯下翻阅相片薄的黄昏)。
为此时此地无关紧要之际,
爱最近乎它自己。
老年人应该是探索者,
此地或彼地无关大局,
我们必须静静地继续前进,
越过黑暗的寒冷和空阒无人的废墟,
越过波涛的呼啸,大风的怒号,
海鸟和海豚的浩淼大海,进入另一个感情的强度,
为了获得更进一步的一致,更深入的交流。
在我的结束中是我的开始。
In my beginning is my end. In succession
Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended,
Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place
Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass.
Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires,
Old fires to ashes, and ashes to the earth
Which is already flesh, fur and faeces,
Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf.
Houses live and die: there is a time for building
And a time for living and for generation
And a time for the wind to break the loosened pane
And to shake the wainscot where the field-mouse trots
And to shake the tattered arras woven with a silent motto.
In my beginning is my end. Now the light falls
Across the open field, leaving the deep lane
Shuttered with branches, dark in the afternoon,
Where you lean against a bank while a van passes,
And the deep lane insists on the direction
Into the village, in the electric heat
Hypnotised. In a warm haze the sultry light
Is absorbed, not refracted, by grey stone.
The dahlias sleep in the empty silence.
Wait for the early owl.
In that open field
If you do not come too close, if you do not come too close,
On a summer midnight, you can hear the music
Of the weak pipe and the little drum
And see them dancing around the bonfire
The association of man and woman
In daunsinge, signifying matrimonie—
A dignified and commodiois sacrament.
Two and two, necessarye coniunction,
Holding eche other by the hand or the arm
Whiche betokeneth concorde. Round and round the fire
Leaping through the flames, or joined in circles,
Rustically solemn or in rustic laughter
Lifting heavy feet in clumsy shoes,
Earth feet, loam feet, lifted in country mirth
Mirth of those long since under earth
Nourishing the corn. Keeping time,
Keeping the rhythm in their dancing
As in their living in the living seasons
The time of the seasons and the constellations
The time of milking and the time of harvest
The time of the coupling of man and woman
And that of beasts. Feet rising and falling.
Eating and drinking. Dung and death.
Dawn points, and another day
Prepares for heat and silence. Out at sea the dawn wind
Wrinkles and slides. I am here
Or there, or elsewhere. In my beginning.
II
What is the late November doing
With the disturbance of the spring
And creatures of the summer heat,
And snowdrops writhing under feet
And hollyhocks that aim too high
Red into grey and tumble down
Late roses filled with early snow?
Thunder rolled by the rolling stars
Simulates triumphal cars
Deployed in constellated wars
Scorpion fights against the Sun
Until the Sun and Moon go down
Comets weep and Leonids fly
Hunt the heavens and the plains
Whirled in a vortex that shall bring
The world to that destructive fire
Which burns before the ice-cap reigns.
That was a way of putting it—not very satisfactory:
A periphrastic study in a worn-out poetical fashion,
Leaving one still with the intolerable wrestle
With words and meanings. The poetry does not matter.
It was not (to start again) what one had expected.
What was to be the value of the long looked forward to,
Long hoped for calm, the autumnal serenity
And the wisdom of age? Had they deceived us
Or deceived themselves, the quiet-voiced elders,
Bequeathing us merely a receipt for deceit?
The serenity only a deliberate hebetude,
The wisdom only the knowledge of dead secrets
Useless in the darkness into which they peered
Or from which they turned their eyes. There is, it seems to us,
At best, only a limited value
In the knowledge derived from experience.
The knowledge imposes a pattern, and falsifies,
For the pattern is new in every moment
And every moment is a new and shocking
Valuation of all we have been. We are only undeceived
Of that which, deceiving, could no longer harm.
In the middle, not only in the middle of the way
But all the way, in a dark wood, in a bramble,
On the edge of a grimpen, where is no secure foothold,
And menaced by monsters, fancy lights,
Risking enchantment. Do not let me hear
Of the wisdom of old men, but rather of their folly,
Their fear of fear and frenzy, their fear of possession,
Of belonging to another, or to others, or to God.
The only wisdom we can hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.
The houses are all gone under the sea.
The dancers are all gone under the hill.
III
O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark,
The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant,
The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters,
The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers,
Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees,
Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark,
And dark the Sun and Moon, and the Almanach de Gotha
And the Stock Exchange Gazette, the Directory of Directors,
And cold the sense and lost the motive of action.
And we all go with them, into the silent funeral,
Nobody's funeral, for there is no one to bury.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre,
The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,
And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama
And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away—
Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations
And the conversation rises and slowly fades into silence
And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen
Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about;
Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing—
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.
You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.
IV
The wounded surgeon plies the steel
That questions the distempered part;
Beneath the bleeding hands we feel
The sharp compassion of the healer's art
Resolving the enigma of the fever chart.
Our only health is the disease
If we obey the dying nurse
Whose constant care is not to please
But to remind of our, and Adam's curse,
And that, to be restored, our sickness must grow worse.
The whole earth is our hospital
Endowed by the ruined millionaire,
Wherein, if we do well, we shall
Die of the absolute paternal care
That will not leave us, but prevents us everywhere.
The chill ascends from feet to knees,
The fever sings in mental wires.
If to be warmed, then I must freeze
And quake in frigid purgatorial fires
Of which the flame is roses, and the smoke is briars.
The dripping blood our only drink,
The bloody flesh our only food:
In spite of which we like to think
That we are sound, substantial flesh and blood—
Again, in spite of that, we call this Friday good.
V
So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years—
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion. And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious. But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
Home is where one starts from. As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living. Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise. In my end is my beginning.
【注释】 四阙四重奏
Quartet No. 1: Burnt Norton
Quartet No. 2: East Coker
Quartet No. 3: The Dry Salvages
Quartet No. 4: Little Gidding