nǐ mendōu shì mí wǎng de yī dài。 -- yǐn zì hé gé tè lù dé · sī tǎn de yī cì tán huà ①
yī dài guò qù， yī dài yòu lái， dì què yǒng yuǎn cháng cún。 rì tóu chū lái， rì tóu làxià。 jí guī suǒ chū zhī dì。 fēng wǎng nán guā， yòu xiàng běi zhuǎn， bù zhù de xuánzhuàn， ér qiě fǎn huí zhuǎnháng yuán dào。 jiāng hé dū wǎng hǎi lǐ liú， hǎi què bù mǎn。 jiāng hé cóng hé chù liú， réng guī hái hé chù。
--《 chuán dào shū》 ②
① yī jiǔ 'èr sì nián xià， sī tǎn céng zài hé hǎi míng chéng jiāo tán shí， bǎ cān jiā guò dì yī cì shì jiè dà zhàn de qīng nián chēng zhī wéi“ mí wǎng de yī dài”。 hǎi míng wēi zuì chū céng kǎo lǜ yǐ zhī zuò wéi běn shū de shū míng。
② yǐn zì《 shèng jīngzhuàn dào shū》， dì yī zhāng dì sì dào dì qī jié。“ rì tóu chū lái” sì zì zài shèng jīng yīng yì běn zhōng zuò "Thesunalsoariseth"。 hǎi míng wēi zuì hòu cǎi yòng wéi běn shū shū míng， gǎi yòng xiàn dài yīng yǔ de pīn fǎ。 běn shū zhōng yì běn shū míng jí zhào cǐ yì chū。
and for John Hadley Nicanor
"_You are all a lost generation_."
--GERTRUDE STEIN IN CONVERSATION
"_One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh; but the earth abideth forever... The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to the place where he arose... The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. .. . All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again_."
-- ECCLESIASTES
yī dài guò qù， yī dài yòu lái， dì què yǒng yuǎn cháng cún。 rì tóu chū lái， rì tóu làxià。 jí guī suǒ chū zhī dì。 fēng wǎng nán guā， yòu xiàng běi zhuǎn， bù zhù de xuánzhuàn， ér qiě fǎn huí zhuǎnháng yuán dào。 jiāng hé dū wǎng hǎi lǐ liú， hǎi què bù mǎn。 jiāng hé cóng hé chù liú， réng guī hái hé chù。
--《 chuán dào shū》 ②
① yī jiǔ 'èr sì nián xià， sī tǎn céng zài hé hǎi míng chéng jiāo tán shí， bǎ cān jiā guò dì yī cì shì jiè dà zhàn de qīng nián chēng zhī wéi“ mí wǎng de yī dài”。 hǎi míng wēi zuì chū céng kǎo lǜ yǐ zhī zuò wéi běn shū de shū míng。
② yǐn zì《 shèng jīngzhuàn dào shū》， dì yī zhāng dì sì dào dì qī jié。“ rì tóu chū lái” sì zì zài shèng jīng yīng yì běn zhōng zuò "Thesunalsoariseth"。 hǎi míng wēi zuì hòu cǎi yòng wéi běn shū shū míng， gǎi yòng xiàn dài yīng yǔ de pīn fǎ。 běn shū zhōng yì běn shū míng jí zhào cǐ yì chū。
and for John Hadley Nicanor
"_You are all a lost generation_."
--GERTRUDE STEIN IN CONVERSATION
"_One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh; but the earth abideth forever... The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to the place where he arose... The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. .. . All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again_."
-- ECCLESIASTES
luó bó tè . kē 'ēn yī dù shì pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué zhōng liàng jí quán jī guànjūn。 bié yǐ wéi yī gè quán jī guànjūn de chēng hào huì gěi wǒ fēi cháng shēn kè de yìn xiàng， dàn dāng shí duì kē 'ēn què shì jiàn liǎo bù qǐ de shì 'ér。 tā duì quán jī yī diǎn yě bù 'àihào， shí jì shàng tā hěn tǎo yàn quán jī， dàn shì tā réng rán tòng kǔ 'ér yī sī bù gǒu dì xué dǎ quán， yǐ cǐ lái dǐ xiāo zài pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué bèi zuò wéi yóu tài rén duì dài shí suǒ gǎn dào de dī rén yī děng hé xiū qiè de xīn qíng。 suī rán tā hěn miǎn tiǎn， shì gè shí fēn hòu dào de nián qīng rén， chú liǎo zài jiàn shēn fáng lǐ dǎ quán， cóng lái bù gēn rén dǎ jià dǒu 'ōu， dàn shì xiǎng dào zì jǐ néng gòu bǎ qiáo bù qǐ tā de rèn hé yī gè rén zài dì， tā jiù 'àn zì dé yì。 tā shì sī bài dé . kǎi lì de dé yì mén shēng。 bù guǎn zhè xiē nián qīng rén de tǐ zhòng shì yī bǎi líng wǔ bàng， hái shì 'èr bǎi líng wǔ bàng， sī bài dé . kǎi lì dū bǎ tā men dāng zuò cì qīng liàng jí quán jī shǒu lái jiào。 bù guò zhè zhǒng fāng fǎ sì hū duì kē 'ēn hěn shì hé。 tā de dòng zuò què shí fēi cháng mǐn jié。 tā xué dé hěn hǎo， sī bài dé mǎ shàng 'ān pái tā gēn qiáng shǒu jiāo fēng， gěi tā zhōng shēng liú xià liǎo yī gè biǎn píng de bí zǐ。 zhè jiàn shì zēng jiā liǎo kē 'ēn duì quán jī de fǎn gǎn， dàn yě gěi liǎo tā mǒu zhǒng yì yàng de mǎn zú， yě què shí shǐ tā de bí zǐ biàn dé hǎo kàn xiē。 tā zài pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué de zuì hòu yī nián lǐ， dú shū guò duō， kāi shǐ dài yǎn jìng。 wǒ méi jiàn guò tā bān shàng de tóng xué hái yòu shuí jì dé tā de。 tā men shèn zhì jì bù dé tā céng shì zhōng liàng jí quán jī guànjūn。
wǒ duì suǒ yòu tǎn shuài、 pǔ shí de rén xiàng lái xìn bù guò， yóu qí shì dāng tā men jiǎng de shì méi yòu lòu dòng de shí hòu， yīn cǐ wǒ shǐ zhōng huái yí luó bó tè . kē 'ēn dà gài cóng lái yě méi dāng guò zhōng liàng jí quán jī guànjūn， yě xǔ yòu pǐ mǎ céng cǎi guò tā de liǎn， yào bù， yě xǔ tā mǔ qīn huái tāi shí shòu guò jīng xià huò zhě kàn jiàn guò shénme guài wù， yào bù， yě xǔ tā xiǎo shí hòu céng zhuàng zài shénme dōng xī shàng， bù guò tā zhè duàn jīng lì zhōng yú yòu rén cóng sī bài dé . kǎi lì nà lǐ gěi wǒ dé dào zhèng shí。 sī bài dé . kǎi lì bù jǐn jì dé kē 'ēn。 tā hái cháng cháng xiǎng zhī dào kē 'ēn hòu lái zěn me yàng liǎo。
cóng fù xì lái shuō， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn chū shēn yú niǔ yuē yī gè fēi cháng fù yòu de yóu tài jiā tíng， cóng mǔ xì lái shuō， yòu shì yī gè gǔ lǎo shì jiā de hòu yì。 wèile jìn pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué， tā zài jūn shì xué xiào bǔ xí guò， shì gāi xiào gǎn lǎn qiú duì lǐ fēi cháng chū sè de biān fēng， zài nà lǐ， méi rén shǐ tā yì shí dào zì jǐ de zhǒng zú wèn tí。 jìn pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué yǐ qián， cóng lái méi rén shǐ tā gǎn dào zì jǐ shì yī gè yóu tài rén， yīn 'ér hé qí tā rén yòu suǒ bù tóng。 tā shì gè hòu dào de nián qīng rén， shì gè hé shàn de nián qīng rén， fēi cháng miǎn tiǎn， zhè shǐ tā hěn tòng xīn。 tā zài quán jī zhōng fā xiè zhè zhǒng qíng xù， tā dài zhe tòng kǔ de zì wǒ gǎn jué hé biǎn píng de bí zǐ lí kāi pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué， pèng dào dì yī gè dài tā hǎo de gū niàn jiù jié liǎo hūn。 tā jié hūn wǔ nián， shēng liǎo sān gè hái zǐ， fù qīn liú gěi tā de wǔ wàn měi yuán jīhū huī huò dài jìn（ yí chǎn de qí yú bù fēn guī tā mǔ qīn suǒ yòu）， yóu yú hé yòu qián de qī zǐ guò zhe bù xìng de jiā tíng shēng huó， tā biàn dé lěng mò wú qíng， shǐ rén tǎo yàn； zhèng dāng tā jué xīn yí qì tā qī zǐ de shí hòu， tā què pāo qì liǎo tā， gēn yī wèi xiù zhēn rén xiàng huà jiā chū zǒu liǎo。 tā yǐ yòu hǎo jǐ gè yuè jìn kǎo lǜ zhe yào lí kāi tā de qī zǐ， yīn wéi jué dé shǐ tā shī qù tā wèi miǎn tài cán kù， suǒ yǐ méi yòu nà me zuò， yīn cǐ tā de chū zǒu duì tā dǎo shì yī cì hěn yòu lì de chōng jī。
bàn tuǒ liǎo lí hūn shǒu xù， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn dòng shēn qù xī hǎi 'àn。 zài jiā lì fú ní yà， tā tóu shēn yú wén yì jiè， yóu yú tā nà wǔ wàn měi yuán hái lüè yòu shèng yú， suǒ yǐ bù jiǔ jiù zī zhù yī jiā wén yì píng lùn zá zhì。 zhè jiā zá zhì chuàng kān yú jiā lì fú ní yà zhōu de kǎ mò 'ěr， tíng kān yú mǎ sà zhū sài zhōu de pǔ luó wén sī dūn。 kē 'ēn qǐ chū chún cuì bèi kàn zuò yī gè hòu tái lǎo bǎn， tā de míng zì gěi dēng zài fēi yè shàng zhǐ bù guò zuò wéi gù wèn zhī yī， hòu lái què chéng wéi wéi yī de biān ji liǎo。 zá zhì chū kān kào tā de qián， tā fā xiàn zì jǐ xǐ huān biān ji de zhí quán。 dāng zhè jiā zá zhì yīn kāi zhī tài dà， tā bù dé bù fàng qì zhè xiàng shì yè shí， tā gǎn dào hěn wǎn xī。
bù guò nà shí hòu， lìng wài yòu shì yào tā lái cāo xīn liǎo。 tā yǐ jīng bèi yī wèi zhǐ wàng gēn zhè jiā zá zhì yī qǐ fēi huáng téng dá de nǚ shì niē zài shǒu xīn lǐ liǎo。 tā fēi cháng jiān qiáng yòu lì， kē 'ēn shǐ zhōng méi fǎ bǎi tuō tā de zhǎng wò。 zài shuō， tā yě què xìn zì jǐ zài 'ài tā。 zhè nǚ shì fā xiàn zá zhì yǐ jīng yī juē bù zhèn shí， jiù yòu diǎn xián qì kē 'ēn， xīn xiǎng hái shì chèn yòu dōng xī kě lāo de shí hòu lāo tā yī bǎ de hǎo， suǒ yǐ tā jí lì zhù zhāng tā liǎ dào 'ōu zhōu qù， kē 'ēn zài nà lǐ kě yǐ cóng shì xiě zuò。 tā men dào liǎo tā céng zài nà lǐ niàn guò shū de 'ōu zhōu， dāi liǎo sān nián。 zhè sān nián qī jiān de dì yī nián， tā men yòng lái zài gè dì lǚ xíng， hòu liǎng nián zhù zài bā lí， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn jié shí liǎo liǎng gè péng yǒu： bù léi duō kè sī hé wǒ。 bù léi duō kè sī shì tā wén yì jiè de péng yǒu。 wǒ shì tā dǎ wǎng qiú de huǒ bàn。
zhè wèi zhǎng wò kē 'ēn de nǚ shì míng jiào fú lǎng xī sī， zài dì 'èr nián mò fā xiàn zì jǐ de zī sè rì jiàn shuāi tuì， jiù yī fǎn guò qù màn bù jīng xīn dì zhǎng wò bìng lì yòng kē 'ēn de cháng tài， duàn rán jué dìng tā bì xū qǔ tā。 zài cǐ qī jiān， luó bó tè de mǔ qīn gěi liǎo tā yī bǐ shēng huó fèi， měi gè yuè yuē sān bǎi měi yuán。 wǒ xiāng xìn zài liǎng nián bàn de shí jiān lǐ， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn méi yòu zhù yì guò bié de nǚ rén。 tā xiāng dāng xìng fú， zhǐ bù guò tóng xǔ duō zhù zài 'ōu zhōu de měi guó rén yī yàng， tā jué dé hái shì zhù zài měi guó hǎo。 tā fā xiàn zì jǐ néng xiě diǎn dōng xī。 tā xiě liǎo yī bù xiǎo shuō， suī rán xiěde hěn bù hǎo， dàn yě wán quán bù xiàng hòu lái yòu xiē píng lùn jiā suǒ shuō de nà me zāo， tā bó lǎn qún shū， wán qiáo pái， dǎ wǎng qiú， hái dào běn dì yī gè jiàn shēn fáng qù dǎ quán。 wǒ dì yī cì zhù yì dào zhè wèi nǚ shì duì kē 'ēn de tài dù shì yòu tiān wǎn shàng wǒ men sān rén yī kuài 'ér chī wán fàn zhī hòu。 wǒ men xiān zài dà mǎ lù fàn diàn chī fàn， rán hòu dào fán 'ěr sài kā fēi guǎn hē kā fēi。 hē wán kā fēi wǒ yún hē liǎo jǐ bēi bái lán dì， wǒ shuō wǒ gāi zǒu liǎo。 kē 'ēn gāng zài tán wǒ men liǎ dào shénme dì fāng qù lái yī cì zhōu mò lǚ xíng。 tā xiǎng lí kāi chéng shì hǎohǎo dì qù yuǎn zú yī fān。 wǒ jiàn yì zuò fēi jī dào sī tè lā sī bǎo， cóng nà lǐ bù xíng dào shèng 'ào dài 'ěr huò zhě 'ā 'ěr sà sī dì qū de shénme bié de dì fāng。“ wǒ zài sī tè lā sī bǎo yòu gè shú shí de gū niàn， tā kě yǐ dài wǒ men guān guāng nà zuò chéng shì，” wǒ shuō。
yòu rén zài zhuō zǐ dǐ xià tī liǎo wǒ yī jiǎo。 wǒ yǐ wéi shì wú yì zhōng pèng zhe de， suǒ yǐ jiē zhe wǎng xià shuō：“ tā zài nà lǐ yǐ jīng zhù liǎo liǎng nián， fán shì chéng lǐ nǐ xiǎng yào liǎo jiě de yī qiē tā dōuzhī dào。 tā shì wèi kě 'ài de gū niàn。”
zài zhuō zǐ xià miàn wǒ yòu 'āi liǎo yī jiǎo， wǒ yī kàn， zhǐ jiàn fú lǎng xī sī， jiù shì luó bó tè de qíng rén， juē zhe xià bā， bǎn zhe miàn kǒng ní。
“ zhēn hùn zhàng，” wǒ shuō，“ wèishénme dào sī tè lā sī bǎo qù ní？ wǒ men kě yǐ cháo běi dào bù lǔ rì huò zhě 'ā dēng sēn lín qù má。”
kē 'ēn hǎo xiàng fàng xīn liǎo。 wǒ zài yě méi yòu 'āi tī。 wǒ xiàng tā men shuō liǎo shēng wǎn 'ān jiù wǎng wài zǒu。 kē 'ēn shuō tā yào péi wǒ dào dà jiē guǎi jiǎo qù mǎi fèn bào zhǐ。“ shàng dì bǎo yòu，” tā shuō，“ nǐ tí sī tè lā sī bǎo nà wèi gū niàn gān shá 'ā？ nǐ méi kàn jiàn fú lǎng xī sī de liǎn sè？”
“ méi yòu， wǒ nǎ lǐ zhī dào？ wǒ rèn shí yī gè zhù zài sī tè lā sī bǎo de měi guó gū niàn， zhè jiū jìng guān fú lǎng xī sī shénme shì？”
“ fǎn zhèng yī yàng。 bù guǎn shì nǎ gè gū niàn。 zǒng 'ér yán zhī， wǒ bù néng qù。”
“ bié shǎ liǎo。”“ nǐ bù liǎo jiě fú lǎng xī sī。 bù guǎn shì nǎ gè gū niàn， nǐ méi kàn jiàn tā nà fù liǎn sè má？”
“ hǎo lā，” wǒ shuō，“ nà wǒ men qù sēn lì bā。”
“ bié shēng qì。”
“ wǒ bù shēng qì。 sēn lì shì gè hǎo dì fāng， wǒ men kě yǐ zhù zài mí lù dà fàn diàn， dào shù lín lǐ yuǎn zú yī cì， rán hòu huí jiā。”
“ hǎo， nà hěn yòu yì sī。”
“ hǎo， míng tiān wǎng qiú chǎng shàng jiàn，” wǒ shuō。
“ wǎn 'ān， jié kè，” tā shuō wán， huí tóu cháo kā fēi guǎn zǒu qù。
“ nǐ wàng jì mǎi bào zhǐ liǎo，” wǒ shuō。
“ zhēn de。” tā péi wǒ zǒu dào dà jiē guǎi jiǎo de bào tíng。“ nǐ zhēn de bù shēng qì， jié kè？” tā shǒu lǐ ná zhe bào zhǐ zhuǎn shēn wèn。
“ bù， wǒ gànmá shēng qì ní？”
“ wǎng qiú chǎng shàng jiàn，” tā shuō。 wǒ kàn zhe tā shǒu lǐ ná zhe bào zhǐ zǒu huí kā fēi guǎn。 wǒ tǐng xǐ huān tā， kě fú lǎng xī sī xiǎn rán nòng dé tā de rì zǐ hěn bù hǎo guò。
I mistrust all frank and simple people, especially when their stories hold together, and I always had a suspicion that perhaps Robert Cohn had never been middleweight boxing champion, and that perhaps a horse had stepped on his face, or that maybe his mother had been frightened or seen something, or that he had, maybe, bumped into something as a young child, but I finally had somebody verify the story from Spider Kelly. Spider Kelly not only remembered Cohn. He had often wondered what had become of him.
Robert Cohn was a member, through his father, of one of the richest Jewish families in New York, and through his mother of one of the oldest. At the military school where he prepped for Princeton, and played a very good end on the football team, no one had made him race-conscious. No one had ever made him feel he was a Jew, and hence any different from anybody else, until he went to Princeton. He was a nice boy, a friendly boy, and very shy, and it made him bitter. He took it out in boxing, and he came out of Princeton with painful self-consciousness and the flattened nose, and was married by the first girl who was nice to him. He was married five years, had three children, lost most of the fifty thousand dollars his father left him, the balance of the estate having gone to his mother, hardened into a rather unattractive mould under domestic unhappiness with a rich wife; and just when he had made up his mind to leave his wife she left him and went off with a miniature-painter. As he had been thinking for months about leaving his wife and had not done it because it would be too cruel to deprive her of himself, her departure was a very healthful shock.
The divorce was arranged and Robert Cohn went out to the Coast. In California he fell among literary people and, as he still had a little of the fifty thousand left, in a short time he was backing a review of the Arts. The review commenced publication in Carmel, California, and finished in Provincetown, Massachusetts. By that time Cohn, who had been regarded purely as an angel, and whose name had appeared on the editorial page merely as a member of the advisory board, had become the sole editor. It was his money and he discovered he liked the authority of editing. He was sorry when the magazine became too expensive and he had to give it up.
By that time, though, he had other things to worry about. He had been taken in hand by a lady who hoped to rise with the magazine. She was very forceful, and Cohn never had a chance of not being taken in hand. Also he was sure that he loved her. When this lady saw that the magazine was not going to rise, she became a little disgusted with Cohn and decided that she might as well get what there was to get while there was still something available, so she urged that they go to Europe, where Cohn could write. They came to Europe, where the lady had been educated, and stayed three years. During these three years, the first spent in travel, the last two in Paris, Robert Cohn had two friends, Braddocks and myself. Braddocks was his literary friend. I was his tennis friend.
The lady who had him, her name was Frances, found toward the end of the second year that her looks were going, and her attitude toward Robert changed from one of careless possession and exploitation to the absolute determination that he should marry her. During this time Robert's mother had settled an allowance on him, about three hundred dollars a month. During two years and a half I do not believe that Robert Cohn looked at another woman. He was fairly happy, except that, like many people living in Europe, he would rather have been in America, and he had discovered writing. He wrote a novel, and it was not really such a bad novel as the critics later called it, although it was a very poor novel. He read many books, played bridge, played tennis, and boxed at a local gymnasium.
I first became aware of his lady's attitude toward him one night after the three of us had dined together. We had dined at l'Avenue's and afterward went to the Caf?de Versailles for coffee. We had several _fines_ after the coffee, and I said I must be going. Cohn had been talking about the two of us going off somewhere on a weekend trip. He wanted to get out of town and get in a good walk. I suggested we fly to Strasbourg and walk up to Saint Odile, or somewhere or other in Alsace. "I know a girl in Strasbourg who can show us the town," I said.
Somebody kicked me under the table. I thought it was accidental and went on: "She's been there two years and knows everything there is to know about the town. She's a swell girl."
I was kicked again under the table and, looking, saw Frances, Robert's lady, her chin lifting and her face hardening.
"Hell," I said, "why go to Strasbourg? We could go up to Bruges, or to the Ardennes."
Cohn looked relieved. I was not kicked again. I said good-night and went out. Cohn said he wanted to buy a paper and would walk to the corner with me. "For God's sake," he said, "why did you say that about that girl in Strasbourg for? Didn't you see Frances?"
"No, why should I? If I know an American girl that lives in Strasbourg what the hell is it to Frances?"
"It doesn't make any difference. Any girl. I couldn't go, that would be all."
"Don't be silly."
"You don't know Frances. Any girl at all. Didn't you see the way she looked?"
"Oh, well," I said, "let's go to Senlis."
"Don't get sore."
"I'm not sore. Senlis is a good place and we can stay at the Grand Cerf and take a hike in the woods and come home."
"Good, that will be fine."
"Well, I'll see you to-morrow at the courts," I said.
"Good-night, Jake," he said, and started back to the caf?
"You forgot to get your paper," I said.
"That's so." He walked with me up to the kiosque at the corner. "You are not sore, are you, Jake?" He turned with the paper in his hand.
"No, why should I be?"
"See you at tennis," he said. I watched him walk back to the caf?holding his paper. I rather liked him and evidently she led him quite a life.
wǒ duì suǒ yòu tǎn shuài、 pǔ shí de rén xiàng lái xìn bù guò， yóu qí shì dāng tā men jiǎng de shì méi yòu lòu dòng de shí hòu， yīn cǐ wǒ shǐ zhōng huái yí luó bó tè . kē 'ēn dà gài cóng lái yě méi dāng guò zhōng liàng jí quán jī guànjūn， yě xǔ yòu pǐ mǎ céng cǎi guò tā de liǎn， yào bù， yě xǔ tā mǔ qīn huái tāi shí shòu guò jīng xià huò zhě kàn jiàn guò shénme guài wù， yào bù， yě xǔ tā xiǎo shí hòu céng zhuàng zài shénme dōng xī shàng， bù guò tā zhè duàn jīng lì zhōng yú yòu rén cóng sī bài dé . kǎi lì nà lǐ gěi wǒ dé dào zhèng shí。 sī bài dé . kǎi lì bù jǐn jì dé kē 'ēn。 tā hái cháng cháng xiǎng zhī dào kē 'ēn hòu lái zěn me yàng liǎo。
cóng fù xì lái shuō， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn chū shēn yú niǔ yuē yī gè fēi cháng fù yòu de yóu tài jiā tíng， cóng mǔ xì lái shuō， yòu shì yī gè gǔ lǎo shì jiā de hòu yì。 wèile jìn pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué， tā zài jūn shì xué xiào bǔ xí guò， shì gāi xiào gǎn lǎn qiú duì lǐ fēi cháng chū sè de biān fēng， zài nà lǐ， méi rén shǐ tā yì shí dào zì jǐ de zhǒng zú wèn tí。 jìn pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué yǐ qián， cóng lái méi rén shǐ tā gǎn dào zì jǐ shì yī gè yóu tài rén， yīn 'ér hé qí tā rén yòu suǒ bù tóng。 tā shì gè hòu dào de nián qīng rén， shì gè hé shàn de nián qīng rén， fēi cháng miǎn tiǎn， zhè shǐ tā hěn tòng xīn。 tā zài quán jī zhōng fā xiè zhè zhǒng qíng xù， tā dài zhe tòng kǔ de zì wǒ gǎn jué hé biǎn píng de bí zǐ lí kāi pǔ lín sī dùn dà xué， pèng dào dì yī gè dài tā hǎo de gū niàn jiù jié liǎo hūn。 tā jié hūn wǔ nián， shēng liǎo sān gè hái zǐ， fù qīn liú gěi tā de wǔ wàn měi yuán jīhū huī huò dài jìn（ yí chǎn de qí yú bù fēn guī tā mǔ qīn suǒ yòu）， yóu yú hé yòu qián de qī zǐ guò zhe bù xìng de jiā tíng shēng huó， tā biàn dé lěng mò wú qíng， shǐ rén tǎo yàn； zhèng dāng tā jué xīn yí qì tā qī zǐ de shí hòu， tā què pāo qì liǎo tā， gēn yī wèi xiù zhēn rén xiàng huà jiā chū zǒu liǎo。 tā yǐ yòu hǎo jǐ gè yuè jìn kǎo lǜ zhe yào lí kāi tā de qī zǐ， yīn wéi jué dé shǐ tā shī qù tā wèi miǎn tài cán kù， suǒ yǐ méi yòu nà me zuò， yīn cǐ tā de chū zǒu duì tā dǎo shì yī cì hěn yòu lì de chōng jī。
bàn tuǒ liǎo lí hūn shǒu xù， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn dòng shēn qù xī hǎi 'àn。 zài jiā lì fú ní yà， tā tóu shēn yú wén yì jiè， yóu yú tā nà wǔ wàn měi yuán hái lüè yòu shèng yú， suǒ yǐ bù jiǔ jiù zī zhù yī jiā wén yì píng lùn zá zhì。 zhè jiā zá zhì chuàng kān yú jiā lì fú ní yà zhōu de kǎ mò 'ěr， tíng kān yú mǎ sà zhū sài zhōu de pǔ luó wén sī dūn。 kē 'ēn qǐ chū chún cuì bèi kàn zuò yī gè hòu tái lǎo bǎn， tā de míng zì gěi dēng zài fēi yè shàng zhǐ bù guò zuò wéi gù wèn zhī yī， hòu lái què chéng wéi wéi yī de biān ji liǎo。 zá zhì chū kān kào tā de qián， tā fā xiàn zì jǐ xǐ huān biān ji de zhí quán。 dāng zhè jiā zá zhì yīn kāi zhī tài dà， tā bù dé bù fàng qì zhè xiàng shì yè shí， tā gǎn dào hěn wǎn xī。
bù guò nà shí hòu， lìng wài yòu shì yào tā lái cāo xīn liǎo。 tā yǐ jīng bèi yī wèi zhǐ wàng gēn zhè jiā zá zhì yī qǐ fēi huáng téng dá de nǚ shì niē zài shǒu xīn lǐ liǎo。 tā fēi cháng jiān qiáng yòu lì， kē 'ēn shǐ zhōng méi fǎ bǎi tuō tā de zhǎng wò。 zài shuō， tā yě què xìn zì jǐ zài 'ài tā。 zhè nǚ shì fā xiàn zá zhì yǐ jīng yī juē bù zhèn shí， jiù yòu diǎn xián qì kē 'ēn， xīn xiǎng hái shì chèn yòu dōng xī kě lāo de shí hòu lāo tā yī bǎ de hǎo， suǒ yǐ tā jí lì zhù zhāng tā liǎ dào 'ōu zhōu qù， kē 'ēn zài nà lǐ kě yǐ cóng shì xiě zuò。 tā men dào liǎo tā céng zài nà lǐ niàn guò shū de 'ōu zhōu， dāi liǎo sān nián。 zhè sān nián qī jiān de dì yī nián， tā men yòng lái zài gè dì lǚ xíng， hòu liǎng nián zhù zài bā lí， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn jié shí liǎo liǎng gè péng yǒu： bù léi duō kè sī hé wǒ。 bù léi duō kè sī shì tā wén yì jiè de péng yǒu。 wǒ shì tā dǎ wǎng qiú de huǒ bàn。
zhè wèi zhǎng wò kē 'ēn de nǚ shì míng jiào fú lǎng xī sī， zài dì 'èr nián mò fā xiàn zì jǐ de zī sè rì jiàn shuāi tuì， jiù yī fǎn guò qù màn bù jīng xīn dì zhǎng wò bìng lì yòng kē 'ēn de cháng tài， duàn rán jué dìng tā bì xū qǔ tā。 zài cǐ qī jiān， luó bó tè de mǔ qīn gěi liǎo tā yī bǐ shēng huó fèi， měi gè yuè yuē sān bǎi měi yuán。 wǒ xiāng xìn zài liǎng nián bàn de shí jiān lǐ， luó bó tè . kē 'ēn méi yòu zhù yì guò bié de nǚ rén。 tā xiāng dāng xìng fú， zhǐ bù guò tóng xǔ duō zhù zài 'ōu zhōu de měi guó rén yī yàng， tā jué dé hái shì zhù zài měi guó hǎo。 tā fā xiàn zì jǐ néng xiě diǎn dōng xī。 tā xiě liǎo yī bù xiǎo shuō， suī rán xiěde hěn bù hǎo， dàn yě wán quán bù xiàng hòu lái yòu xiē píng lùn jiā suǒ shuō de nà me zāo， tā bó lǎn qún shū， wán qiáo pái， dǎ wǎng qiú， hái dào běn dì yī gè jiàn shēn fáng qù dǎ quán。 wǒ dì yī cì zhù yì dào zhè wèi nǚ shì duì kē 'ēn de tài dù shì yòu tiān wǎn shàng wǒ men sān rén yī kuài 'ér chī wán fàn zhī hòu。 wǒ men xiān zài dà mǎ lù fàn diàn chī fàn， rán hòu dào fán 'ěr sài kā fēi guǎn hē kā fēi。 hē wán kā fēi wǒ yún hē liǎo jǐ bēi bái lán dì， wǒ shuō wǒ gāi zǒu liǎo。 kē 'ēn gāng zài tán wǒ men liǎ dào shénme dì fāng qù lái yī cì zhōu mò lǚ xíng。 tā xiǎng lí kāi chéng shì hǎohǎo dì qù yuǎn zú yī fān。 wǒ jiàn yì zuò fēi jī dào sī tè lā sī bǎo， cóng nà lǐ bù xíng dào shèng 'ào dài 'ěr huò zhě 'ā 'ěr sà sī dì qū de shénme bié de dì fāng。“ wǒ zài sī tè lā sī bǎo yòu gè shú shí de gū niàn， tā kě yǐ dài wǒ men guān guāng nà zuò chéng shì，” wǒ shuō。
yòu rén zài zhuō zǐ dǐ xià tī liǎo wǒ yī jiǎo。 wǒ yǐ wéi shì wú yì zhōng pèng zhe de， suǒ yǐ jiē zhe wǎng xià shuō：“ tā zài nà lǐ yǐ jīng zhù liǎo liǎng nián， fán shì chéng lǐ nǐ xiǎng yào liǎo jiě de yī qiē tā dōuzhī dào。 tā shì wèi kě 'ài de gū niàn。”
zài zhuō zǐ xià miàn wǒ yòu 'āi liǎo yī jiǎo， wǒ yī kàn， zhǐ jiàn fú lǎng xī sī， jiù shì luó bó tè de qíng rén， juē zhe xià bā， bǎn zhe miàn kǒng ní。
“ zhēn hùn zhàng，” wǒ shuō，“ wèishénme dào sī tè lā sī bǎo qù ní？ wǒ men kě yǐ cháo běi dào bù lǔ rì huò zhě 'ā dēng sēn lín qù má。”
kē 'ēn hǎo xiàng fàng xīn liǎo。 wǒ zài yě méi yòu 'āi tī。 wǒ xiàng tā men shuō liǎo shēng wǎn 'ān jiù wǎng wài zǒu。 kē 'ēn shuō tā yào péi wǒ dào dà jiē guǎi jiǎo qù mǎi fèn bào zhǐ。“ shàng dì bǎo yòu，” tā shuō，“ nǐ tí sī tè lā sī bǎo nà wèi gū niàn gān shá 'ā？ nǐ méi kàn jiàn fú lǎng xī sī de liǎn sè？”
“ méi yòu， wǒ nǎ lǐ zhī dào？ wǒ rèn shí yī gè zhù zài sī tè lā sī bǎo de měi guó gū niàn， zhè jiū jìng guān fú lǎng xī sī shénme shì？”
“ fǎn zhèng yī yàng。 bù guǎn shì nǎ gè gū niàn。 zǒng 'ér yán zhī， wǒ bù néng qù。”
“ bié shǎ liǎo。”“ nǐ bù liǎo jiě fú lǎng xī sī。 bù guǎn shì nǎ gè gū niàn， nǐ méi kàn jiàn tā nà fù liǎn sè má？”
“ hǎo lā，” wǒ shuō，“ nà wǒ men qù sēn lì bā。”
“ bié shēng qì。”
“ wǒ bù shēng qì。 sēn lì shì gè hǎo dì fāng， wǒ men kě yǐ zhù zài mí lù dà fàn diàn， dào shù lín lǐ yuǎn zú yī cì， rán hòu huí jiā。”
“ hǎo， nà hěn yòu yì sī。”
“ hǎo， míng tiān wǎng qiú chǎng shàng jiàn，” wǒ shuō。
“ wǎn 'ān， jié kè，” tā shuō wán， huí tóu cháo kā fēi guǎn zǒu qù。
“ nǐ wàng jì mǎi bào zhǐ liǎo，” wǒ shuō。
“ zhēn de。” tā péi wǒ zǒu dào dà jiē guǎi jiǎo de bào tíng。“ nǐ zhēn de bù shēng qì， jié kè？” tā shǒu lǐ ná zhe bào zhǐ zhuǎn shēn wèn。
“ bù， wǒ gànmá shēng qì ní？”
“ wǎng qiú chǎng shàng jiàn，” tā shuō。 wǒ kàn zhe tā shǒu lǐ ná zhe bào zhǐ zǒu huí kā fēi guǎn。 wǒ tǐng xǐ huān tā， kě fú lǎng xī sī xiǎn rán nòng dé tā de rì zǐ hěn bù hǎo guò。
I mistrust all frank and simple people, especially when their stories hold together, and I always had a suspicion that perhaps Robert Cohn had never been middleweight boxing champion, and that perhaps a horse had stepped on his face, or that maybe his mother had been frightened or seen something, or that he had, maybe, bumped into something as a young child, but I finally had somebody verify the story from Spider Kelly. Spider Kelly not only remembered Cohn. He had often wondered what had become of him.
Robert Cohn was a member, through his father, of one of the richest Jewish families in New York, and through his mother of one of the oldest. At the military school where he prepped for Princeton, and played a very good end on the football team, no one had made him race-conscious. No one had ever made him feel he was a Jew, and hence any different from anybody else, until he went to Princeton. He was a nice boy, a friendly boy, and very shy, and it made him bitter. He took it out in boxing, and he came out of Princeton with painful self-consciousness and the flattened nose, and was married by the first girl who was nice to him. He was married five years, had three children, lost most of the fifty thousand dollars his father left him, the balance of the estate having gone to his mother, hardened into a rather unattractive mould under domestic unhappiness with a rich wife; and just when he had made up his mind to leave his wife she left him and went off with a miniature-painter. As he had been thinking for months about leaving his wife and had not done it because it would be too cruel to deprive her of himself, her departure was a very healthful shock.
The divorce was arranged and Robert Cohn went out to the Coast. In California he fell among literary people and, as he still had a little of the fifty thousand left, in a short time he was backing a review of the Arts. The review commenced publication in Carmel, California, and finished in Provincetown, Massachusetts. By that time Cohn, who had been regarded purely as an angel, and whose name had appeared on the editorial page merely as a member of the advisory board, had become the sole editor. It was his money and he discovered he liked the authority of editing. He was sorry when the magazine became too expensive and he had to give it up.
By that time, though, he had other things to worry about. He had been taken in hand by a lady who hoped to rise with the magazine. She was very forceful, and Cohn never had a chance of not being taken in hand. Also he was sure that he loved her. When this lady saw that the magazine was not going to rise, she became a little disgusted with Cohn and decided that she might as well get what there was to get while there was still something available, so she urged that they go to Europe, where Cohn could write. They came to Europe, where the lady had been educated, and stayed three years. During these three years, the first spent in travel, the last two in Paris, Robert Cohn had two friends, Braddocks and myself. Braddocks was his literary friend. I was his tennis friend.
The lady who had him, her name was Frances, found toward the end of the second year that her looks were going, and her attitude toward Robert changed from one of careless possession and exploitation to the absolute determination that he should marry her. During this time Robert's mother had settled an allowance on him, about three hundred dollars a month. During two years and a half I do not believe that Robert Cohn looked at another woman. He was fairly happy, except that, like many people living in Europe, he would rather have been in America, and he had discovered writing. He wrote a novel, and it was not really such a bad novel as the critics later called it, although it was a very poor novel. He read many books, played bridge, played tennis, and boxed at a local gymnasium.
I first became aware of his lady's attitude toward him one night after the three of us had dined together. We had dined at l'Avenue's and afterward went to the Caf?de Versailles for coffee. We had several _fines_ after the coffee, and I said I must be going. Cohn had been talking about the two of us going off somewhere on a weekend trip. He wanted to get out of town and get in a good walk. I suggested we fly to Strasbourg and walk up to Saint Odile, or somewhere or other in Alsace. "I know a girl in Strasbourg who can show us the town," I said.
Somebody kicked me under the table. I thought it was accidental and went on: "She's been there two years and knows everything there is to know about the town. She's a swell girl."
I was kicked again under the table and, looking, saw Frances, Robert's lady, her chin lifting and her face hardening.
"Hell," I said, "why go to Strasbourg? We could go up to Bruges, or to the Ardennes."
Cohn looked relieved. I was not kicked again. I said good-night and went out. Cohn said he wanted to buy a paper and would walk to the corner with me. "For God's sake," he said, "why did you say that about that girl in Strasbourg for? Didn't you see Frances?"
"No, why should I? If I know an American girl that lives in Strasbourg what the hell is it to Frances?"
"It doesn't make any difference. Any girl. I couldn't go, that would be all."
"Don't be silly."
"You don't know Frances. Any girl at all. Didn't you see the way she looked?"
"Oh, well," I said, "let's go to Senlis."
"Don't get sore."
"I'm not sore. Senlis is a good place and we can stay at the Grand Cerf and take a hike in the woods and come home."
"Good, that will be fine."
"Well, I'll see you to-morrow at the courts," I said.
"Good-night, Jake," he said, and started back to the caf?
"You forgot to get your paper," I said.
"That's so." He walked with me up to the kiosque at the corner. "You are not sore, are you, Jake?" He turned with the paper in his hand.
"No, why should I be?"
"See you at tennis," he said. I watched him walk back to the caf?holding his paper. I rather liked him and evidently she led him quite a life.