yī bā XX nián bā yuè shí 'èr rì …… yě jiù shì wǒ guò shí suì shēng rì， dé dào nà me zhēn qí de lǐ pǐn yǐ hòu de dì sān tiān， zǎo chén qī diǎn zhōng， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí yòng gùn zǐ shàng bǎng zhe táng zhǐ zuò de yíng pāi jiù zài wǒ de tóu shàng miàn dǎ cāng yíng， bǎ wǒ jīng xǐng liǎo。 tā dǎ dé nà me bèn， bù dàn pèng zhe liǎo guà zài zuò mù chuáng jià shàng de wǒ de shǒu hù shén de shèng xiàng， ér qiě ràng sǐ cāng yíng yī zhí luò dào wǒ de nǎo dài shàng。 wǒ cóng bèi zǐ xià miàn shēn chū bí zǐ， yòng shǒu fú wěn hái zài yáo bǎi de shèng xiàng， bǎ nà zhǐ sǐ cāng yíng rēng dào dì bǎn shàng， yòng suī rán shuì yì xīng lùn、 què hán zhe nù yì de yǎn guāng kàn liǎo kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí yī yǎn。 tā ní， shēn shàng chuānzhuó huā bù mián páo， yāo lǐ shù zhe tóng yàng liào zǐ zuò de yāo dài， tóu shàng dài zhe hóng máo xiàn zhì de dài yīng xiǎo yuán mào， jiǎo shàng chuānzhuó shān yáng pí xuē， jì xù shùn zhe qiáng biān zǒu lái zǒu qù， chǒu zhǔn cāng yíng， pā pā dì dǎzháo。
“ jiù suàn wǒ xiǎo bā，” wǒ xiǎng，“ kě shì， tā wèishénme piān piān yào jīng dòng wǒ ní？ tā wèishénme bù zài wò luò jiā de chuáng biān dǎ cāng yíng ní ①？ nín qiáo， nà biān yòu duō shǎo 'ā！ bù， wò luò jiā bǐ wǒ dà； wǒ nián jì zuì xiǎo， suǒ yǐ tā jiù ràng wǒ chī kǔ tóu。 tā yī bèi zǐ jìng zhuó mó zhe zěn me jiào wǒ bù tòng kuài。” wǒ dī shēng shuō。“ tā míng míng kàn jiàn， tā bǎ wǒ nòng xǐng liǎo， xià liǎo wǒ yī tiào， què yìng zhuāng zuò méi yòu zhù yì dào de yàng zǐ…… tǎo yàn de jiā huǒ！ lián mián páo、 xiǎo mào、 mào yīng， dū tǎo yàn sǐ liǎo！”
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① wò luò jiā： fú lā jī mǐ 'ěr de xiǎo míng。
dāng wǒ xīn lǐ zhè yàng nǎo hèn kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de shí hòu， tā zǒu dào zì jǐ de chuáng qián， wàng liǎo wàng guà zài chuáng tóu、 xiāng zhe xiǎo bō lí zhū de zhōng zuò shàng de zhōng， rán hòu bǎ yíng pāi guà dào xiǎo dīng shàng， dài zhe yī zhǒng xiǎn rán hěn yú kuài de xīn qíng xiàng wǒ men zhuǎn guò shēn lái。
“ Auf， kinden， auf！…… s ’ istZeit ． DieMutteristschonimSaal！”① tā yòng dé guó kǒu yīn hé yán yuè sè dì hǎn dào， rán hòu cháo wǒ zǒu guò lái， zuò dào wǒ de chuáng biān， cóng yī dài lǐ tāo chū bí yān hú。 wǒ jiǎ zhuāng zài shuì jué。 kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí xiān huàn liǎo yī cuō bí yān， cā liǎo cā bí zǐ， tánliǎo dàn shǒu zhǐ， rán hòu cái lái shōu shí wǒ。 tā yī biān xiào zhe， yī biān kāi shǐ sāo wǒ de jiǎo hòu gēn。“ Nu， nun， Faulenzer！” ② tā shuō。
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①“ Auf， kinden， auf！…… s’ istZeitDieMutteristschonimSaa！”： dé yǔ“ qǐ lái， hái zǐ men， qǐ lái…… dào shí hòu liǎo， mā mā yǐ jīng zài fàn tīng lǐ liǎo。”
②“ Nu， nun， Faulenzer！”： dé yǔ“ wèi， wèi， lǎn gǔ tóu。”
jìn guǎn wǒ pà yǎng， wǒ hái shì méi yòu cóng chuáng shàng tiào qǐ lái， yě méi yòu lǐ cǎi tā， zhǐ shì bǎ tóu gèng wǎng zhěn tóu lǐ zuàn． pàn mìng tī dèng， jié lì rěn zhù bù xiào chū lái。
“ tā duō shàn liáng， duō xǐ huān wǒ men， kě shì wǒ què bǎ tā xiǎng dé nà me huài！”
wǒ zì jǐ hěn nán guò， yě tì kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí nán guò； wǒ yòu xiǎng xiào， yòu xiǎng kū， xīn lǐ hěn luàn。
“ Ach， lassen， Sie，① kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí！” wǒ yǎn lèi wāng wāng dì hǎn zhe， bǎ tóu cóng zhěn tóu dǐ xià shēn chū lái。
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①“ Ach， lassenSie”： dé yǔ“ wèi， bié pèng wǒ。”
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí chī liǎo yī jīng， fàng kāi wǒ de jiǎo， bù 'ān dì wèn wǒ dào dǐ shì zěn me huí shì？ shì bù shì zuò liǎo shénme 'è mèng？…… tā nà cí xiáng de dé guó rén de miàn kǒng、 tā nà jié lì yào cāi chū wǒ wèishénme liú lèi de guān zhù shén qíng， gèng shǐ wǒ lèi rú yǔ xià liǎo： wǒ hěn cán kuì， ér qiě bù míng bái zài yī fēn zhōng zhī qián， wǒ zěn me jū rán néng bù xǐ huān kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí， rèn wéi tā de mián páo、 xiǎo mào hé mào yīng tǎo yàn ní？ xiàn zài， qià hǎo xiāng fǎn， wǒ jué dé zhè xiē dōng xī dū fēi cháng kě 'ài， lián mào yīng dū sì hū chéng liǎo tā hěn shàn liáng de zhèng míng。 wǒ duì tā shuō， wǒ kū， shì yīn wéi wǒ zuò liǎo yī gè 'è mèng， mèng jiàn mā mā sǐ liǎo， rén men tái zhe tā qù xià zàng。 zhè wán quán shì wǒ píng kōng biān zào de， yīn wéi wǒ yī diǎn yě bù jì dé yè lǐ zuò liǎo shénme mèng。 dàn shì， dāng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bèi wǒ de huǎng huà suǒ dǎ dòng， kāi shǐ 'ān wèi wǒ、 fǔ 'ài wǒ de shí hòu， wǒ què jué dé zì jǐ zhēn dì zuò liǎo nà chǎng 'è mèng， yīn cǐ wéi lìng wài de yuán yīn luò qǐ lèi lái liǎo。
dāng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí lí kāi wǒ de shí hòu， wǒ cóng chuáng shàng tái qǐ shēn zǐ， wǎng zì jǐ de xiǎo jiǎo shàng chuān cháng tǒng wà zǐ， zhè shí yǎn lèi bù zěn me liú liǎo， dàn shì wǒ suǒ xū gòu de nà chǎng 'è mèng de yīn yù de xiǎng fǎ， què réng rán yíng rào zài wǒ de nǎo hǎi lǐ。 zhào liào hái zǐ de ní gǔ lā jìn lái liǎo， tā shì yī gè shēn cái 'ǎi xiǎo、 àihào zhěng jié de rén， yī xiàng yán sù rèn zhēn， bīn bīn yòu lǐ， shì kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de hǎo péng yǒu。 tā gěi wǒ men sòng lái yī fú hé xié； gěi wò luò jiā ná lái de shì xuē zǐ， gěi wǒ ná lái de què shì wǒ zhì jīn hái tǎo yàn de dǎzháo huā jié de xié。 wǒ bù hǎo yì sī dāng zhe tā de miàn kū qì； kuàng qiě， cháo yáng yú kuài dì cóng chuāng kǒu shè jìn lái， wò luò jiā yòu zhàn zài liǎn pén jià qián miàn， hěn huá jī dì mó fǎng mǎ lì yǎ · yī fán nuò fú nà（ jiě jiě de nǚ jiā tíng jiào shī）， xiàode nà me kāi xīn， nà me xiǎng liàng， lián jiān tóu dā zhe máo jīn、 yī shǒu ná zhe féi zào、 yī shǒu tí zháoshuǐ hú de yī běn zhèng jīng de ní gǔ lā dū xiào zhe shuō：
“ dé liǎo， fèi lā jī mǐ 'ěr · bǐ dé luó wéi qí， qǐng xǐ liǎn bā。”
wǒ shí fēn kuài huó liǎo。
“ Sindsiebaldfertig？”① cóng jiào shì lǐ chuán lái kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de shēng
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①“ Sindsiebaldfereig？”： dé yǔ“ nǐ men kuài zhǔn bèi hǎo liǎo má？”
tā de shēng yīn yán lì， yǐ jīng méi yòu shǐ wǒ gǎn dòng dé luò lèi de yīn diào liǎo。 zài jiào shì lǐ， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí wán quán shì lìng wài yī gè rén liǎo， tā shì lǎo shī。 wǒ yìng shēng 'ér lái， lián máng chuān shàng yī fú， xǐ hǎo liǎn， shǒu lǐ hái ná zhe shuà zǐ， yī biān fǔ píng wǒ de shī lù lù de tóu fā， yī biān zǒu jìn jiào shì。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bí liáng shàng jià zhuóyǎn jìng， shǒu lǐ ná zhe yī běn shū， zuò zài mén chuāng zhī jiān tā yī xiàng zuò de dì fāng。 mén zuǒ biān bǎi zhe liǎng gè xiǎo shū jià： yī gè shì wǒ men hái zǐ men de， lìng wài yī gè shì kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí sī rén de。 wǒ men de shū jià shàng bǎi zhe gè zhǒng gè yàng de shū héng héng yòu jiào kē shū， yě yòu kè wài dú wù。 yòu xiē shù zhe， yòu xiē píng fàng zhe， zhǐ yòu liǎng dàjuǎn hóng fēng miàn de《 Histoiredesvoyages》① guī guīju jǔ kào qiáng shù zhe， rán hòu shì cháng cháng de、 hòu hòu de、 dà dà xiǎo xiǎo de shū jí， yòu de yòu fēng pí méi shū， yòu de yòu shū méi fēng pí。 měi dāng kè jiān xiū xī yǐ qián， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí jiù fēn fù wǒ men zhěng lǐ“ tú shū guǎn”（ kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí kuā dà qí cí dì bǎ zhè gè xiǎo shū jià chēng zuò“ tú shū guǎn”） de shí hòu， wǒ men zǒng shì bǎ yī qiē dōng xī wǎng nà lǐ luàn sài。 lǎo shī sī rén shū jià shàng de cáng shū， suī rán cè shù méi yòu wǒ men shū jià shàng de nà me duō， zhǒng lèi què wǔ huā bā mén。 wǒ hái jì dé qí zhōng de sān cè： yī běn shì méi yòu yìng fēng pí de dé wén xiǎo cè zǐ， nèi róng jiǎng zài bái cài dì lǐ shī féi de fāng fǎ； yī běn shì yáng pí zhǐ de、 shāo diào liǎo yī jiǎo de qī nián zhàn zhēng shǐ； lìng yī běn shì jìng tǐ lì xué quán bù jiào chéng。 kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bǎ dà bù fēn shí jiān dū xiāo mó zài dú shū shàng， shèn zhì yīn cǐ sǔn shāng liǎo shì lì； bù guò， chú liǎo zhè xiē shū hé《 běi fāng mì fēng》 zá zhì yǐ wài， tā shénme dōubù kàn。
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①《 Histoiredesvoyages》：《 yóu jì》（ fǎ yǔ）
zài kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de xiǎo shū jià shàng suǒ yòu de dōng xī zhōng jiān， yòu yī jiàn dōng xī zuì néng shǐ wǒ xiǎng qǐ tā lái。 nà jiù shì yī zhǐ yòng zhǐ bǎn zuò de yuán pán， tā 'ān zhe mù tuǐ， kě yǐ jiè zhe mù dīng yí dòng。 yuán pán shàng tiē zhe yī zhāng màn huà， shàng miàn huà zhe yī gè guì fù hé yī gè lǐfà shī。 kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí nián hěn dé hǎo， zhè gè yuán pán yě shì tā zì jǐ shè jì de yī zuò zhè gè yuán pán de mùdì shì wèile zhē zhù dà liàng de guāng xiàn， bǎo hù zì jǐ de shì lì shuāi tuì de yǎn jīng。
jiù shì xiàn zài， wǒ fǎng fó hái néng kàn jiàn tā de shēn yǐng héng héng gāo gāo de gè 'ér， chuānzhuó mián páo， dài zhe hóng sè xiǎo mào， mào zǐ xià miàn lù chū xī shū de báifà。 tā zuò zài yī zhāng xiǎo zhuō bàng biān， zhuō shàng bǎi zhe nà zhǐ yuán pán， yuán pán shàng de lǐfà shī bǎ yīn yǐng tóu shè dào tā de liǎn shàng； kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí yī zhǐ shǒu ná zhe shū， lìng yī zhǐ shǒu dā zài 'ān lè yǐ de fú shǒu shàng， miàn qián fàng zhe yī zhǐ biǎo pán shàng huà zhe liè rén de zhōng、 yī kuài fāng gé shǒu pà、 yī gè yuán xíng de hēi bí yān hú、 yī zhǐ lǜ sè yǎn jìng hé hé bǎi zài xiǎo tuō pán lǐ de yī bǎ jiǎn zhú huā de jiǎn dāo。 zhè yī qiē dōng xī dū nà me guī guīju jǔ、 zhěng zhěng qí qí dì bǎi zài gè zì de wèi zhì shàng， dān píng zhe zhè zhǒng bìng jǐng yòu tiáo de zhì xù， jiù kě yǐ duàn dìng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí xīn dì chún jié， xīn píng qì hé。
píng cháng。 dāng wǒ zài lóu xià dà tīng lǐ páo gòu liǎo de shí hòu， wǒ zǒng shì diǎn zhe jiǎo qiāoqiāo dì shàng lóu， páo jìn jiào shì， nà shí hòu wǒ zǒng shì fā xiàn， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí zhèng dú zì yī rén zuò zài 'ān lè yǐ shàng， shén qíng 'ān xiáng 'ér zhuāng yán dì yuè dú tā xǐ 'ài de yī běn shénme shū。 yòu shí yě yù dào tā bù zài dú shū。 zhè shí tā zǒng bǎ yǎn jìng dī dī dì jià zài dà yīng gōu bí shàng， bàn zhēng bàn bì de lán yǎn jīng lǐ hán zhe yī zhǒng tè shū de biǎo qíng， zuǐ chún yōu yù dì wēi xiào zhe。 fáng jiān lǐ jìng qiǎo qiǎo de， zhǐ tīng dé jiàn tā de jūn yún hū xī shēng hé nà kuài huà zhe liè rén de zhōng dí dā zuò xiǎng。
tā cháng cháng méi yòu fā xiàn wǒ， wǒ jiù zhàn zài mén biān xiǎng：“ kě lián de， kě lián de lǎo tóu 'ér！ wǒ men rén duō， wǒ men wán yā， lè yā， kě shì tā gū líng líng yī gè， méi yòu rèn hé rén 'ān wèi tā。 tā shuō zì jǐ shì gū 'ér， zhēn shì yī diǎn yě bù cuò。 tā de shēn shì duō me kě pà yā！ wǒ jì dé tā duì ní gǔ lā jiǎng guò zì jǐ de shēn shì。 tā de chǔjìng zhēn shì kě pà yā！” wǒ fēi cháng kě lián tā， yīn cǐ cháng cháng zǒu dào tā gēn qián， lā zhù tā de yī zhǐ shǒu shuō：“ Lieber kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí①！” tā hěn xǐ huān wǒ zhè me duì tā shuō huà。 měi dāng zhè zhǒng shí kè， tā zǒng yào fǔ mō wǒ， xiǎn rán tā shēn shēn dì shòu liǎo gǎn dòng。
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① Lieber： qīn 'ài de（ dé yǔ）
lìng yī miàn qiáng shàng guà zhe jǐ fú dì tú， chàbù duō quán shì pò de， bù guò， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí miào shǒu huí chūn， bǎ tā mendōu biǎo hú dé hǎohǎo de。 dì sān miàn qiáng de zhèng zhōng jiān shì tōng lóu tī kǒu de mén， mén de yī biān guà zhe liǎng bǎ chǐ， yī bǎ shì wǒ men de， dāo hén lěi lěi； lìng wài yī bǎ shì zhǎn xīn de， shì tā sī rén de， tā yòng tā xùn jiè rén de shí hòu duō， huà xiàn de shí hòu shǎo。 mén de lìng yī biān guà zhe yī kuài hēi bǎn， shàng miàn yòng yuán juàn jì zhe wǒ men de dà cuò， yòng shí zì jì zhe wǒ men de xiǎo cuò。 hēi bǎn zuǒ biān， jiù shì fá wǒ men xià guì de jiǎo luò。
zhè gè jiǎo luò lìng wǒ zhōng shēng nán wàng！ wǒ jì dé nà gè lú mén、 jì dé lú mén shàng de tōng fēng kǒng yǐ jí rén men zhuàndòng tā shí， tā fā chū de xiǎng shēng。 wǒ cháng cháng zài wū jiǎo guì de shí jiān hěn cháng， guì dé yāo suān tuǐ téng。 zhè shí hòu wǒ xīn lǐ jiù xiǎng：“ kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bǎ wǒ wàng liǎo。 tā dà gài shì shū shū fú yǎn dì zuò zài 'ān lè yǐ shàng dú tā de liú tǐ jìng lì xué， kě shì wǒ ní？” wèile ràng tā xiǎng qǐ wǒ， wǒ jiù bǎ lú mén qīng qīng dǎ kāi yòu guān shàng， huò zhě cóng qiáng shàng kōu xià yī kuài huī ní。 dàn shì， rú guǒ hū rán yòu yī kuài dà dà de huī ní pēng de yī shēng diào dào dì bǎn shàng， shuō zhēn de， dān shì nà fèn hài pà jiù bǐ rèn hé chéng fá dū jīng xīn。 wǒ huí tóu wàng yī wàng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí， tā què pěng zhe yī běn shū， wù zì zuò zài nà 'ér， hǎo xiàng shénme dōuméi yòu jué chá shìde。
wū zǐ zhōng jiān bǎi zhe yī zhāng zhuō zǐ， zhuō shàng pū zhe yī kuài pò hēi qī bù， cóng qī bù de xǔ duō kū lóng lǐ yòu hǎo duō dì fāng tòu chū bèi qiān bǐ dāo huá chū dào dào de zhuō zǐ de biān yán。 zhuō zǐ zhōu wéi bǎi zhe jǐ zhāng méi yòu yóu qī guò， dàn shì yóu yú shǐ yòng liǎo hǎo jiǔ， yǐ jīng mó dé zèng liàng de dèng zǐ。 zuì hòu yī miàn qiáng shàng yòu sān shàn xiǎo chuāng hù。 chuāng wài de jǐng sè shì zhè yàng： zhèng qián fāng yòu yī tiáo lù， lù shàng de měi gè kēng wā、 měi kē shí zǐ、 měi dào chē zhé， dōushì wǒ jiǔ yǐ shú xī hé xǐ 'ài de； zǒu guò zhè tiáo lù， jiù shì yī gè xiū jiǎn guò de pú tí shù de lín yìn lù， lù hòu yòu xiē dì fāng yǐn yǐn yuē yuē lù chū yòng shù zhī biān chéng de lí bā； zài lín yìn lù nà biān， kě yǐ kàn jiàn yī piàn cǎo dì， cǎo dì de yī biān shì dǎ gǔcháng， lìng yī biān shì shù lín。 shù lín shēn chù， kě yǐ kàn dào shǒu lín rén de xiǎo mù fáng。 cóng chuāng kǒu cháo yòu biān tiào wàng， kě yǐ kàn dào yī bù fēn liáng tái， wǔ fàn yǐ qián， dà rén men cháng cháng zuò zài nà lǐ。 dāng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí pī gǎi mò xiě juǎnzǐ de shí hòu， wǒ cháng cháng cháo nà biān guān wàng， wǒ kě yǐ kàn jiàn mā mā de wū hēi de tóu fā hé shénme rén de jǐ bèi， yě kě yǐ yǐn yǐn yuē yuē dì tīng dào nà lǐ de tán xiào shēng。 yīn wéi bù néng dào nà lǐ qù， wǒ xīn lǐ hěn shēng qì。 wǒ xiǎng：“ wǒ shénme shí hòu cái néng zhǎngdà， bù zài xué xí， yǒng yuǎn bù zài sǐ niàn《 huì huà kè běn》， ér tóng wǒ suǒ xǐ huān de rén zuò zài yī qǐ ní？” qì nǎo huì biàn chéng bēi shāng， tiān zhī dào wǒ wèishénme chén sī， chén sī xiē shénme， wǒ xiǎng chū liǎo shén， jìng lián kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí yīn wéi wǒ de cuò wù 'ér fā qǐ pí qì， wǒdōu méi yòu tīng dào。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí tuō xià mián páo， chuān shàng tā nà jiàn jiān tóu diàn dé gāo gāo de、 dǎzháo xí de lán sè yàn wěi yǎn， zhào zhe jìng zǐ lǐ yī lǐ lǐng dài， jiù lǐng zhe wǒ men xià lóu qù xiàng mā mā wèn 'ān liǎo。
On the 12th of August, 18-- (just three days after my tenth birthday, when I had been given such wonderful presents), I was awakened at seven o'clock in the morning by Karl Ivanitch slapping the wall close to my head with a fly-flap made of sugar paper and a stick. He did this so roughly that he hit the image of my patron saint suspended to the oaken back of my bed, and the dead fly fell down on my curls. I peeped out from under the coverlet, steadied the still shaking image with my hand, flicked the dead fly on to the floor, and gazed at Karl Ivanitch with sleepy, wrathful eyes. He, in a parti-coloured wadded dressing- gown fastened about the waist with a wide belt of the same material, a red knitted cap adorned with a tassel, and soft slippers of goat skin, went on walking round the walls and taking aim at, and slapping, flies.
"Suppose," I thought to myself," that I am only a small boy, yet why should he disturb me? Why does he not go killing flies around Woloda's bed? No; Woloda is older than I, and I am the youngest of the family, so he torments me. That is what he thinks of all day long--how to tease me. He knows very well that he has woken me up and frightened me, but he pretends not to notice it. Disgusting brute! And his dressing-gown and cap and tassel too-- they are all of them disgusting."
While I was thus inwardly venting my wrath upon Karl Ivanitch, he had passed to his own bedstead, looked at his watch (which hung suspended in a little shoe sewn with bugles), and deposited the fly-flap on a nail, then, evidently in the most cheerful mood possible, he turned round to us.
"Get up, children! It is quite time, and your mother is already in the drawing-room," he exclaimed in his strong German accent. Then he crossed over to me, sat down at my feet, and took his snuff-box out of his pocket. I pretended to be asleep. Karl Ivanitch sneezed, wiped his nose, flicked his fingers, and began amusing himself by teasing me and tickling my toes as he said with a smile, "Well, well, little lazy one!"
For all my dread of being tickled, I determined not to get out of bed or to answer him,. but hid my head deeper in the pillow, kicked out with all my strength, and strained every nerve to keep from laughing.
"How kind he is, and how fond of us!" I thought to myself, Yet to think that I could be hating him so just now!"
I felt angry, both with myself and with Karl Ivanitch, I wanted to laugh and to cry at the same time, for my nerves were all on edge.
"Leave me alone, Karl!" I exclaimed at length, with tears in my eyes, as I raised my head from beneath the bed-clothes.
Karl Ivanitch was taken aback, He left off tickling my feet, and asked me kindly what the matter was, Had I had a disagreeable dream? His good German face and the sympathy with which he sought to know the cause of my tears made them flow the faster. I felt conscience-stricken, and could not understand how, only a minute ago, I had been hating Karl, and thinking his dressing-gown and cap and tassel disgusting. On the contrary, they looked eminently lovable now. Even the tassel seemed another token of his goodness. I replied that I was crying because I had had a bad dream, and had seen Mamma dead and being buried. Of course it was a mere invention, since I did not remember having dreamt anything at all that night, but the truth was that Karl's sympathy as he tried to comfort and reassure me had gradually made me believe that I HAD dreamt such a horrible dream, and so weep the more-- though from a different cause to the one he imagined
When Karl Ivanitch had left me, I sat up in bed and proceeded to draw my stockings over my little feet. The tears had quite dried now, yet the mournful thought of the invented dream was still haunting me a little. Presently Uncle [This term is often applied by children to old servants in Russia] Nicola came in--a neat little man who was always grave, methodical, and respectful, as well as a great friend of Karl's, He brought with him our clothes and boots--at least, boots for Woloda, and for myself the old detestable, be-ribanded shoes. In his presence I felt ashamed to cry, and, moreover, the morning sun was shining so gaily through the window, and Woloda, standing at the washstand as he mimicked Maria Ivanovna (my sister's governess), was laughing so loud and so long, that even the serious Nicola--a towel over his shoulder, the soap in one hand, and the basin in the other--could not help smiling as he said, "Will you please let me wash you, Vladimir Petrovitch?" I had cheered up completely.
"Are you nearly ready?" came Karl's voice from the schoolroom. The tone of that voice sounded stern now, and had nothing in it of the kindness which had just touched me so much. In fact, in the schoolroom Karl was altogether a different man from what he was at other times. There he was the tutor. I washed and dressed myself hurriedly, and, a brush still in my hand as I smoothed my wet hair, answered to his call. Karl, with spectacles on nose and a book in his hand, was sitting, as usual, between the door and one of the windows. To the left of the door were two shelves-- one of them the children's (that is to say, ours), and the other one Karl's own. Upon ours were heaped all sorts of books--lesson books and play books--some standing up and some lying down. The only two standing decorously against the wall were two large volumes of a Histoire des Voyages, in red binding. On that shelf could be seen books thick and thin and books large and small, as well as covers without books and books without covers, since everything got crammed up together anyhow when play time arrived and we were told to put the "library" (as Karl called these shelves) in order The collection of books on his own shelf was, if not so numerous as ours, at least more varied. Three of them in particular I remember, namely, a German pamphlet (minus a cover) on Manuring Cabbages in Kitchen-Gardens, a History of the Seven Years' War (bound in parchment and burnt at one corner), and a Course of Hydrostatics. Though Karl passed so much of his time in reading that he had injured his sight by doing so, he never read anything beyond these books and The Northern Bee.
Another article on Karl's shelf I remember well. This was a round piece of cardboard fastened by a screw to a wooden stand, with a sort of comic picture of a lady and a hairdresser glued to the cardboard. Karl was very clever at fixing pieces of cardboard together, and had devised this contrivance for shielding his weak eyes from any very strong light.
I can see him before me now--the tall figure in its wadded dressing-gown and red cap (a few grey hairs visible beneath the latter) sitting beside the table; the screen with the hairdresser shading his face; one hand holding a book, and the other one resting on the arm of the chair. Before him lie his watch, with a huntsman painted on the dial, a check cotton handkerchief, a round black snuff-box, and a green spectacle- case, The neatness and orderliness of all these articles show clearly that Karl Ivanitch has a clear conscience and a quiet mind.
Sometimes, when tired of running about the salon downstairs, I would steal on tiptoe to the schoolroom and find Karl sitting alone in his armchair as, with a grave and quiet expression on his face, he perused one of his favourite books. Yet sometimes, also, there were moments when he was not reading, and when the spectacles had slipped down his large aquiline nose, and the blue, half-closed eyes and faintly smiling lips seemed to be gazing before them with a curious expression, All would be quiet in the room--not a sound being audible save his regular breathing and the ticking of the watch with the hunter painted on the dial. He would not see me, and I would stand at the door and think:
"Poor, poor old man! There are many of us, and we can play together and be happy, but he sits there all alone, and has nobody to be fond of him. Surely he speaks truth when he says that he is an orphan. And the story of his life, too--how terrible it is! I remember him telling it to Nicola, How dreadful to be in his position!" Then I would feel so sorry for him that I would go to him, and take his hand, and say, "Dear Karl Ivanitch!" and he would be visibly delighted whenever I spoke to him like this, and would look much brighter.
On the second wall of the schoolroom hung some maps--mostly torn, but glued together again by Karl's hand. On the third wall (in the middle of which stood the door) hung, on one side of the door, a couple of rulers (one of them ours--much bescratched, and the other one his--quite a new one), with, on the further side of the door, a blackboard on which our more serious faults were marked by circles and our lesser faults by crosses. To the left of the blackboard was the corner in which we had to kneel when naughty. How well I remember that corner--the shutter on the stove, the ventilator above it, and the noise which it made when turned! Sometimes I would be made to stay in that corner till my back and knees were aching all over, and I would think to myself. "Has Karl Ivanitch forgotten me? He goes on sitting quietly in his arm-chair and reading his Hydrostatics, while I--!" Then, to remind him of my presence, I would begin gently turning the ventilator round. Or scratching some plaster off the wall; but if by chance an extra large piece fell upon the floor, the fright of it was worse than any punishment. I would glance round at Karl, but he would still be sitting there quietly, book in hand, and pretending that he had noticed nothing.
In the middle of the room stood a table, covered with a torn black oilcloth so much cut about with penknives that the edge of the table showed through. Round the table stood unpainted chairs which, through use, had attained a high degree of polish. The fourth and last wall contained three windows, from the first of which the view was as follows, Immediately beneath it there ran a high road on which every irregularity, every pebble, every rut was known and dear to me. Beside the road stretched a row of lime-trees, through which glimpses could be caught of a wattled fence, with a meadow with farm buildings on one side of it and a wood on the other--the whole bounded by the keeper's hut at the further end of the meadow, The next window to the right overlooked the part of the terrace where the "grownups" of the family used to sit before luncheon. Sometimes, when Karl was correcting our exercises, I would look out of that window and see Mamma's dark hair and the backs of some persons with her, and hear the murmur of their talking and laughter. Then I would feel vexed that I could not be there too, and think to myself, "When am I going to be grown up, and to have no more lessons, but sit with the people whom I love instead of with these horrid dialogues in my hand?" Then my anger would change to sadness, and I would fall into such a reverie that I never heard Karl when he scolded me for my mistakes.
At last, on the morning of which I am speaking, Karl Ivanitch took off his dressing-gown, put on his blue frockcoat with its creased and crumpled shoulders, adjusted his tie before the looking-glass, and took us down to greet Mamma.
“ jiù suàn wǒ xiǎo bā，” wǒ xiǎng，“ kě shì， tā wèishénme piān piān yào jīng dòng wǒ ní？ tā wèishénme bù zài wò luò jiā de chuáng biān dǎ cāng yíng ní ①？ nín qiáo， nà biān yòu duō shǎo 'ā！ bù， wò luò jiā bǐ wǒ dà； wǒ nián jì zuì xiǎo， suǒ yǐ tā jiù ràng wǒ chī kǔ tóu。 tā yī bèi zǐ jìng zhuó mó zhe zěn me jiào wǒ bù tòng kuài。” wǒ dī shēng shuō。“ tā míng míng kàn jiàn， tā bǎ wǒ nòng xǐng liǎo， xià liǎo wǒ yī tiào， què yìng zhuāng zuò méi yòu zhù yì dào de yàng zǐ…… tǎo yàn de jiā huǒ！ lián mián páo、 xiǎo mào、 mào yīng， dū tǎo yàn sǐ liǎo！”
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① wò luò jiā： fú lā jī mǐ 'ěr de xiǎo míng。
dāng wǒ xīn lǐ zhè yàng nǎo hèn kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de shí hòu， tā zǒu dào zì jǐ de chuáng qián， wàng liǎo wàng guà zài chuáng tóu、 xiāng zhe xiǎo bō lí zhū de zhōng zuò shàng de zhōng， rán hòu bǎ yíng pāi guà dào xiǎo dīng shàng， dài zhe yī zhǒng xiǎn rán hěn yú kuài de xīn qíng xiàng wǒ men zhuǎn guò shēn lái。
“ Auf， kinden， auf！…… s ’ istZeit ． DieMutteristschonimSaal！”① tā yòng dé guó kǒu yīn hé yán yuè sè dì hǎn dào， rán hòu cháo wǒ zǒu guò lái， zuò dào wǒ de chuáng biān， cóng yī dài lǐ tāo chū bí yān hú。 wǒ jiǎ zhuāng zài shuì jué。 kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí xiān huàn liǎo yī cuō bí yān， cā liǎo cā bí zǐ， tánliǎo dàn shǒu zhǐ， rán hòu cái lái shōu shí wǒ。 tā yī biān xiào zhe， yī biān kāi shǐ sāo wǒ de jiǎo hòu gēn。“ Nu， nun， Faulenzer！” ② tā shuō。
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①“ Auf， kinden， auf！…… s’ istZeitDieMutteristschonimSaa！”： dé yǔ“ qǐ lái， hái zǐ men， qǐ lái…… dào shí hòu liǎo， mā mā yǐ jīng zài fàn tīng lǐ liǎo。”
②“ Nu， nun， Faulenzer！”： dé yǔ“ wèi， wèi， lǎn gǔ tóu。”
jìn guǎn wǒ pà yǎng， wǒ hái shì méi yòu cóng chuáng shàng tiào qǐ lái， yě méi yòu lǐ cǎi tā， zhǐ shì bǎ tóu gèng wǎng zhěn tóu lǐ zuàn． pàn mìng tī dèng， jié lì rěn zhù bù xiào chū lái。
“ tā duō shàn liáng， duō xǐ huān wǒ men， kě shì wǒ què bǎ tā xiǎng dé nà me huài！”
wǒ zì jǐ hěn nán guò， yě tì kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí nán guò； wǒ yòu xiǎng xiào， yòu xiǎng kū， xīn lǐ hěn luàn。
“ Ach， lassen， Sie，① kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí！” wǒ yǎn lèi wāng wāng dì hǎn zhe， bǎ tóu cóng zhěn tóu dǐ xià shēn chū lái。
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①“ Ach， lassenSie”： dé yǔ“ wèi， bié pèng wǒ。”
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí chī liǎo yī jīng， fàng kāi wǒ de jiǎo， bù 'ān dì wèn wǒ dào dǐ shì zěn me huí shì？ shì bù shì zuò liǎo shénme 'è mèng？…… tā nà cí xiáng de dé guó rén de miàn kǒng、 tā nà jié lì yào cāi chū wǒ wèishénme liú lèi de guān zhù shén qíng， gèng shǐ wǒ lèi rú yǔ xià liǎo： wǒ hěn cán kuì， ér qiě bù míng bái zài yī fēn zhōng zhī qián， wǒ zěn me jū rán néng bù xǐ huān kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí， rèn wéi tā de mián páo、 xiǎo mào hé mào yīng tǎo yàn ní？ xiàn zài， qià hǎo xiāng fǎn， wǒ jué dé zhè xiē dōng xī dū fēi cháng kě 'ài， lián mào yīng dū sì hū chéng liǎo tā hěn shàn liáng de zhèng míng。 wǒ duì tā shuō， wǒ kū， shì yīn wéi wǒ zuò liǎo yī gè 'è mèng， mèng jiàn mā mā sǐ liǎo， rén men tái zhe tā qù xià zàng。 zhè wán quán shì wǒ píng kōng biān zào de， yīn wéi wǒ yī diǎn yě bù jì dé yè lǐ zuò liǎo shénme mèng。 dàn shì， dāng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bèi wǒ de huǎng huà suǒ dǎ dòng， kāi shǐ 'ān wèi wǒ、 fǔ 'ài wǒ de shí hòu， wǒ què jué dé zì jǐ zhēn dì zuò liǎo nà chǎng 'è mèng， yīn cǐ wéi lìng wài de yuán yīn luò qǐ lèi lái liǎo。
dāng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí lí kāi wǒ de shí hòu， wǒ cóng chuáng shàng tái qǐ shēn zǐ， wǎng zì jǐ de xiǎo jiǎo shàng chuān cháng tǒng wà zǐ， zhè shí yǎn lèi bù zěn me liú liǎo， dàn shì wǒ suǒ xū gòu de nà chǎng 'è mèng de yīn yù de xiǎng fǎ， què réng rán yíng rào zài wǒ de nǎo hǎi lǐ。 zhào liào hái zǐ de ní gǔ lā jìn lái liǎo， tā shì yī gè shēn cái 'ǎi xiǎo、 àihào zhěng jié de rén， yī xiàng yán sù rèn zhēn， bīn bīn yòu lǐ， shì kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de hǎo péng yǒu。 tā gěi wǒ men sòng lái yī fú hé xié； gěi wò luò jiā ná lái de shì xuē zǐ， gěi wǒ ná lái de què shì wǒ zhì jīn hái tǎo yàn de dǎzháo huā jié de xié。 wǒ bù hǎo yì sī dāng zhe tā de miàn kū qì； kuàng qiě， cháo yáng yú kuài dì cóng chuāng kǒu shè jìn lái， wò luò jiā yòu zhàn zài liǎn pén jià qián miàn， hěn huá jī dì mó fǎng mǎ lì yǎ · yī fán nuò fú nà（ jiě jiě de nǚ jiā tíng jiào shī）， xiàode nà me kāi xīn， nà me xiǎng liàng， lián jiān tóu dā zhe máo jīn、 yī shǒu ná zhe féi zào、 yī shǒu tí zháoshuǐ hú de yī běn zhèng jīng de ní gǔ lā dū xiào zhe shuō：
“ dé liǎo， fèi lā jī mǐ 'ěr · bǐ dé luó wéi qí， qǐng xǐ liǎn bā。”
wǒ shí fēn kuài huó liǎo。
“ Sindsiebaldfertig？”① cóng jiào shì lǐ chuán lái kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de shēng
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①“ Sindsiebaldfereig？”： dé yǔ“ nǐ men kuài zhǔn bèi hǎo liǎo má？”
tā de shēng yīn yán lì， yǐ jīng méi yòu shǐ wǒ gǎn dòng dé luò lèi de yīn diào liǎo。 zài jiào shì lǐ， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí wán quán shì lìng wài yī gè rén liǎo， tā shì lǎo shī。 wǒ yìng shēng 'ér lái， lián máng chuān shàng yī fú， xǐ hǎo liǎn， shǒu lǐ hái ná zhe shuà zǐ， yī biān fǔ píng wǒ de shī lù lù de tóu fā， yī biān zǒu jìn jiào shì。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bí liáng shàng jià zhuóyǎn jìng， shǒu lǐ ná zhe yī běn shū， zuò zài mén chuāng zhī jiān tā yī xiàng zuò de dì fāng。 mén zuǒ biān bǎi zhe liǎng gè xiǎo shū jià： yī gè shì wǒ men hái zǐ men de， lìng wài yī gè shì kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí sī rén de。 wǒ men de shū jià shàng bǎi zhe gè zhǒng gè yàng de shū héng héng yòu jiào kē shū， yě yòu kè wài dú wù。 yòu xiē shù zhe， yòu xiē píng fàng zhe， zhǐ yòu liǎng dàjuǎn hóng fēng miàn de《 Histoiredesvoyages》① guī guīju jǔ kào qiáng shù zhe， rán hòu shì cháng cháng de、 hòu hòu de、 dà dà xiǎo xiǎo de shū jí， yòu de yòu fēng pí méi shū， yòu de yòu shū méi fēng pí。 měi dāng kè jiān xiū xī yǐ qián， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí jiù fēn fù wǒ men zhěng lǐ“ tú shū guǎn”（ kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí kuā dà qí cí dì bǎ zhè gè xiǎo shū jià chēng zuò“ tú shū guǎn”） de shí hòu， wǒ men zǒng shì bǎ yī qiē dōng xī wǎng nà lǐ luàn sài。 lǎo shī sī rén shū jià shàng de cáng shū， suī rán cè shù méi yòu wǒ men shū jià shàng de nà me duō， zhǒng lèi què wǔ huā bā mén。 wǒ hái jì dé qí zhōng de sān cè： yī běn shì méi yòu yìng fēng pí de dé wén xiǎo cè zǐ， nèi róng jiǎng zài bái cài dì lǐ shī féi de fāng fǎ； yī běn shì yáng pí zhǐ de、 shāo diào liǎo yī jiǎo de qī nián zhàn zhēng shǐ； lìng yī běn shì jìng tǐ lì xué quán bù jiào chéng。 kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bǎ dà bù fēn shí jiān dū xiāo mó zài dú shū shàng， shèn zhì yīn cǐ sǔn shāng liǎo shì lì； bù guò， chú liǎo zhè xiē shū hé《 běi fāng mì fēng》 zá zhì yǐ wài， tā shénme dōubù kàn。
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①《 Histoiredesvoyages》：《 yóu jì》（ fǎ yǔ）
zài kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí de xiǎo shū jià shàng suǒ yòu de dōng xī zhōng jiān， yòu yī jiàn dōng xī zuì néng shǐ wǒ xiǎng qǐ tā lái。 nà jiù shì yī zhǐ yòng zhǐ bǎn zuò de yuán pán， tā 'ān zhe mù tuǐ， kě yǐ jiè zhe mù dīng yí dòng。 yuán pán shàng tiē zhe yī zhāng màn huà， shàng miàn huà zhe yī gè guì fù hé yī gè lǐfà shī。 kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí nián hěn dé hǎo， zhè gè yuán pán yě shì tā zì jǐ shè jì de yī zuò zhè gè yuán pán de mùdì shì wèile zhē zhù dà liàng de guāng xiàn， bǎo hù zì jǐ de shì lì shuāi tuì de yǎn jīng。
jiù shì xiàn zài， wǒ fǎng fó hái néng kàn jiàn tā de shēn yǐng héng héng gāo gāo de gè 'ér， chuānzhuó mián páo， dài zhe hóng sè xiǎo mào， mào zǐ xià miàn lù chū xī shū de báifà。 tā zuò zài yī zhāng xiǎo zhuō bàng biān， zhuō shàng bǎi zhe nà zhǐ yuán pán， yuán pán shàng de lǐfà shī bǎ yīn yǐng tóu shè dào tā de liǎn shàng； kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí yī zhǐ shǒu ná zhe shū， lìng yī zhǐ shǒu dā zài 'ān lè yǐ de fú shǒu shàng， miàn qián fàng zhe yī zhǐ biǎo pán shàng huà zhe liè rén de zhōng、 yī kuài fāng gé shǒu pà、 yī gè yuán xíng de hēi bí yān hú、 yī zhǐ lǜ sè yǎn jìng hé hé bǎi zài xiǎo tuō pán lǐ de yī bǎ jiǎn zhú huā de jiǎn dāo。 zhè yī qiē dōng xī dū nà me guī guīju jǔ、 zhěng zhěng qí qí dì bǎi zài gè zì de wèi zhì shàng， dān píng zhe zhè zhǒng bìng jǐng yòu tiáo de zhì xù， jiù kě yǐ duàn dìng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí xīn dì chún jié， xīn píng qì hé。
píng cháng。 dāng wǒ zài lóu xià dà tīng lǐ páo gòu liǎo de shí hòu， wǒ zǒng shì diǎn zhe jiǎo qiāoqiāo dì shàng lóu， páo jìn jiào shì， nà shí hòu wǒ zǒng shì fā xiàn， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí zhèng dú zì yī rén zuò zài 'ān lè yǐ shàng， shén qíng 'ān xiáng 'ér zhuāng yán dì yuè dú tā xǐ 'ài de yī běn shénme shū。 yòu shí yě yù dào tā bù zài dú shū。 zhè shí tā zǒng bǎ yǎn jìng dī dī dì jià zài dà yīng gōu bí shàng， bàn zhēng bàn bì de lán yǎn jīng lǐ hán zhe yī zhǒng tè shū de biǎo qíng， zuǐ chún yōu yù dì wēi xiào zhe。 fáng jiān lǐ jìng qiǎo qiǎo de， zhǐ tīng dé jiàn tā de jūn yún hū xī shēng hé nà kuài huà zhe liè rén de zhōng dí dā zuò xiǎng。
tā cháng cháng méi yòu fā xiàn wǒ， wǒ jiù zhàn zài mén biān xiǎng：“ kě lián de， kě lián de lǎo tóu 'ér！ wǒ men rén duō， wǒ men wán yā， lè yā， kě shì tā gū líng líng yī gè， méi yòu rèn hé rén 'ān wèi tā。 tā shuō zì jǐ shì gū 'ér， zhēn shì yī diǎn yě bù cuò。 tā de shēn shì duō me kě pà yā！ wǒ jì dé tā duì ní gǔ lā jiǎng guò zì jǐ de shēn shì。 tā de chǔjìng zhēn shì kě pà yā！” wǒ fēi cháng kě lián tā， yīn cǐ cháng cháng zǒu dào tā gēn qián， lā zhù tā de yī zhǐ shǒu shuō：“ Lieber kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí①！” tā hěn xǐ huān wǒ zhè me duì tā shuō huà。 měi dāng zhè zhǒng shí kè， tā zǒng yào fǔ mō wǒ， xiǎn rán tā shēn shēn dì shòu liǎo gǎn dòng。
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① Lieber： qīn 'ài de（ dé yǔ）
lìng yī miàn qiáng shàng guà zhe jǐ fú dì tú， chàbù duō quán shì pò de， bù guò， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí miào shǒu huí chūn， bǎ tā mendōu biǎo hú dé hǎohǎo de。 dì sān miàn qiáng de zhèng zhōng jiān shì tōng lóu tī kǒu de mén， mén de yī biān guà zhe liǎng bǎ chǐ， yī bǎ shì wǒ men de， dāo hén lěi lěi； lìng wài yī bǎ shì zhǎn xīn de， shì tā sī rén de， tā yòng tā xùn jiè rén de shí hòu duō， huà xiàn de shí hòu shǎo。 mén de lìng yī biān guà zhe yī kuài hēi bǎn， shàng miàn yòng yuán juàn jì zhe wǒ men de dà cuò， yòng shí zì jì zhe wǒ men de xiǎo cuò。 hēi bǎn zuǒ biān， jiù shì fá wǒ men xià guì de jiǎo luò。
zhè gè jiǎo luò lìng wǒ zhōng shēng nán wàng！ wǒ jì dé nà gè lú mén、 jì dé lú mén shàng de tōng fēng kǒng yǐ jí rén men zhuàndòng tā shí， tā fā chū de xiǎng shēng。 wǒ cháng cháng zài wū jiǎo guì de shí jiān hěn cháng， guì dé yāo suān tuǐ téng。 zhè shí hòu wǒ xīn lǐ jiù xiǎng：“ kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí bǎ wǒ wàng liǎo。 tā dà gài shì shū shū fú yǎn dì zuò zài 'ān lè yǐ shàng dú tā de liú tǐ jìng lì xué， kě shì wǒ ní？” wèile ràng tā xiǎng qǐ wǒ， wǒ jiù bǎ lú mén qīng qīng dǎ kāi yòu guān shàng， huò zhě cóng qiáng shàng kōu xià yī kuài huī ní。 dàn shì， rú guǒ hū rán yòu yī kuài dà dà de huī ní pēng de yī shēng diào dào dì bǎn shàng， shuō zhēn de， dān shì nà fèn hài pà jiù bǐ rèn hé chéng fá dū jīng xīn。 wǒ huí tóu wàng yī wàng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí， tā què pěng zhe yī běn shū， wù zì zuò zài nà 'ér， hǎo xiàng shénme dōuméi yòu jué chá shìde。
wū zǐ zhōng jiān bǎi zhe yī zhāng zhuō zǐ， zhuō shàng pū zhe yī kuài pò hēi qī bù， cóng qī bù de xǔ duō kū lóng lǐ yòu hǎo duō dì fāng tòu chū bèi qiān bǐ dāo huá chū dào dào de zhuō zǐ de biān yán。 zhuō zǐ zhōu wéi bǎi zhe jǐ zhāng méi yòu yóu qī guò， dàn shì yóu yú shǐ yòng liǎo hǎo jiǔ， yǐ jīng mó dé zèng liàng de dèng zǐ。 zuì hòu yī miàn qiáng shàng yòu sān shàn xiǎo chuāng hù。 chuāng wài de jǐng sè shì zhè yàng： zhèng qián fāng yòu yī tiáo lù， lù shàng de měi gè kēng wā、 měi kē shí zǐ、 měi dào chē zhé， dōushì wǒ jiǔ yǐ shú xī hé xǐ 'ài de； zǒu guò zhè tiáo lù， jiù shì yī gè xiū jiǎn guò de pú tí shù de lín yìn lù， lù hòu yòu xiē dì fāng yǐn yǐn yuē yuē lù chū yòng shù zhī biān chéng de lí bā； zài lín yìn lù nà biān， kě yǐ kàn jiàn yī piàn cǎo dì， cǎo dì de yī biān shì dǎ gǔcháng， lìng yī biān shì shù lín。 shù lín shēn chù， kě yǐ kàn dào shǒu lín rén de xiǎo mù fáng。 cóng chuāng kǒu cháo yòu biān tiào wàng， kě yǐ kàn dào yī bù fēn liáng tái， wǔ fàn yǐ qián， dà rén men cháng cháng zuò zài nà lǐ。 dāng kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí pī gǎi mò xiě juǎnzǐ de shí hòu， wǒ cháng cháng cháo nà biān guān wàng， wǒ kě yǐ kàn jiàn mā mā de wū hēi de tóu fā hé shénme rén de jǐ bèi， yě kě yǐ yǐn yǐn yuē yuē dì tīng dào nà lǐ de tán xiào shēng。 yīn wéi bù néng dào nà lǐ qù， wǒ xīn lǐ hěn shēng qì。 wǒ xiǎng：“ wǒ shénme shí hòu cái néng zhǎngdà， bù zài xué xí， yǒng yuǎn bù zài sǐ niàn《 huì huà kè běn》， ér tóng wǒ suǒ xǐ huān de rén zuò zài yī qǐ ní？” qì nǎo huì biàn chéng bēi shāng， tiān zhī dào wǒ wèishénme chén sī， chén sī xiē shénme， wǒ xiǎng chū liǎo shén， jìng lián kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí yīn wéi wǒ de cuò wù 'ér fā qǐ pí qì， wǒdōu méi yòu tīng dào。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí tuō xià mián páo， chuān shàng tā nà jiàn jiān tóu diàn dé gāo gāo de、 dǎzháo xí de lán sè yàn wěi yǎn， zhào zhe jìng zǐ lǐ yī lǐ lǐng dài， jiù lǐng zhe wǒ men xià lóu qù xiàng mā mā wèn 'ān liǎo。
On the 12th of August, 18-- (just three days after my tenth birthday, when I had been given such wonderful presents), I was awakened at seven o'clock in the morning by Karl Ivanitch slapping the wall close to my head with a fly-flap made of sugar paper and a stick. He did this so roughly that he hit the image of my patron saint suspended to the oaken back of my bed, and the dead fly fell down on my curls. I peeped out from under the coverlet, steadied the still shaking image with my hand, flicked the dead fly on to the floor, and gazed at Karl Ivanitch with sleepy, wrathful eyes. He, in a parti-coloured wadded dressing- gown fastened about the waist with a wide belt of the same material, a red knitted cap adorned with a tassel, and soft slippers of goat skin, went on walking round the walls and taking aim at, and slapping, flies.
"Suppose," I thought to myself," that I am only a small boy, yet why should he disturb me? Why does he not go killing flies around Woloda's bed? No; Woloda is older than I, and I am the youngest of the family, so he torments me. That is what he thinks of all day long--how to tease me. He knows very well that he has woken me up and frightened me, but he pretends not to notice it. Disgusting brute! And his dressing-gown and cap and tassel too-- they are all of them disgusting."
While I was thus inwardly venting my wrath upon Karl Ivanitch, he had passed to his own bedstead, looked at his watch (which hung suspended in a little shoe sewn with bugles), and deposited the fly-flap on a nail, then, evidently in the most cheerful mood possible, he turned round to us.
"Get up, children! It is quite time, and your mother is already in the drawing-room," he exclaimed in his strong German accent. Then he crossed over to me, sat down at my feet, and took his snuff-box out of his pocket. I pretended to be asleep. Karl Ivanitch sneezed, wiped his nose, flicked his fingers, and began amusing himself by teasing me and tickling my toes as he said with a smile, "Well, well, little lazy one!"
For all my dread of being tickled, I determined not to get out of bed or to answer him,. but hid my head deeper in the pillow, kicked out with all my strength, and strained every nerve to keep from laughing.
"How kind he is, and how fond of us!" I thought to myself, Yet to think that I could be hating him so just now!"
I felt angry, both with myself and with Karl Ivanitch, I wanted to laugh and to cry at the same time, for my nerves were all on edge.
"Leave me alone, Karl!" I exclaimed at length, with tears in my eyes, as I raised my head from beneath the bed-clothes.
Karl Ivanitch was taken aback, He left off tickling my feet, and asked me kindly what the matter was, Had I had a disagreeable dream? His good German face and the sympathy with which he sought to know the cause of my tears made them flow the faster. I felt conscience-stricken, and could not understand how, only a minute ago, I had been hating Karl, and thinking his dressing-gown and cap and tassel disgusting. On the contrary, they looked eminently lovable now. Even the tassel seemed another token of his goodness. I replied that I was crying because I had had a bad dream, and had seen Mamma dead and being buried. Of course it was a mere invention, since I did not remember having dreamt anything at all that night, but the truth was that Karl's sympathy as he tried to comfort and reassure me had gradually made me believe that I HAD dreamt such a horrible dream, and so weep the more-- though from a different cause to the one he imagined
When Karl Ivanitch had left me, I sat up in bed and proceeded to draw my stockings over my little feet. The tears had quite dried now, yet the mournful thought of the invented dream was still haunting me a little. Presently Uncle [This term is often applied by children to old servants in Russia] Nicola came in--a neat little man who was always grave, methodical, and respectful, as well as a great friend of Karl's, He brought with him our clothes and boots--at least, boots for Woloda, and for myself the old detestable, be-ribanded shoes. In his presence I felt ashamed to cry, and, moreover, the morning sun was shining so gaily through the window, and Woloda, standing at the washstand as he mimicked Maria Ivanovna (my sister's governess), was laughing so loud and so long, that even the serious Nicola--a towel over his shoulder, the soap in one hand, and the basin in the other--could not help smiling as he said, "Will you please let me wash you, Vladimir Petrovitch?" I had cheered up completely.
"Are you nearly ready?" came Karl's voice from the schoolroom. The tone of that voice sounded stern now, and had nothing in it of the kindness which had just touched me so much. In fact, in the schoolroom Karl was altogether a different man from what he was at other times. There he was the tutor. I washed and dressed myself hurriedly, and, a brush still in my hand as I smoothed my wet hair, answered to his call. Karl, with spectacles on nose and a book in his hand, was sitting, as usual, between the door and one of the windows. To the left of the door were two shelves-- one of them the children's (that is to say, ours), and the other one Karl's own. Upon ours were heaped all sorts of books--lesson books and play books--some standing up and some lying down. The only two standing decorously against the wall were two large volumes of a Histoire des Voyages, in red binding. On that shelf could be seen books thick and thin and books large and small, as well as covers without books and books without covers, since everything got crammed up together anyhow when play time arrived and we were told to put the "library" (as Karl called these shelves) in order The collection of books on his own shelf was, if not so numerous as ours, at least more varied. Three of them in particular I remember, namely, a German pamphlet (minus a cover) on Manuring Cabbages in Kitchen-Gardens, a History of the Seven Years' War (bound in parchment and burnt at one corner), and a Course of Hydrostatics. Though Karl passed so much of his time in reading that he had injured his sight by doing so, he never read anything beyond these books and The Northern Bee.
Another article on Karl's shelf I remember well. This was a round piece of cardboard fastened by a screw to a wooden stand, with a sort of comic picture of a lady and a hairdresser glued to the cardboard. Karl was very clever at fixing pieces of cardboard together, and had devised this contrivance for shielding his weak eyes from any very strong light.
I can see him before me now--the tall figure in its wadded dressing-gown and red cap (a few grey hairs visible beneath the latter) sitting beside the table; the screen with the hairdresser shading his face; one hand holding a book, and the other one resting on the arm of the chair. Before him lie his watch, with a huntsman painted on the dial, a check cotton handkerchief, a round black snuff-box, and a green spectacle- case, The neatness and orderliness of all these articles show clearly that Karl Ivanitch has a clear conscience and a quiet mind.
Sometimes, when tired of running about the salon downstairs, I would steal on tiptoe to the schoolroom and find Karl sitting alone in his armchair as, with a grave and quiet expression on his face, he perused one of his favourite books. Yet sometimes, also, there were moments when he was not reading, and when the spectacles had slipped down his large aquiline nose, and the blue, half-closed eyes and faintly smiling lips seemed to be gazing before them with a curious expression, All would be quiet in the room--not a sound being audible save his regular breathing and the ticking of the watch with the hunter painted on the dial. He would not see me, and I would stand at the door and think:
"Poor, poor old man! There are many of us, and we can play together and be happy, but he sits there all alone, and has nobody to be fond of him. Surely he speaks truth when he says that he is an orphan. And the story of his life, too--how terrible it is! I remember him telling it to Nicola, How dreadful to be in his position!" Then I would feel so sorry for him that I would go to him, and take his hand, and say, "Dear Karl Ivanitch!" and he would be visibly delighted whenever I spoke to him like this, and would look much brighter.
On the second wall of the schoolroom hung some maps--mostly torn, but glued together again by Karl's hand. On the third wall (in the middle of which stood the door) hung, on one side of the door, a couple of rulers (one of them ours--much bescratched, and the other one his--quite a new one), with, on the further side of the door, a blackboard on which our more serious faults were marked by circles and our lesser faults by crosses. To the left of the blackboard was the corner in which we had to kneel when naughty. How well I remember that corner--the shutter on the stove, the ventilator above it, and the noise which it made when turned! Sometimes I would be made to stay in that corner till my back and knees were aching all over, and I would think to myself. "Has Karl Ivanitch forgotten me? He goes on sitting quietly in his arm-chair and reading his Hydrostatics, while I--!" Then, to remind him of my presence, I would begin gently turning the ventilator round. Or scratching some plaster off the wall; but if by chance an extra large piece fell upon the floor, the fright of it was worse than any punishment. I would glance round at Karl, but he would still be sitting there quietly, book in hand, and pretending that he had noticed nothing.
In the middle of the room stood a table, covered with a torn black oilcloth so much cut about with penknives that the edge of the table showed through. Round the table stood unpainted chairs which, through use, had attained a high degree of polish. The fourth and last wall contained three windows, from the first of which the view was as follows, Immediately beneath it there ran a high road on which every irregularity, every pebble, every rut was known and dear to me. Beside the road stretched a row of lime-trees, through which glimpses could be caught of a wattled fence, with a meadow with farm buildings on one side of it and a wood on the other--the whole bounded by the keeper's hut at the further end of the meadow, The next window to the right overlooked the part of the terrace where the "grownups" of the family used to sit before luncheon. Sometimes, when Karl was correcting our exercises, I would look out of that window and see Mamma's dark hair and the backs of some persons with her, and hear the murmur of their talking and laughter. Then I would feel vexed that I could not be there too, and think to myself, "When am I going to be grown up, and to have no more lessons, but sit with the people whom I love instead of with these horrid dialogues in my hand?" Then my anger would change to sadness, and I would fall into such a reverie that I never heard Karl when he scolded me for my mistakes.
At last, on the morning of which I am speaking, Karl Ivanitch took off his dressing-gown, put on his blue frockcoat with its creased and crumpled shoulders, adjusted his tie before the looking-glass, and took us down to greet Mamma.
mā mā zhèng zuò zài kè tīng lǐ zhēn chá。 tā yī zhǐ shǒu qīng qīng fú zhe chá hú， lìng yī zhǐ 'àn zhe chá chuī de lóng tóu， lóng tóu lǐ liú chū lái de shuǐ màn guò chá hú kǒu， yì dào tuō pán lǐ。 tā suī rán mù bù zhuǎn jīng dì wàng zhe， què méi yòu zhù yì dào zhè zhǒng qíng kuàng， yě méi yòu zhù yì dào wǒ men jìn lái。
dāng nǐ nǔ lì zhuī yì yī gè qīn rén de róng mào shí， zǒng yòu xǔ xǔ duō duō wǎng shì yī qí yǒng shàng xīn tóu， yào tòu guò zhè xiē huí yì lái kàn tā， jiù xiàng tòu guò lèi yǎn kàn tā yī yàng， zǒng shì mó hú bù qīng。 zhè shì xiǎng xiàng de yǎn lèi。 yīn cǐ zài wǒ jí lì huí yì mā mā dāng nián de yīn róng xiào mào shí， wǒ zhǐ néng xiǎng xiàng chū tā nà liú lù zhe shǐ zhōng rú yī de cí 'ài de zōng sè yǎn jīng， tā nà kē cháng zài duǎn duǎn de fā quán xià miàn de bó zǐ shàng de hēi zhì， tā nà xuě bái de xiù huā yī lǐng hé nà cháng cháng 'ài fǔ wǒ、 cháng cháng ràng wǒ qīn wěn de、 xì nèn xiān shòu de shǒu， dàn shì tā de zhěng gè shén tài què zǒng shì cóng wǒ de jì yì lǐ huá diào。
shā fā zuǒ biān bǎi zhe yī jià gǔ lǎo de yīng guó dà gāng qín， dà gāng qín qián miàn zuò zhe wǒ nà hēi tóu fā、 hēi pí fū de xiǎo jiě jiě liǔ bó qí kǎ①， tā yòng gāng zài lěng shuǐ lǐ xǐ guò de méi guī sè shǒu zhǐ xiǎn rán hěn jǐn zhāng dì zài dàn kè lāi màn dì de liàn xí qū②。 tā shí yī suì liǎo， chuānzhuó yī jiàn má bù duǎn yī， yī tiáo xuě bái de、 xiāng huā biān de chèn kù， zhǐ néng yòng arpeggio dàn bā dù yīn ③。 tā bàng biān cè shēn zuò zhe mǎ lì yǎ · yī fán nuò fú nà。 mǎ lì yǎ · yī fán nuò fú nà dài zhe yòu hóng duàn dài de bāo fā mào， shēn chuān tiān lán sè de chǎng xiōng duǎn shàng yī， liǎn sè tōng hóng， nù qì chōng chōng； kǎ 'ěr · yī jiù nèi qí yī jìn lái， tā gèng jiā bǎn qǐ liǎn lái liǎo。 tā wēi yán dì wàng yī wàng tā， yě bù dá lǐ， yòng jiǎo tà zhe pāi zǐ， jì xù shù zhe： Un， deux， trois， un， deux， trois” ④， shēng yīn bǐ yǐ qián gèng xiǎng， gèng zhuān héng。
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① liǔ bó qí kǎ： liǔ bó fú de xiǎo míng。
② kè lāi màn dì（ 1752-1832）： yì dà lì gāng qín jiā hé zuòqǔ jiā。
③ arPeggio： yì dà lì yǔ“ pá yīn”。 hé xián zhōng de gè gè zǔ chéng yīn bù shì tóng shí 'ér shì shùn xù zòu chū。
④“ Un， deux， trois,un， deux， trois”： fǎ yǔ“ yī， èr， sān， yī， èr， sān”
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí hǎo xiàng sī háo méi yòu zhù yì dào zhè diǎn， hái shì 'àn zhào dé guó de jìng lǐ fāng shì， yī zhí zǒu dào wǒ mǔ qīn gēn qián， wěn tā de xiǎo shǒu。 tā xǐng wù guò lái liǎo， yáo yáo tóu， fǎng fó xiǎng jiè cǐ qū sàn yōu sī。 tā bǎ shǒu shēn gěi kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí， dāng tā wěn tā de shǒu de shí hòu， tā wěn liǎo wěn tā nà mǎn shì zhòu wén de bìn jiǎo。
“ Ichdanke， lieber kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí①！” tā réng jiù yòng dé yǔ wèn dào：“ hái zǐ men shuìde hǎo má？”
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① Ichdanke， lieber： dé yǔ“ xiè xiè nín， qīn 'ài de”。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí běn lái yī zhǐ 'ěr duǒ jiù lóng， xiàn zài yóu yú dàn gāng qín de shēng yīn， shénme dū tīng bù jiàn liǎo。 tā wān xià yāo， gèng kào jìn shā fā yī xiē， yī zhǐ shǒu fú zhe zhuō zǐ， dān tuǐ zhàn zhe， dài zhe yī zhǒng dāng shí wǒ jué dé shì zuì wén yǎ de xiào róng， bǎ xiǎo mào wǎng tóu shàng shāo wēi yī jǔ， shuō：
“ nín yuán liàng wǒ má， nà dá lì yǎ · ní gǔ lā yé fú nà？”
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí pà tā de tū tóu zháoliáng， cóng lái bù zhāi diào tā nà dǐng xiǎo hóng mào， dàn shì měi cì zǒu jìn kè tīng lǐ lái， tādōu qǐng qiú rén jiā xǔ tā zhè yàng。
“ dài shàng bā， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí…… wǒ zài wèn nín， hái zǐ men shuìde hǎo bù hǎo？’” mā mā xiàng tā shāo wēi kào jìn yī xiē shuō， shēng yīn xiāng dāng xiǎng liàng。
dàn shì tā hái shì shénme yě méi yòu tīng jiàn， yòng xiǎo hóng mào gài shàng tū tóu， xiàode gèng hé 'ǎi liǎo。
“ nǐ tíng yī xià， mǐ mǐ①！” mā mā xiào zhe duì mǎ lì yǎ · yī jiù nuò fú nà shuō，“ shénme dū tīng bù jiàn liǎo。”
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① mǐ mǐ： mǎ lì yǎ de xiǎo míng。
mā mā de róng mào běn lái jiù fēi cháng jùn xiù， dāng tā wēi xiào de shí hòu， jiù gèng jiā měi lì wú bǐ， zhōu wéi de yī qiē yě fǎng fó xǐ qì yáng yì liǎo。 rú guǒ wǒ zài zì jǐ yī shēng zhōng tòng kǔ de shí kè néng kàn yī yǎn zhè zhǒng xiào róng， wǒ jiù huì bù xiǎo dé shénme shì bēi 'āi liǎo。 wǒ jué dé rén de měi mào jiù zài yú yī xiào： rú guǒ zhè yī xiào zēng jiā liǎo liǎn shàng de mèi lì， zhè liǎn jiù shì měi de； rú guǒ zhè yī xiào bù shǐ tā fā shēng biàn huà， zhè jiù shì píng píng cháng cháng de； rú guǒ zhè yī xiào sǔn hài liǎo tā， tā jiù shì chǒu de。
mā mā tóng wǒ dǎ guò zhāo hū yǐ hòu， jiù yòng shuāng shǒu bào zhe wǒ de tóu， shǐ tā yǎng qǐ lái， rán hòu， jù jīng huì shén dì kàn liǎo wǒ yī yǎn shuō：
“ nǐ jīn tiān kū liǎo má？”
wǒ méi yòu huí dá。 tā wěn wěn wǒ de yǎn jīng， yòng dé yǔ wèn dào：
“ nǐ wèishénme kū 'ā？”
dāng tā tóng wǒ men qīnqiè jiāo tán de shí hòu， tā zǒng shì yòng tā shú zhū de zhè zhǒng yǔ yán shuō huà de。
“ wǒ shì zài mèng lǐ kū de， mā mā，” wǒ shuō。 wǒ huí xiǎng qǐ xū gòu de mèng jìng de xiáng qíng xì jié， bù jìn chàn dǒu qǐ lái。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí zhèng shí liǎo wǒ de huà， dàn shì duì yú mèng lǐ de shì zhǐ zì wèi tí。 dà jiā yòu tán dào tiān qì， mǐ mǐ yě cān jiā liǎo tán huà。 rán hòu， mā mā wǎng tuō pán lǐ fàng liǎo liù kuài táng gěi jǐ gè kě jìng de pú rén， jiù zhàn qǐ shēn lái， zǒu jìn bǎi zài chuāng kǒu de cì xiù jià。
“ wèi， hái zǐ men， xiàn zài dào bà bà nà lǐ qù bā， nǐ men gào sù tā， tā qù dǎ gǔcháng yǐ qián， yī dìng yào dào wǒ zhè lǐ lái yī tàng。”
yòu shì yīnyuè、 shù pāi zǐ， yòu shì yán lì de mù guāng。 wǒ men dào bà bà nà lǐ qù liǎo。 chuān guò cóng zǔ fù de shí dài jiù bǎo liú zhe“ pú cóng shì” zhè gè míng chēng de fáng jiān， wǒ men zǒu jìn liǎo shū fáng。
Mamma was sitting in the drawing-room and making tea. In one hand she was holding the tea-pot, while with the other one she was drawing water from the urn and letting it drip into the tray. Yet though she appeared to be noticing what she doing, in reality she noted neither this fact nor our entry.
However vivid be one's recollection of the past, any attempt to recall the features of a beloved being shows them to one's vision as through a mist of tears--dim and blurred. Those tears are the tears of the imagination. When I try to recall Mamma as she was then, I see, true, her brown eyes, expressive always of love and kindness, the small mole on her neck below where the small hairs grow, her white embroidered collar, and the delicate, fresh hand which so often caressed me, and which I so often kissed; but her general appearance escapes me altogether.
To the left of the sofa stood an English piano, at which my dark- haired sister Lubotshka was sitting and playing with manifest effort (for her hands were rosy from a recent washing in cold water) Clementi's "Etudes." Then eleven years old, she was dressed in a short cotton frock and white lace-frilled trousers, and could take her octaves only in arpeggio. Beside her was sitting Maria Ivanovna, in a cap adorned with pink ribbons and a blue shawl, Her face was red and cross, and it assumed an expression even more severe when Karl Ivanitch entered the room. Looking angrily at him without answering his bow, she went on beating time with her foot and counting, " One, two, three--one, two, three," more loudly and commandingly than ever.
Karl Ivanitch paid no attention to this rudeness, but went, as usual, with German politeness to kiss Mamma's hand, She drew herself up, shook her head as though by the movement to chase away sad thoughts from her, and gave Karl her hand, kissing him on his wrinkled temple as he bent his head in salutation.
"I thank you, dear Karl Ivanitch," she said in German, and then, still using the same language asked him how we (the children) had slept. Karl Ivanitch was deaf in one ear, and the added noise of the piano now prevented him from hearing anything at all. He moved nearer to the sofa, and, leaning one hand upon the table and lifting his cap above his head, said with, a smile which in those days always seemed to me the perfection of politeness: "You, will excuse me, will you not, Natalia Nicolaevna?"
The reason for this was that, to avoid catching cold, Karl never took off his red cap, but invariably asked permission, on entering the drawing-room, to retain it on his head.
"Yes, pray replace it, Karl Ivanitch," said Mamma, bending towards him and raising her voice, "But I asked you whether the children had slept well? "
Still he did not hear, but, covering his bald head again with the red cap, went on smiling more than ever,
"Stop a moment, Mimi." said Mamma (now smiling also) to Maria Ivanovna. "It is impossible to hear anything."
How beautiful Mamma's face was when she smiled! It made her so infinitely more charming, and everything around her seemed to grow brighter! If in the more painful moments of my life I could have seen that smile before my eyes, I should never have known what grief is. In my opinion, it is in the smile of a face that the essence of what we call beauty lies. If the smile heightens the charm of the face, then the face is a beautiful one. If the smile does not alter the face, then the face is an ordinary one. But if the smile spoils the face, then the face is an ugly one indeed.
Mamma took my head between her hands, bent it gently backwards, looked at me gravely, and said: "You have been crying this morning?"
I did not answer. She kissed my eyes, and said again in German:
"Why did you cry?"
When talking to us with particular intimacy she always used this language, which she knew to perfection.
"I cried about a dream, Mamma" I replied, remembering the invented vision, and trembling involuntarily at the recollection.
Karl Ivanitch confirmed my words, but said nothing as to the subject of the dream. Then, after a little conversation on the weather, in which Mimi also took part, Mamma laid some lumps of sugar on the tray for one or two of the more privileged servants, and crossed over to her embroidery frame, which stood near one of the windows.
"Go to Papa now, children," she said, "and ask him to come to me before he goes to the home farm."
Then the music, the counting, and the wrathful looks from Mimi began again, and we went off to see Papa. Passing through the room which had been known ever since Grandpapa's time as "the pantry," we entered the study,
dāng nǐ nǔ lì zhuī yì yī gè qīn rén de róng mào shí， zǒng yòu xǔ xǔ duō duō wǎng shì yī qí yǒng shàng xīn tóu， yào tòu guò zhè xiē huí yì lái kàn tā， jiù xiàng tòu guò lèi yǎn kàn tā yī yàng， zǒng shì mó hú bù qīng。 zhè shì xiǎng xiàng de yǎn lèi。 yīn cǐ zài wǒ jí lì huí yì mā mā dāng nián de yīn róng xiào mào shí， wǒ zhǐ néng xiǎng xiàng chū tā nà liú lù zhe shǐ zhōng rú yī de cí 'ài de zōng sè yǎn jīng， tā nà kē cháng zài duǎn duǎn de fā quán xià miàn de bó zǐ shàng de hēi zhì， tā nà xuě bái de xiù huā yī lǐng hé nà cháng cháng 'ài fǔ wǒ、 cháng cháng ràng wǒ qīn wěn de、 xì nèn xiān shòu de shǒu， dàn shì tā de zhěng gè shén tài què zǒng shì cóng wǒ de jì yì lǐ huá diào。
shā fā zuǒ biān bǎi zhe yī jià gǔ lǎo de yīng guó dà gāng qín， dà gāng qín qián miàn zuò zhe wǒ nà hēi tóu fā、 hēi pí fū de xiǎo jiě jiě liǔ bó qí kǎ①， tā yòng gāng zài lěng shuǐ lǐ xǐ guò de méi guī sè shǒu zhǐ xiǎn rán hěn jǐn zhāng dì zài dàn kè lāi màn dì de liàn xí qū②。 tā shí yī suì liǎo， chuānzhuó yī jiàn má bù duǎn yī， yī tiáo xuě bái de、 xiāng huā biān de chèn kù， zhǐ néng yòng arpeggio dàn bā dù yīn ③。 tā bàng biān cè shēn zuò zhe mǎ lì yǎ · yī fán nuò fú nà。 mǎ lì yǎ · yī fán nuò fú nà dài zhe yòu hóng duàn dài de bāo fā mào， shēn chuān tiān lán sè de chǎng xiōng duǎn shàng yī， liǎn sè tōng hóng， nù qì chōng chōng； kǎ 'ěr · yī jiù nèi qí yī jìn lái， tā gèng jiā bǎn qǐ liǎn lái liǎo。 tā wēi yán dì wàng yī wàng tā， yě bù dá lǐ， yòng jiǎo tà zhe pāi zǐ， jì xù shù zhe： Un， deux， trois， un， deux， trois” ④， shēng yīn bǐ yǐ qián gèng xiǎng， gèng zhuān héng。
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① liǔ bó qí kǎ： liǔ bó fú de xiǎo míng。
② kè lāi màn dì（ 1752-1832）： yì dà lì gāng qín jiā hé zuòqǔ jiā。
③ arPeggio： yì dà lì yǔ“ pá yīn”。 hé xián zhōng de gè gè zǔ chéng yīn bù shì tóng shí 'ér shì shùn xù zòu chū。
④“ Un， deux， trois,un， deux， trois”： fǎ yǔ“ yī， èr， sān， yī， èr， sān”
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí hǎo xiàng sī háo méi yòu zhù yì dào zhè diǎn， hái shì 'àn zhào dé guó de jìng lǐ fāng shì， yī zhí zǒu dào wǒ mǔ qīn gēn qián， wěn tā de xiǎo shǒu。 tā xǐng wù guò lái liǎo， yáo yáo tóu， fǎng fó xiǎng jiè cǐ qū sàn yōu sī。 tā bǎ shǒu shēn gěi kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí， dāng tā wěn tā de shǒu de shí hòu， tā wěn liǎo wěn tā nà mǎn shì zhòu wén de bìn jiǎo。
“ Ichdanke， lieber kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí①！” tā réng jiù yòng dé yǔ wèn dào：“ hái zǐ men shuìde hǎo má？”
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① Ichdanke， lieber： dé yǔ“ xiè xiè nín， qīn 'ài de”。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí běn lái yī zhǐ 'ěr duǒ jiù lóng， xiàn zài yóu yú dàn gāng qín de shēng yīn， shénme dū tīng bù jiàn liǎo。 tā wān xià yāo， gèng kào jìn shā fā yī xiē， yī zhǐ shǒu fú zhe zhuō zǐ， dān tuǐ zhàn zhe， dài zhe yī zhǒng dāng shí wǒ jué dé shì zuì wén yǎ de xiào róng， bǎ xiǎo mào wǎng tóu shàng shāo wēi yī jǔ， shuō：
“ nín yuán liàng wǒ má， nà dá lì yǎ · ní gǔ lā yé fú nà？”
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí pà tā de tū tóu zháoliáng， cóng lái bù zhāi diào tā nà dǐng xiǎo hóng mào， dàn shì měi cì zǒu jìn kè tīng lǐ lái， tādōu qǐng qiú rén jiā xǔ tā zhè yàng。
“ dài shàng bā， kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí…… wǒ zài wèn nín， hái zǐ men shuìde hǎo bù hǎo？’” mā mā xiàng tā shāo wēi kào jìn yī xiē shuō， shēng yīn xiāng dāng xiǎng liàng。
dàn shì tā hái shì shénme yě méi yòu tīng jiàn， yòng xiǎo hóng mào gài shàng tū tóu， xiàode gèng hé 'ǎi liǎo。
“ nǐ tíng yī xià， mǐ mǐ①！” mā mā xiào zhe duì mǎ lì yǎ · yī jiù nuò fú nà shuō，“ shénme dū tīng bù jiàn liǎo。”
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① mǐ mǐ： mǎ lì yǎ de xiǎo míng。
mā mā de róng mào běn lái jiù fēi cháng jùn xiù， dāng tā wēi xiào de shí hòu， jiù gèng jiā měi lì wú bǐ， zhōu wéi de yī qiē yě fǎng fó xǐ qì yáng yì liǎo。 rú guǒ wǒ zài zì jǐ yī shēng zhōng tòng kǔ de shí kè néng kàn yī yǎn zhè zhǒng xiào róng， wǒ jiù huì bù xiǎo dé shénme shì bēi 'āi liǎo。 wǒ jué dé rén de měi mào jiù zài yú yī xiào： rú guǒ zhè yī xiào zēng jiā liǎo liǎn shàng de mèi lì， zhè liǎn jiù shì měi de； rú guǒ zhè yī xiào bù shǐ tā fā shēng biàn huà， zhè jiù shì píng píng cháng cháng de； rú guǒ zhè yī xiào sǔn hài liǎo tā， tā jiù shì chǒu de。
mā mā tóng wǒ dǎ guò zhāo hū yǐ hòu， jiù yòng shuāng shǒu bào zhe wǒ de tóu， shǐ tā yǎng qǐ lái， rán hòu， jù jīng huì shén dì kàn liǎo wǒ yī yǎn shuō：
“ nǐ jīn tiān kū liǎo má？”
wǒ méi yòu huí dá。 tā wěn wěn wǒ de yǎn jīng， yòng dé yǔ wèn dào：
“ nǐ wèishénme kū 'ā？”
dāng tā tóng wǒ men qīnqiè jiāo tán de shí hòu， tā zǒng shì yòng tā shú zhū de zhè zhǒng yǔ yán shuō huà de。
“ wǒ shì zài mèng lǐ kū de， mā mā，” wǒ shuō。 wǒ huí xiǎng qǐ xū gòu de mèng jìng de xiáng qíng xì jié， bù jìn chàn dǒu qǐ lái。
kǎ 'ěr · yī fán nèi qí zhèng shí liǎo wǒ de huà， dàn shì duì yú mèng lǐ de shì zhǐ zì wèi tí。 dà jiā yòu tán dào tiān qì， mǐ mǐ yě cān jiā liǎo tán huà。 rán hòu， mā mā wǎng tuō pán lǐ fàng liǎo liù kuài táng gěi jǐ gè kě jìng de pú rén， jiù zhàn qǐ shēn lái， zǒu jìn bǎi zài chuāng kǒu de cì xiù jià。
“ wèi， hái zǐ men， xiàn zài dào bà bà nà lǐ qù bā， nǐ men gào sù tā， tā qù dǎ gǔcháng yǐ qián， yī dìng yào dào wǒ zhè lǐ lái yī tàng。”
yòu shì yīnyuè、 shù pāi zǐ， yòu shì yán lì de mù guāng。 wǒ men dào bà bà nà lǐ qù liǎo。 chuān guò cóng zǔ fù de shí dài jiù bǎo liú zhe“ pú cóng shì” zhè gè míng chēng de fáng jiān， wǒ men zǒu jìn liǎo shū fáng。
Mamma was sitting in the drawing-room and making tea. In one hand she was holding the tea-pot, while with the other one she was drawing water from the urn and letting it drip into the tray. Yet though she appeared to be noticing what she doing, in reality she noted neither this fact nor our entry.
However vivid be one's recollection of the past, any attempt to recall the features of a beloved being shows them to one's vision as through a mist of tears--dim and blurred. Those tears are the tears of the imagination. When I try to recall Mamma as she was then, I see, true, her brown eyes, expressive always of love and kindness, the small mole on her neck below where the small hairs grow, her white embroidered collar, and the delicate, fresh hand which so often caressed me, and which I so often kissed; but her general appearance escapes me altogether.
To the left of the sofa stood an English piano, at which my dark- haired sister Lubotshka was sitting and playing with manifest effort (for her hands were rosy from a recent washing in cold water) Clementi's "Etudes." Then eleven years old, she was dressed in a short cotton frock and white lace-frilled trousers, and could take her octaves only in arpeggio. Beside her was sitting Maria Ivanovna, in a cap adorned with pink ribbons and a blue shawl, Her face was red and cross, and it assumed an expression even more severe when Karl Ivanitch entered the room. Looking angrily at him without answering his bow, she went on beating time with her foot and counting, " One, two, three--one, two, three," more loudly and commandingly than ever.
Karl Ivanitch paid no attention to this rudeness, but went, as usual, with German politeness to kiss Mamma's hand, She drew herself up, shook her head as though by the movement to chase away sad thoughts from her, and gave Karl her hand, kissing him on his wrinkled temple as he bent his head in salutation.
"I thank you, dear Karl Ivanitch," she said in German, and then, still using the same language asked him how we (the children) had slept. Karl Ivanitch was deaf in one ear, and the added noise of the piano now prevented him from hearing anything at all. He moved nearer to the sofa, and, leaning one hand upon the table and lifting his cap above his head, said with, a smile which in those days always seemed to me the perfection of politeness: "You, will excuse me, will you not, Natalia Nicolaevna?"
The reason for this was that, to avoid catching cold, Karl never took off his red cap, but invariably asked permission, on entering the drawing-room, to retain it on his head.
"Yes, pray replace it, Karl Ivanitch," said Mamma, bending towards him and raising her voice, "But I asked you whether the children had slept well? "
Still he did not hear, but, covering his bald head again with the red cap, went on smiling more than ever,
"Stop a moment, Mimi." said Mamma (now smiling also) to Maria Ivanovna. "It is impossible to hear anything."
How beautiful Mamma's face was when she smiled! It made her so infinitely more charming, and everything around her seemed to grow brighter! If in the more painful moments of my life I could have seen that smile before my eyes, I should never have known what grief is. In my opinion, it is in the smile of a face that the essence of what we call beauty lies. If the smile heightens the charm of the face, then the face is a beautiful one. If the smile does not alter the face, then the face is an ordinary one. But if the smile spoils the face, then the face is an ugly one indeed.
Mamma took my head between her hands, bent it gently backwards, looked at me gravely, and said: "You have been crying this morning?"
I did not answer. She kissed my eyes, and said again in German:
"Why did you cry?"
When talking to us with particular intimacy she always used this language, which she knew to perfection.
"I cried about a dream, Mamma" I replied, remembering the invented vision, and trembling involuntarily at the recollection.
Karl Ivanitch confirmed my words, but said nothing as to the subject of the dream. Then, after a little conversation on the weather, in which Mimi also took part, Mamma laid some lumps of sugar on the tray for one or two of the more privileged servants, and crossed over to her embroidery frame, which stood near one of the windows.
"Go to Papa now, children," she said, "and ask him to come to me before he goes to the home farm."
Then the music, the counting, and the wrathful looks from Mimi began again, and we went off to see Papa. Passing through the room which had been known ever since Grandpapa's time as "the pantry," we entered the study,