Maple Review :: View topic - 真实与虚幻

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

真实与虚幻

刘华明
童生

Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 75

刘华明Collection

Posted: 2007-12-05 23:27:09 Post subject: 真实与虚幻

把门关上别让秋风溜进我残缺的梦别让最后一片落叶离开眷恋的家园世界是真实的三米之外一群讨债的人将我团团围困我站立有人会拉住我的肩膀我奔跑有人会打断我的双腿身上的衣服越来越单薄我不得不把理想挂在旧物市场上廉价的出售在虚幻中度过大半生的光阴总看到半个月亮掉进黑洞里不停地喊救命总看到一条鱼褪下发光的鳞片疯狂地冲向彼岸刀悬在空中它将什么时候落下？你不知道我不知道连刀自己也未必知道

迪拜
同进士出身

Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection

Posted: 2007-12-06 00:10:43 Post subject:

开头很好后面需要改进

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-12-06 17:10:07 Post subject:

哲思, 却无奈. 祝福你. 问好

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-12-07 00:11:19 Post subject:

感觉不错。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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