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〖金金作品〗实验诗歌两首
金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-25 21:10:46    Post subject: 〖金金作品〗实验诗歌两首 Reply with quote




《越递进》

抽岷薄凉薄轮的左右回荡
前后漱赢
空连破刺纷种蕊射
行驱仳离逢看
昼强宽飞抵弯想辞见
华悦且卷挥芳结乍
旋开

溅凉冰紫揭膜委曼
启竖蒙香散学顺需远近
求滑踮仰觉藻振
将盼撒无圆涂旧
并天见冲是弄围排
则喷扁念释为透原

平层芳原,燎光匡梦
意底支,支
但浇尖环往保
别且,经恢贴词
拿别伤阔叠飞
距愁——
希因大切走芯层

2007.10.16






《中吕:暗示来自剥削数次的嘘声》

窖藏一钵重水的表达,封堵流淌
就地挖取手臂——第一把镰刀
削砍植物——闭眼前的旧邻居
环绕着液体这粒上升的棕色谎言
炸入眼球,向四面八方持花鞠躬
……挥别、展出、目的。之后是
不扮演第二次新年,扮成
无话可说——第三种鼓声,忍无可忍
一切以快退、深蹲的方式衬托飘浮
两个汉字可以击垮综上所述
囚徒的旗帜在坡上的脉管里来回摇动
圣婴的血等待旗手撬门
第四次——地面上
回到现实忍不住180度仰首的人,名叫:我

(2006)


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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-25 22:09:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

金金在试验什么体?是禅诗吗?
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爱松
秀才


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 208
Location: 中国昆明
爱松Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-25 22:48:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

支持金金!~
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-26 03:53:41    Post subject: Re: 〖金金作品〗实验诗歌两首 Reply with quote

金金 wrote:



《越递进》

抽岷薄凉薄轮的左右回荡
前后漱赢
空连破刺纷种蕊射
行驱仳离逢看
昼强宽飞抵弯想辞见
华悦且卷挥芳结乍
旋开

溅凉冰紫揭膜委曼
启竖蒙香散学顺需远近
求滑踮仰觉藻振
将盼撒无圆涂旧
并天见冲是弄围排
则喷扁念释为透原

平层芳原,燎光匡梦
意底支,支
但浇尖环往保
别且,经恢贴词
拿别伤阔叠飞
距愁——
希因大切走芯层

2007.10.16






这首不易看懂。
以片面的字眼流露思绪意识?以构成一种统合“分散状态”的状态?
尝试以近音文字姻亲关系,或显字的相对隐字来破译,亦未成。
意底支,意底支?哈哈。
不过那抓不到的感觉还不错的。
得自己解解了。
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郭全华
秀才


Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-26 03:53:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言上比较独特,不是很好解
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借助诗歌,努力把自己活成一棵树,白天向上,夜里向下.
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-26 04:53:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首真的看得我糊涂了! Embarassed
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-26 16:25:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

久违了
干嘛去啦

问好!

提倡实验,但是,我看不懂。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-26 18:14:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

金金, 久不见. 怎么晃一下又没了 Confused
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