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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

〖金金作品〗实验诗歌两首

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-11-25 21:10:46 Post subject: 〖金金作品〗实验诗歌两首

《越递进》抽岷薄凉薄轮的左右回荡前后漱赢空连破刺纷种蕊射行驱仳离逢看昼强宽飞抵弯想辞见华悦且卷挥芳结乍旋开溅凉冰紫揭膜委曼启竖蒙香散学顺需远近求滑踮仰觉藻振将盼撒无圆涂旧并天见冲是弄围排则喷扁念释为透原平层芳原，燎光匡梦意底支，支但浇尖环往保别且，经恢贴词拿别伤阔叠飞距愁—— 希因大切走芯层 2007.10.16 《中吕：暗示来自剥削数次的嘘声》窖藏一钵重水的表达，封堵流淌就地挖取手臂——第一把镰刀削砍植物——闭眼前的旧邻居环绕着液体这粒上升的棕色谎言炸入眼球，向四面八方持花鞠躬 ……挥别、展出、目的。之后是不扮演第二次新年，扮成无话可说——第三种鼓声，忍无可忍一切以快退、深蹲的方式衬托飘浮两个汉字可以击垮综上所述囚徒的旗帜在坡上的脉管里来回摇动圣婴的血等待旗手撬门第四次——地面上回到现实忍不住180度仰首的人，名叫：我（2006） _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-11-25 22:09:43 Post subject:

金金在试验什么体?是禅诗吗?

爱松
秀才

Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 208
Location: 中国昆明
爱松Collection

Posted: 2007-11-25 22:48:10 Post subject:

支持金金！~

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-11-26 03:53:41 Post subject: Re: 〖金金作品〗实验诗歌两首

金金 wrote:

《越递进》

抽岷薄凉薄轮的左右回荡
前后漱赢
空连破刺纷种蕊射
行驱仳离逢看
昼强宽飞抵弯想辞见
华悦且卷挥芳结乍
旋开

溅凉冰紫揭膜委曼
启竖蒙香散学顺需远近
求滑踮仰觉藻振
将盼撒无圆涂旧
并天见冲是弄围排
则喷扁念释为透原

平层芳原，燎光匡梦
意底支，支
但浇尖环往保
别且，经恢贴词
拿别伤阔叠飞
距愁——
希因大切走芯层

2007.10.16

这首不易看懂。
以片面的字眼流露思绪意识？以构成一种统合“分散状态”的状态？
尝试以近音文字姻亲关系，或显字的相对隐字来破译，亦未成。
意底支，意底支？哈哈。
不过那抓不到的感觉还不错的。
得自己解解了。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

郭全华
秀才

Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection

Posted: 2007-11-26 03:53:54 Post subject:

语言上比较独特,不是很好解 _________________ 借助诗歌，努力把自己活成一棵树，白天向上，夜里向下．

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-11-26 04:53:47 Post subject:

第一首真的看得我糊涂了！

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-11-26 16:25:14 Post subject:

久违了干嘛去啦问好！提倡实验，但是，我看不懂。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-26 18:14:55 Post subject:

金金, 久不见. 怎么晃一下又没了

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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