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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

<荷梦>

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 20:22:32 Post subject: <荷梦>

<荷梦> 初冬无荷初冬只有清冽的雨从太多的眼睛涌出来而我湿透的我已在透湿中木然直到那天深秋的夕阳无奈地从枫林跌落慌乱中伸出手滚烫的如同午夜你不肯抛洒的泪每接一颗我的掌心便绽开一朵殷红的荷

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-11-17 20:50:20 Post subject:

想荷梦问好最后的一节很精彩哦 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:45:45 Post subject: Re: <梦荷>

荷叶盛梦面油油亘旦水晶聚凝犊猪儿溏边逐大珠小猪落眼球咕噜咕噜蹄歌唱刷拉刷拉水四飞灶蒸荷叶包昨夜梦甜甜 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:53:52 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

想荷梦问好

最后的一节
很精彩哦

谢谢PEACE. 我这是拉一首出来放放风. Wink

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 21:59:32 Post subject: Re: <梦荷>

博弈 wrote:

荷叶盛梦面油油
亘旦水晶聚凝

犊猪儿溏边逐
大珠小猪落眼球

咕噜咕噜蹄歌唱
刷拉刷拉水四飞

灶蒸荷叶包
昨夜梦甜甜 Laughing

博士, 你这又是写的实验诗歌么 Wink

盛梦面油油
亘旦水晶聚凝---包子皮

犊猪儿溏边逐
大珠小猪落眼球___莲蓉馅

咕噜咕噜蹄歌唱
刷拉刷拉水四飞___蒸上笼了

灶蒸荷叶包
昨夜梦甜甜 ___梦里还在吃啊

看来你入厨手艺还不错. 何时请朋友们聚餐?

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:10:25 Post subject: Re: <梦荷>

白水 Moonlight wrote:

博弈 wrote:

荷叶盛梦面油油
亘旦水晶聚凝

犊猪儿溏边逐
大珠小猪落眼球

咕噜咕噜蹄歌唱
刷拉刷拉水四飞

灶蒸荷叶包
昨夜梦甜甜 Laughing

博士, 你这又是写的实验诗歌么 Wink

敢来旧金山，保你梦甜甜。 Laughing

年又将近，睡得香醇，吃得温暖，人生就小值啦。
有友来访，那就多一份惬意喽。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:39:06 Post subject: Re: <梦荷>

博弈 wrote:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

博弈 wrote:

荷叶盛梦面油油
亘旦水晶聚凝

犊猪儿溏边逐
大珠小猪落眼球

咕噜咕噜蹄歌唱
刷拉刷拉水四飞

灶蒸荷叶包
昨夜梦甜甜 Laughing

博士, 你这又是写的实验诗歌么 Wink

敢来旧金山，保你梦甜甜。 Laughing

年又将近，睡得香醇，吃得温暖，人生就小值啦。
有友来访，那就多一份惬意喽。

有机会一定去

我的解诗对吗?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 22:55:30 Post subject:

直到那天深秋的夕阳无奈地从枫林跌落慌乱中伸出手滚烫的如同午夜你不肯抛洒的泪不错，欣赏～问好白水妹妹！

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-17 23:08:49 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

直到那天
深秋的夕阳无奈地
从枫林跌落
慌乱中伸出手
滚烫的如同午夜你不肯抛洒的泪

不错，欣赏～问好白水妹妹！ Very Happy

谢谢月亮. 这段嵌了个"梦"字, 再为"荷"字作个铺垫吧. Razz

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-11-18 10:37:11 Post subject: Re: <梦荷>

白水 Moonlight wrote:

博弈 wrote:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

博弈 wrote:

荷叶盛梦面油油
亘旦水晶聚凝

犊猪儿溏边逐
大珠小猪落眼球

咕噜咕噜蹄歌唱
刷拉刷拉水四飞

灶蒸荷叶包
昨夜梦甜甜 Laughing

博士, 你这又是写的实验诗歌么 Wink

敢来旧金山，保你梦甜甜。 Laughing

年又将近，睡得香醇，吃得温暖，人生就小值啦。
有友来访，那就多一份惬意喽。

有机会一定去

我的解诗对吗?

上回我解你的红豆黄连的，你不是说诗写出来就是大家的？解得真有兴味，不错（是啥不错？）。“亘旦水晶聚凝” 玩了个游戏，晶从三日，我用亘旦来引。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-11-18 11:43:52 Post subject:

博士, 我这人比较木. 越发糊涂了, 三日为晶没错, 可和我的红豆黄莲怎么也连不上啊. 看来我要闭关了. 书到用时方恨少

彭世学
秀才

Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 187
Location: 中国
彭世学Collection

Posted: 2007-11-18 17:15:36 Post subject:

每接一颗我的掌心便绽开一朵殷红的荷漂亮的收尾，令人顿生暖意！ _________________ 认为诗是悬崖上的孤松，栖鸟是她唯一的养料我的博客： http://blog.sina.com.cn/pengshixue 《网文荟萃》报：http://bbs.wangwenw.com/index.asp

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-11-20 09:47:11 Post subject:

。何梦怎么没来？？白水那个好。。 mark 的好调皮呢：）。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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