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向隅诗歌四首,请指导~!
向隅
童生


Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: 北京
向隅Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 06:25:49    Post subject: 向隅诗歌四首,请指导~! Reply with quote

忠诚的灰尘

放在床下的旧箱子

已布满灰尘
灰尘上没有印痕
均匀的灰尘下透着箱子的底色
我感到灰尘是多么干净

箱子里一定盛着一些重要的东西
或者是一个秘密
秘密用灰尘来保守
是多么可信
没有谁
能把灰尘这么均匀地洒在
箱子表面


我看见了雨中的老屋

雨落到老屋上面
它的颜色就深了

檐下的巧燕不再呢喃
现在是休息时候

小雨让日子停留
屋旁晃动的槐树在潮湿的地面上
摇出了自己的缝隙
那是比年轮树和干更大的一环

在斑驳的墙壁上
左转右绕的蚂蚁容易被忽视
注定今天可以早些入睡

必须要追逐光彩的梦想吗?
在和炊烟的交流中
让我们慢慢道来


偷 欢

一辆马车行进在北京四环路上
车把式坐在车的左前侧方
他的媳妇坐在中央
这匹马就像画里的样子
开始腾起四蹄
飞快地跑在四环路上

傍晚光照开始叫人留恋
步行的人们开始放慢脚步
骑车的行人与马车并行
这匹红马更加精神起来
车把式吆喝着前面的行人让路
女人在车上颠簸起伏

我飞速地跑向前面的隧道桥
站在桥面向右侧下方探视
看这辆马车钻出桥洞

他们是那么快
随着马头一露出来桥洞
这辆车就冲到了前面

最好,前面不要有交警,也不要有弯路
在这条路上,
他们
还能多跑一气


梦醒此刻,天下太平

梦到古代,梦到古代的源头
梦到开天辟地,梦到混沌初开
梦到的都是虔诚的真实

梦到一条河
梦到河水暴溢
梦到河边一株草
碧绿无比

梦到一条小溪
梦到溪边走过的女子
她如此美丽,不知道名姓
她彻底自由

梦到夜
呼吸把黑还给黑

梦醒此刻
夜阑人静
天下天平


卢吉增,笔名向隅。
生于80年代,北京一位普通教师。
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古井
秀才


Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 190

古井Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 07:29:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

指导谈不上,共同进步!

脉络清楚,诗情不错!

喜欢最后一个!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 19:20:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

源于生活的诗歌让人觉得真实而亲切.

欢迎新朋友
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向隅
童生


Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 5
Location: 北京
向隅Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 06:01:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢各位阅读~~

向大家好好学习~~

向隅天天进步~
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