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短诗三首
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-25 23:55:08    Post subject: 短诗三首 Reply with quote

短诗三首
文/半溪明月
(一)
从一根针眼穿进去
就被生活拉成瘦长的线

缝缝补补的日子
无数的星星张着欲望的窟窿

更大的羞赧是月亮的忧郁
流泻的秘密被谁拾去?

黎明的线 刚一缝合
又被谁撕开,在每一个黄昏



(二)

骑上一匹战马
一匹不受操控的马
手里的缰绳只是虚设

有理由相信:马有自己的意志
驮着你,向着未知的方向

骑在马上的人
不被生活摔下
于荆刺险峰处,笑赏风景

(三)

日常中,总有意外
或意料中的惊喜
轻柔温暖的蚕丝被
和“明年继续努力”的奖励
一起端在双手。轻,是它
重,也是它。谁又能感觉?

此刻,端详那四方的盒子
真希望:它是我希冀的一本书
2007-10-26
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 00:59:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

黎明的线 刚一缝合
又被黄昏 断开

好感觉.问好!
_________________
靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 03:21:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首读来特别舒服!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 07:58:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

韩少君 wrote:
黎明的线 刚一缝合
又被黄昏 断开

好感觉.问好!

问好少君,感谢评阅~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 08:07:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

荷梦 wrote:
第一首读来特别舒服!


谢谢荷梦赏阅~ Very Happy
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黑雨滴
秀才


Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 19:14:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏了,问好明月
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 22:56:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

黑雨滴 wrote:
欣赏了,问好明月

谢阅,问好石头~
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-26 23:10:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

缝合又断裂的生活

月月好感觉~~


骑在马上的人
不被生活摔下
于荆刺险峰处,笑赏风景



笑~~这样的勇气,赞!
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踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-28 03:45:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

阿依琼裙 wrote:
缝合又断裂的生活

月月好感觉~~


骑在马上的人
不被生活摔下
于荆刺险峰处,笑赏风景



笑~~这样的勇气,赞!


问好阿琼,最近在旅游啊~羡慕!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-28 14:19:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

为什么第一首要好些?以小写大,从生活情景到哲理感悟,有形象有意境。

第三首那种思路和写法要警惕,共勉哈!
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周道模
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彭世学
秀才


Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 187
Location: 中国
彭世学Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-28 17:38:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

骑上一匹战马
一匹不受操控的马
手里的缰绳只是虚设

有理由相信:马有自己的意志
驮着你,向着未知的方向

骑在马上的人
不被生活摔下
于荆刺险峰处,笑赏风景

信仰、自由、还是追求,令人回味!
_________________
认为诗是悬崖上的孤松,栖鸟是她唯一的养料
我的博客:
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-28 17:40:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

(一)
从一根针眼穿进去
就被生活拉成瘦长的线

缝缝补补的日子
无数的星星张着欲望的窟窿

更大的羞赧是月亮的忧郁
流泻的秘密被谁拾去?

黎明的线 刚一缝合
又被谁撕开,在每一个黄昏



(二)

骑上一匹战马
一匹不受操控的马
手里的缰绳只是虚设

有理由相信:马有自己的意志
驮着你,向着未知的方向

骑在马上的人
不被生活摔下
于荆刺险峰处,笑赏风景

(三)

日常中,总有意外
或意料中的惊喜
轻柔温暖的蚕丝被
和“明年继续努力”的奖励
一起端在双手。轻,是它
重,也是它。谁又能感觉?

此刻,端详那四方的盒子
真希望:它是我希冀的一本书
2007-10-26
_________________
除了喜欢,还是喜欢!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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