Maple Review :: View topic - 我和你(原创)

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

我和你(原创)

沙地
童生

Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 9

沙地Collection

Posted: 2007-10-23 16:50:56 Post subject: 我和你(原创)

我从远方归来走过路和桥而你静止水边你是我唯一的黎明与黑夜你看着我写诗抽烟最后的美丽是额头是紧闭的嘴唇和双眼一幅朦胧的水墨画已悄悄挂在床边远方啊远方是我的近处近处无边的幽深和忧郁你打开花瓣般的人生什么什么是我的山峦和田野别处有我的家乡别处的柴门打开而你把心紧紧关闭我从远方归去回到你的身旁旁边仍是你路过的群山 _________________ 沙地邮编:036011 地址:山西省朔州市神头电建二公司党委工作部武国明电话:13664306672

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-23 21:21:25 Post subject:

远方是我的近处 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-23 21:38:56 Post subject:

散了点，要有主线串连~个见，请斟!

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-10-24 19:44:51 Post subject:

旁边仍是你路过的群山。可提炼。问好。

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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