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从去年的麦地长出了今年的麦子
杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-05 04:23:05    Post subject: 从去年的麦地长出了今年的麦子 Reply with quote

从去年的麦地长出了今年的麦子

麦穗及芒全一色的草绿
24度最宜人的空气里,有猫叫春的躁
一只狗和另一只狗紧追不舍
所有的花都火一样的烧
唯有它,朴素的小麦花
雪白雪白的安宁

啊,我多么幸运,我归属于吃小麦的人类
我每天吃着雪白的面粉
并且模仿着它的样子繁衍子孙
2007-5-5


蝉在看我

在众多的盘子之中,独它
睁一只明眸 看我
于是我突然羞于咀嚼

我害羞的厉害

而且搞不清谁在谁的洞外
谁被谁咀嚼

我仓惶出逃
吱的一哮,它
于我脊后大笑
2007-10-5
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 05:29:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

冲浪, 你的诗歌越写越好了. 耐品.我都读出了感动.
问好
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 06:23:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

朴素的小麦花
雪白雪白的安宁


借物言志~

第二首耐嚼有味~:)
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
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Location: 中国
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 07:21:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
冲浪, 你的诗歌越写越好了. 耐品.我都读出了感动.
问好

多谢勉励,不进步对不起朋友们啊。
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 07:22:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
朴素的小麦花
雪白雪白的安宁


借物言志~

第二首耐嚼有味~:)

谢谢半溪。
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 20:26:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首,简朴有深意,令人感动;第二首,形象有寓意,教人思索。

问好浪兄!
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 20:32:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

很巧妙

握手了
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-10-06 00:17:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

相对来说,《从去年的麦地长出今年的麦子》

闲淡中,给人以思索,更体现了“诗品”

而,《蝉在看我》

对于当今诗坛,如此的风格太多了,

不算出众,

对冲浪先生,要求必须高一点。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 16:04:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

赞赏迪拜评诗的态度和水平!
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-07 20:36:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

司马策风 wrote:
第一首,简朴有深意,令人感动;第二首,形象有寓意,教人思索。

问好浪兄!

久违了,大司马。
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 20:38:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
很巧妙

握手了

希望来点批评。
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 20:40:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

迪拜 wrote:
相对来说,《从去年的麦地长出今年的麦子》

闲淡中,给人以思索,更体现了“诗品”

而,《蝉在看我》

对于当今诗坛,如此的风格太多了,

不算出众,

对冲浪先生,要求必须高一点。

评得好,第一首诗是旧诗,写的时间长一些,里面有一些感觉,后一首太匆忙。
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 20:41:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
赞赏迪拜评诗的态度和水平!

握手。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2007-10-08 00:09:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

握手。杯中也能海啸啊!
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梅影三叠
秀才


Joined: 06 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-10-08 16:29:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

有象征意味
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黑雨滴
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-10-08 19:37:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢第二首,问好
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