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麇裂的。时光寓言
雪硯
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Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
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PostPosted: 2007-05-28 03:45:28    Post subject: 麇裂的。时光寓言 Reply with quote

【麇裂的。时光寓言】

整个夏天像一隻火鸡。牵牛花来来,去去;沉默
是躺著的一隻爬虫,把头埋进穀场的米堆。火掏
空黄昏,还有数几蔴袋的尊严。不径而走的风声
老催赶著风信子。海浪戏弄红橙橙的落日,珊瑚
礁的影子偷去几个小孩的哭声,椰子树狂笑不止

在拿布里城,广场上烈日曝晒的尸首,鄙视风的
逃逸。鄙视那花岗岩一般的坚硬,冷成一顿晚餐
的鱼头骨骸。成群排列的,整个天空惊厄的眼睛
一到晚上,就空成一颗一颗洒著冰冷的泪的星星
秋天骑著鱷鱼,骑士们没有族谱。一种麇裂在菊

花遍开的清晨等待,等待驼铃的倾洩像蔷薇轻轻
的违逆。一则大漠撕裂的寓言沉没,时光的笑靨
繁殖如多梦的蹼颠躓而来,情人的脸是流萤轻扑
板车摇晃著六字的咒语,夜色已躺进笛音的缠绵
薄翼如愁,在默默的后龙溪畔,瘦瘦的小镇山城

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赵福治
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PostPosted: 2007-05-28 04:39:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

有散文的美.
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-05-28 06:14:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

形象丰满厚实

整个天空惊厄的眼睛
一到晚上,就空成一颗一颗洒著冰冷的泪的星星
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-29 02:39:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

轰轰烈烈的感觉。
浏览了你的博客,很好。还有海子、顾城及诗歌方面的。非常关注。以后细读。

问你好!很厚重!
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-09-11 14:46:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

终于 看到 一位 另类文字 的同袍战友 :)

。。
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

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PostPosted: 2007-09-12 00:50:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

其实,这首诗歌写得很好

关键,普通人看得懂

不需要非常多的"解析"

立在"他人角度"

就是----不故弄玄虚,

我喜欢这样的诗歌,超过你的其他作品.
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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
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PostPosted: 2007-09-13 09:08:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好,拜读。
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金金
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PostPosted: 2007-09-13 23:48:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错这首。提读
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雪硯
童生


Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
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PostPosted: 2007-09-14 14:05:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

鳄鱼的皮肤一直让人以为是『麇裂的』。
以『鳄鱼』具象了我个人对『时光』此一记号的整体概念;
也许是一种苦涩的滋味,让我们总是默默看着时间酷酷的缓缓前行,
而这个世界依然每天循环它可能的悲伤,不管在天涯或海角。

所以,对这个世界的许多人来说,一种光景在时间之中复制
就叫做『时光』,它以悲凉的静默形式存在,诗人说:它是「时间之伤」;
但它是一种愈来愈真实的「寓言」。


感谢 
赵福治、和平岛、韩少君、kokho、迪拜、下一个偶像是野兽、金金
等诸位朋友的赏读,让这首诗增色不少。


问好!

雪砚
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-09-14 14:44:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

整个夏天像一隻火鸡。
牵牛花来来,去去;沉默
是躺著的一隻爬虫,
把头埋进穀场的米堆。
火掏 空黄昏,还有数几蔴袋的尊严。
不径而走的风声
老催赶著风信子。
海浪戏弄红橙橙的落日,
珊瑚 礁的影子偷去几个小孩的哭声,
椰子树狂笑不止


不懂, 好好的诗歌为何非要排成方阵. 阅兵式吗? Wink

SORRY, 开个玩笑. 我这是真心请教. Very Happy
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雪硯
童生


Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
雪硯Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 16:09:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
整个夏天像一隻火鸡。
牵牛花来来,去去;沉默
是躺著的一隻爬虫,
把头埋进穀场的米堆。
火掏 空黄昏,还有数几蔴袋的尊严。
不径而走的风声
老催赶著风信子。
海浪戏弄红橙橙的落日,
珊瑚 礁的影子偷去几个小孩的哭声,
椰子树狂笑不止


不懂, 好好的诗歌为何非要排成方阵. 阅兵式吗? Wink

SORRY, 开个玩笑. 我这是真心请教. Very Happy


谢谢白水,这是早期流形过的一种方块形式的诗型,谓之『方块诗』。
这种诗型通常注入较多的作者个人的生命意志,
有它形式意义与文本内容互涉的暗示,带着一种艺术性的美学辨证。

『麇裂的。时光寓言』同一系列的创作,是《鳄鱼祭》。
内容与本诗相差无几,但以分行的形式表现,等会,我再贴出来,请大家批评指教。

问好白水!

雪砚
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