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我读《灵魂的歌唱》
jemmy
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PostPosted: 2007-10-17 01:38:35    Post subject: 我读《灵魂的歌唱》 Reply with quote

我读《灵魂的歌唱》
黄娟
周道模说要送我的书晚了一些天才来,它从四川出发走了那么远,那么久,相形之下,我看它就可说是十分快速的了。
或者是三星堆先把我唬着,我对出土文物历来感到犯难,在它旁边生长出的周生的诗,就显得十分古老。
我不知道《烧稻草》起因是什么,“一根火柴/点燃稻草/一句话/点燃战争”,因为是“突围”,也许是红军时候的。我个人觉得,这首短短的诗写得很完整,说了战争,也说了承先烈恩典的后辈对先烈的悼念。有时候,我们无须将诗写得很长,短小有短小的味道。常常的,那种凝练或者留空反而
给人一种遐思的美妙,迷离而多幻。
在一个农业国里大约免不了写农民。我以为《布谷》写得不错。“你用季节性的叫声/割倒麦子”,我喜欢作者把自己摆进诗去,这应该也是他真情实感之作。一个诗人,一个译者,用了“译成乡村音乐”的比喻,如同把布谷比作“乡间民谣”,“口头文学”,非常精到。不能小看只是几个比喻,有时候一篇作品就因几个词汇或句式存活呢。
我建议诗人把全诗贴在论坛里,我看到的你的诗中,我以为这首是写得最好的。在今日,人们附势趋炎,对乡村早就情感荒芜了,希望你不时能“把身躯寄放在城市/跟着你 魂归故乡/布谷 布谷/我倚着你的歌声而独立”。
压后的诗歌《浩荡》,还真是浩浩荡荡吧,洪水般纵横肆虐,所及面广,古今中外,没有一股底气大抵完成不下来。也就因为一股意气,没有让人感觉这只是一些知识的罗列,因为热情,也记不起要炫耀。有些作者即使老了,有了相当的阅历,可亏于学识,念了几本书不知其味拼命张摆,这首诗没有这个缺点。
需要提一提的是,周生没有在书里写清楚简历。我以为这是需要诟病的小地方。当然,从诗歌后面的写作日期大抵可以猜出诗人年龄,但我想还是标明出生年份比较好。评论界弄出些70后80后的标签虽涉嫌有些多事,但不同的生长的确会诞生些不同的共性,对于人们的阅读是有辅助作用的。
祝周道模佳作更多。
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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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Location: 中国四川广汉
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PostPosted: 2007-10-17 03:10:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

回黄娟兼呈各位诗友:

我的年龄和中华民族一样古老,和新世纪一样青春。把〈〈烧稻草〉〉抬出来示众:

一根火柴
点燃稻草
一句话
点燃战争
站着是火焰的旗帜
倒下是阳光的骨灰
谁点燃你
突围夜色
我捧起火烫的诗歌
为谁
举行葬礼
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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杨光
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Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 683

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PostPosted: 2007-10-17 21:16:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

小诗歌,短小精悍,耐人寻味.
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