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拙作《满江红·鸿沟海峡》敬请指教
贺兰山下
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 32

贺兰山下Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 23:26:59    Post subject: 拙作《满江红·鸿沟海峡》敬请指教 Reply with quote
满江红


又闻台海风云起，仲夏午后，暴雨初歇而作


墨泼苍天，
乱云舞，
怒涛千尺。
惊雷起，
鸿沟海峡，
雨狂风疾！
生死八年家国难，
兵戈两岸亲兄阋，
六十年，掩卷问恩仇，
相煎急！

江似剑，
峰如戟，
残阳血，
山河寂，
胜败皆尘土，
空余碑石！
鹬蚌何争民卒苦，
输赢不过王旗易！
再几时，复我汉唐盛，
心归一？
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贺兰山下
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 32

贺兰山下Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 23:27:58    Post subject: Reply with quote
──────────

【词谱】白香词谱
【韵书】词林正韵
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贺兰山下
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 32

贺兰山下Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 23:45:29    Post subject: Reply with quote



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duzhi
童生


Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 65
Location: 中国安徽
duzhiCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-05 19:29:07    Post subject: Reply with quote
江似剑，
峰如戟，
残阳血，
山河寂，
胜败皆尘土，
空余碑石！
鹬蚌何争民卒苦，
输赢不过王旗易！
再几时，复我汉唐盛，
心归一？ 太有才华了，思想深刻，欣赏。
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清狂傲世随天性,仗义疏财任我行。
博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/duzhizhang440
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贺兰山下
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 32

贺兰山下Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-07 16:01:46    Post subject: Reply with quote
谢过！

到duzhi兄博客匆匆拜读了一下

甚多佳作，容有空细读，尚要向兄多多讨教！！！
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野航
秀才


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 547
Location: toronto
野航Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-10 18:42:30    Post subject: Reply with quote
有气势。笔力也不错。
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回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-10 19:01:53    Post subject: Reply with quote
好棒的诗配画, 顶
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贺兰山下
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 32

贺兰山下Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-12 21:50:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
多谢！！

还要向楼上各位讨教呢！
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贺兰山下
童生


Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 32

贺兰山下Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-22 21:36:39    Post subject: Reply with quote
顶起候教！
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