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和白水《如梦令 古渡》
莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-01 19:08:58    Post subject: 和白水《如梦令 古渡》 Reply with quote

晚酝霞云艳处，
新弄炊烟如雾。
雅兴醉华年，
谁忆初临南浦，
轻步，
轻步，
怕搅诗魂细诉。

格式如下
⊙●⊙○⊙▲，
⊙●⊙○⊙▲。
⊙●●○○，
⊙●⊙○⊙▲，
○▲，
○▲，
⊙●⊙○⊙▲。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-01 19:31:59    Post subject: Reply with quote
临屏草和, MM见笑
回首离别旧处
泪眼难遮咸雾
莹雪舞双蝶
古韵又添新谱?
停步,停步
且莫伤情再诉
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-01 19:39:39    Post subject: Reply with quote
结句真妙,把"搅"字和"细"字两个词用活了.
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-01 23:24:17    Post subject: Reply with quote
白水 Moonlight wrote:
临屏草和, MM见笑
回首离别旧处
泪眼难遮咸雾
莹雪舞双蝶
古韵又添新谱?
停步,停步
且莫伤情再诉

嘻嘻，GG好快呀！ Razz 莹雪要努力了 sticking tongue 回和一首 lalalala

晚照金光秀处，
别泪迷蒙似雾。
白水绕村前，
渔钓赋歌旧谱，
留步，
留步，
他日书文重诉。
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暗香如沁
秀才


Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-01 23:41:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
呵呵．好才情。欣赏。
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~
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野航
秀才


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 547
Location: toronto
野航Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 09:15:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
晚酝霞云艳处
新弄炊烟如雾

好句子。
_________________
回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 17:13:21    Post subject: Reply with quote
暗香如沁 wrote:
呵呵．好才情。欣赏。
谢谢JJ关注和点评！
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-02 17:14:21    Post subject: Reply with quote
野航 wrote:
晚酝霞云艳处
新弄炊烟如雾

好句子。
谢谢关注！
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