莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 19:08:58 Post subject: 和白水《如梦令 古渡》 |
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晚酝霞云艳处,
新弄炊烟如雾。
雅兴醉华年,
谁忆初临南浦,
轻步,
轻步,
怕搅诗魂细诉。
格式如下
⊙●⊙○⊙▲,
⊙●⊙○⊙▲。
⊙●●○○,
⊙●⊙○⊙▲,
○▲,
○▲,
⊙●⊙○⊙▲。 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 19:31:59 Post subject: |
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临屏草和, MM见笑
回首离别旧处
泪眼难遮咸雾
莹雪舞双蝶
古韵又添新谱?
停步,停步
且莫伤情再诉 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 19:39:39 Post subject: |
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结句真妙,把"搅"字和"细"字两个词用活了. |
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莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 23:24:17 Post subject: |
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白水 Moonlight wrote: |
临屏草和, MM见笑
回首离别旧处
泪眼难遮咸雾
莹雪舞双蝶
古韵又添新谱?
停步,停步
且莫伤情再诉 |
嘻嘻,GG好快呀! 莹雪要努力了 回和一首
晚照金光秀处,
别泪迷蒙似雾。
白水绕村前,
渔钓赋歌旧谱,
留步,
留步,
他日书文重诉。 |
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暗香如沁 秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Posts: 885 Location: 北京 暗香如沁Collection |
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野航 秀才
Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 547 Location: toronto 野航Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 09:15:20 Post subject: |
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晚酝霞云艳处
新弄炊烟如雾
好句子。 _________________ 回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统 |
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莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 17:13:21 Post subject: |
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谢谢JJ关注和点评! |
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莹雪 进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 2520 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都 莹雪Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 17:14:21 Post subject: |
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野航 wrote: |
晚酝霞云艳处
新弄炊烟如雾
好句子。 |
谢谢关注! |
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