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七律 次韻遣懐五首之三
聽雲館主
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Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 361
Location: Canada
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PostPosted: 2007-07-24 23:03:25    Post subject: 七律 次韻遣懐五首之三 Reply with quote
七律 次韻遣懐五首之三

多君垂顧詰來由，何意殊方久滯留？
始信三椽容抱膝，終聞尺土足埋愁。
皓然星月魚龍夜，如拭風光海嶽秋。
心緒萬千渾不語，觀潮起落立橋頭。
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壇前易解拈花意 席上難逢顧曲心
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暗香如沁
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-08-01 23:50:41    Post subject: Reply with quote
心緒萬千渾不語，觀潮起落立橋頭＿＿＿喜欢。
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-08-02 11:27:49    Post subject: Reply with quote
老师的诗歌总是透着厚重, 大气.
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戴玨
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PostPosted: 2007-08-02 14:16:54    Post subject: Reply with quote
暗香如沁 wrote:
心緒萬千渾不語，觀潮起落立橋頭＿＿＿喜欢。

我倒覺得心緒萬千太露且不必要，渾不語加後面的對句已經可以暗示出這點，改為其他內容可能更好。
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PostPosted: 2007-08-08 19:30:28    Post subject: Reply with quote
多謝諸位詞長賜評！見笑了，胡亂寫寫！
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