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一把眉刀((一把眉刀引发的血案)
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 00:01:51    Post subject: 一把眉刀((一把眉刀引发的血案) Reply with quote

一把眉刀

文/半溪明月

锋利眉刀
缓缓
举起
纤细的手指颤抖不停
像巨大的谎言,整个浴室
被镜前灯惨白照亮

女人隐在时间之外
打探爱情的走失
不让她木木的妆容出现
我不忍看她的锁形萧立

一地的鸡毛
一缕缕落发
诗到这里已无力回头

暂时缠裹割伤的手腕
修了一半的眉毛
缓缓转身
镜中的回音惊声尖叫
2007-7-21
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 00:41:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

读了此诗,今天变得不会欣赏诗了。
然而诗到这里已无力回头
感觉自己的浅薄,自己的苍白。
呵呵,也问好明月。
_________________
每个诗人都很重要
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 05:59:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

伤城 wrote:
读了此诗,今天变得不会欣赏诗了。
然而诗到这里已无力回头
感觉自己的浅薄,自己的苍白。
呵呵,也问好明月。


""]读了此诗,今天变得不会欣赏诗了。"这是说不出好坏的诗歌?呵呵,也问好伤城 Very Happy
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 14:10:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

此诗如一朵风中的梅花,绽放惊心而疼痛的爱
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 20:52:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

场景没住压感情,反而留在外面,显得场景太多一些。。。


问好姐姐
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 05:01:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

结尾有韵味~~喜欢!
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踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 15:55:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

月亮, 这是首很动情的诗. 感觉再稍朦胧些会更有美感. 己见, 不妥见谅 Embarassed
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