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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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刘浩1972
童生

Joined: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 18

刘浩1972Collection

Posted: 2007-06-29 15:34:07 Post subject: 原创

一.．尾巴一个人在昏暗的胡同里紧紧抓住一条想要挣脱的尾巴在说不而那个人最后只抓到了尾巴的脱壳物在风中哭二.．最后的火光就在火柴即将燃烬的时候就在灯还没有被点燃的时候我的手指被最后的火光狠狠地咬了一口黑暗又四面涌来三.．暮雪暮色乌鸦紧蹙的眉头不堪重负一场瑞雪就折断冬日的落脚点

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-06-29 15:35:44 Post subject:

断点的感觉 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-06-29 17:08:53 Post subject:

立意不错，文字不够惊艳（借人语） _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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