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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

热

blackhorse
童生

Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 17

blackhorseCollection

Posted: 2007-06-24 19:40:55 Post subject: 热

热毒辣的太阳将她更为毒辣的光芒投射在正午的马路上。一个蓬头的孩子手里拿着一根刚买的冰棍唏嘘地大口咬着，却无法敛住那冰水滴答；戴遮阳帽的女人高声叫卖卷饼，那声音比卷饼干巴，让人丧失了所有的欲望；一个绅士拉着情人走进饭店，还没等啤酒瓶盖开启，嘴巴已经张得好大；摩托车的红色引燃了沥青路面；呼呼作响的旱风把烦躁刮进美少女的衬裙。下一场透雨吧！田野里，一个老农在呐喊。他喑哑的喉咙里喷出的热浪，将一棵还在挣扎的禾苗，彻底推向了绝望。 _________________ 讨厌无病呻吟

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-06-25 00:28:55 Post subject:

过于追求情节化的诗！缺少内在的意蕴！但诗歌整体完整，情感，真挚，这是写诗者所必须的。 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

blackhorse
童生

Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 17

blackhorseCollection

Posted: 2007-06-25 05:30:25 Post subject:

谢谢杨老师 _________________ 讨厌无病呻吟

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
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