Maple Review :: View topic - 飞翔（2007.6.6）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

飞翔（2007.6.6）

贝多芬
童生

Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 94
Location: 中国上海
贝多芬Collection

Posted: 2007-06-08 19:33:02 Post subject: 飞翔（2007.6.6）

飞翔（2007.6.6）＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝多少忧伤可以耗尽我的眼泪多少眼泪可以把天空清洗干净放下翅膀告别天堂最后的飞翔不需要你的目光我的歌声掠过六月的海我的欲望停留在诞生的地方六月的歌声只是我全部歌声的一个音符六月的欲望只是我全部欲望的一次重生今夜，我的忧伤为谁飞翔＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝ _________________ 我是一片沉睡的海渴望苏醒的日子不会到来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1259454194

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-06-08 19:54:28 Post subject:

料削，但有些淡薄 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-06-08 20:40:57 Post subject:

语言精练，富有音乐美。作歌词不错，做诗歌味淡了一点。 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

贝多芬
童生

Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 94
Location: 中国上海
贝多芬Collection

Posted: 2007-06-13 18:26:50 Post subject:

修改稿 _________________ 我是一片沉睡的海渴望苏醒的日子不会到来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1259454194

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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