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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-02 02:15:29    Post subject: 远 Reply with quote

夜色涌过来
没有带一丝风
染的
到处都是
窒息住光

夜色升起来
和天一样高
宽的象海
每一朵溅起的碎片
都是黑色

夜色睡过去
人们也睡了
时间泡在夜里
把回忆泡的
很软
很软

回忆的那边
梦向东去
人向西

觉着你远
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-06-02 05:03:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

每一朵溅起的碎片
都是黑色

空旷感
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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桔子
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Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-03 13:58:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

嗯,语言洗炼,意蕴深深.
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-04 14:00:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

夜色睡过去
人们也睡了
时间泡在夜里
把回忆泡的
很软
很软

回忆的那边
梦向东去
人向西

觉着你远

找到了感觉。语言处理的也好!顶一次。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-04 22:13:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

真的很远~~
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踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-04 22:22:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言与情感的统一,不错!问候诗人!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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