Maple Review :: View topic - 回家的路上

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

回家的路上

阿依琼裙
秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2007-04-28 19:55:11 Post subject: 回家的路上

回家的路上现在，我走在街上街头的阳光橱窗反光的影子不知所措的时间在手中溜走鞋子套在脚上逃避一般的匆忙人潮中我仿佛不是我时装招摇而过那个街头的孩子长跪,祈求不忍的心痛让硬币停留一幕幕上演的舞台剧有人辩论真假就这样,我还是要走在街上穿过街道掠过广告牌醒目的美女潦草的减价风暴和形形色色的鞋子一起回家 _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-04-28 20:12:59 Post subject:

不忍的心痛让硬币停留一幕幕上演的舞台剧有人辩论真假悲剧喜剧我们都是过客 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

许蔚
童生

Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection

Posted: 2007-04-28 20:19:54 Post subject:

不要“仿佛”或许感觉会更好一点呢？

阿依琼裙
秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 04:28:28 Post subject:

谢点评~~ _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 05:26:46 Post subject:

和形形色色的鞋子一起回家这句好！！！问候小米！！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

杨光
秀才

Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 683

杨光Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 08:27:03 Post subject:

和形形色色的鞋子一起回家回家吧,把自己和孩子领回家 _________________ 杨光的语言空间 http://blog.sina.com.cn/languagespace

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 12:48:04 Post subject: 问好

都市中的各阶层人民的生活和境遇总有巨大的反差。在行进的过程中，大多都会停一下脚步关注路边的落难者。但还得继续前进。诗歌有个人特色。亦有人文关怀。为什么把头相（像）换了。 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 20:49:46 Post subject:

心疼你了！ _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
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