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平行之间
花语
童生


Joined: 18 Mar 2014
Posts: 10
Location: 河南安阳
花语Collection
PostPosted: 2014-04-22 03:20:55    Post subject: 平行之间 Reply with quote

你是一点 我是一点
各分布在各的边
我坐着
你站着
一边是3路公交车
一边是61路公交车

这两条笔直的平行线
之间是空白
偶尔有我眼角的余光里
滤出的几条射线
投向你

幸好这辆车上所有的人
除了我自己
没有其他人
发现 你的笑脸
_________________
花语 河南省安阳市人,党员。中国诗赋学会会员、中国诗赋网编辑、中国辞赋网驻站作家、中国网络诗歌签约诗人、中国作家交流协会会员、安阳市作家协会会员。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2014-05-01 22:01:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

生活的感觉,可以再深一点。
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2014-05-04 00:28:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

幸好这辆车上所有的人
除了我自己
没有其他人
发现 你的笑脸

——写的真好!提上来学习!!
_________________
诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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