Maple Review :: View topic - 扣下你半生的光阴

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

扣下你半生的光阴

姚阳辉
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Joined: 04 Apr 2013
Posts: 139
Location: 中国陕西
姚阳辉Collection

Posted: 2014-05-02 03:33:39 Post subject: 扣下你半生的光阴

当你走进我的梦乡我会突然关上门用一把锁扣下你半生的光阴不必惊慌你既不是战俘，也不是囚徒你是我最软的那根肋骨我会时刻陪伴你天上地下，天南海北我们手拉着手游遍天下所有的风景说遍世上所有的情话不问秦汉魏晋不论唐宋元明清不必在意残酷的现实只在甜蜜的梦乡里醉生梦死

沙漠
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Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection

Posted: 2014-05-02 15:27:07 Post subject:

当你走进我的梦乡我会突然关上门用一把锁扣下你半生的光阴开局很好，“门”“锁”这样的具象用得妙 “肋骨"之典也用得自然。后面显得宽泛，抽象 _________________ 个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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