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七绝三首
曹新功
童生


Joined: 20 Dec 2013
Posts: 2
Location: 中华人民共和国
曹新功Collection
PostPosted: 2014-03-24 03:54:34    Post subject: 七绝三首 Reply with quote

秋思
秋雨秋风秋夜长,秋思无计到潇湘。
纵然秋水羞明月,也教离人枉断肠。

乡村五月
无边麦浪漾清波,五月乡间故事多:
墙角母鸡护子切,白鹅水上戏红荷。

燕子楼
无限相思伴水流,柳枝袅袅尽垂头。
痴情还有庭前树,落暮又来燕子楼。
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2014-03-24 06:54:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

乡野风情,明白晓畅,大有竹枝词韵味。欣赏!
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喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection
PostPosted: 2014-03-24 15:52:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

新颖田园诗
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晓松
举人


Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection
PostPosted: 2014-03-26 19:04:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

新功朋友的诗,语句流畅,挥洒自如。不过从格调上,我更喜欢第二首。其余两首,愁啊,思啊,断肠啊,已经被古人写的太多太滥,现代人除非另出新意,否则会落入窠臼。另外,“护子切”是否可再斟酌?母鸡只有在遇到险情,才会急切护子,看诗的前后,平安无事。
以上不揣冒昧,意见也不成熟,仅供参考。问好!
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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection
PostPosted: 2014-03-28 18:58:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

运笔自如,有思有感。

尤喜:墙角母鸡护子切;痴情还有庭前树 —— 这类融情于意象的独特体验和描摹。

问好新朋友!
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Daxia
秀才


Joined: 26 Apr 2013
Posts: 163
Location: Mississauga, Canada
DaxiaCollection
PostPosted: 2014-04-02 13:56:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

曹新功 wrote:
秋思
...

欣赏,学习了。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2014-04-11 22:13:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好朋友!大作读来朗朗上口,学习了。
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