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《超越苦难》
子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-19 21:09:12    Post subject: 《超越苦难》 Reply with quote

《超越苦难》
翻开历史
一段段文字暴露
骨骸 支撑起的苦难
安躺在发黄的尸体表面

小和尚念着佛语
啃完这具尸体后腹痛难当
在远山的背后排出
搁在胃里的
颂一辈子圣经都无法消化
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-19 21:49:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个写的不如前面写的,缺少文字的美感。问好! Smile
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-20 05:10:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

同感!!删了重新写过!!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-20 11:19:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

加油 Very Happy
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-04-20 17:26:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

题目吸引我进来,内容有待改良。不只是文字的美感,思想上应有卓然之处,才配得上这好题目。建议N年后再写。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-20 17:32:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
题目吸引我进来,内容有待改良。不只是文字的美感,思想上应有卓然之处,才配得上这好题目。建议N年后再写。

有道理!!
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