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不能忘却的土地>--外一个
子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-13 19:29:34    Post subject: 不能忘却的土地>--外一个 Reply with quote

《不能忘却的土地》
我看见时间的颜色
滚烫的枯黄 挤上脸
殃及两鬓
唯有掌犁的双手 依旧
光滑 透着黄牛的气味
以及泥土的芬芳 我的家园
儿时全部的记忆 开满野花
我像只自由的小鸟
在父亲耕种的土地旁跳跃
傍晚时分
一头犁耙一头我 牛绳系在父亲的左手
右手摁住我的那头沉重
我分明看到 厚实的老茧在天空下闪亮
像一片稻田结满了金黄的谷子
我曾对父亲说过 我爱
这片土地
这金灿灿的稻子
而父亲却叫我
忘记它们

《蛙声》
像蛛丝
我的情感从后山的一株老树
牵到了广州 系在三楼的走廊
夜晚的几许蛙声累弯了这细小的琴弦
一个早晨 像挂满的露珠
折射出无数个太阳的光辉
光辉下棕色的皮肤 犁耙梳理过的纹理
一代农民的印记 深深地烙在心里
我应如何去把他们纪忆
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-13 19:54:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

很真实!
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-14 18:55:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

像蛛丝
我的情感从后山的一株老树
牵到了广州 系在三楼的走廊 ..................形象.
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-15 05:17:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

怜悯、感恩、关怀!不错的诗,语言和意象也很好,闪光句子多。只是感觉太快了一些,好像一下子把想的都说出来了,如果拉开一些,感觉就会更好了。问好诗人!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-18 21:53:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢各位阅读!!学习中多批评!
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