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非马双语短诗鉴赏--月出
非马
秀才


Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
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PostPosted: 2013-09-16 09:29:21    Post subject: 非马双语短诗鉴赏--月出 Reply with quote

月出

非马



笑盈盈

迎向

从面红耳赤的

白昼

仓皇逃出的





MOONRISE

William Marr



always greets me

with a serene smile

as I flee

from the burned-out day



[鉴赏]

《月出》一出,便令人浮想联翩。

“月出皎兮,佼人僚兮。”这出自《诗经•国风•月出》的诗句,该是中国人颂月的前奏曲吧。

数千年来,写月颂月的名篇佳作,成出,而未穷也。

当代诗人再写《月出》,难度可以想见。

非马先生总能独辟蹊径:

“笑盈盈”,绘出月亮的脸——三个汉字,虽然常见,于此,却令人感到何等新鲜,贻人何等之美感!

“迎向从面红耳赤的白昼仓皇逃出的我”,当然,写月亮的动作——何其耐人品味!

“面红耳赤的白昼”:白昼的红太阳,自然照得人们面红、照得人们耳赤。同时,“面红耳赤”,更令人联想到人们之间的争吵与争论,在这滚滚的红尘。

于是,才有了“仓皇逃出的我”——看来,“我”乃隐士,或欲做隐士。

隐到什么地方去?

——月亮的怀抱。

恒古及今,空中那一轮皎皎的月亮,早已成为中国人思乡怀人的艺术符号。

品味再三,可知此《月出》非彼《月出》:在继承汉诗传统的同时,却有着明显的诗艺创新。古代的文人骚客,断不会写出这样的诗句来;只有在当代社会,才会有“面红耳赤的白昼”,才会产生“仓皇逃出的我”。

处于当下社会的人们的生存窘境,诗人只消19个汉字,便生动地勾勒了出来。

小诗,大作。

非大手笔,则不能为之。

来看英文:

always greets me with a serene smile as I flee from the burned-out day.

没有主语的半句话?

其实,主语,乃诗之标题:MOONRISE.

将诗题当做一个诗行,乃是小诗的常用技巧。

只是:汉诗或许不太显眼,英诗往往更加昭著。

汉语的意合特征,导致了汉诗的隐性;

英语的形合特征,导致了英诗的显性。

另外,serene意为“安详的”、“宁静的”,与人们白天的浮躁形成对比。同时,serene smile的配合,又带来了头韵之效果。

“仓皇逃出”,仅以flee出之,意已足矣。

“面红耳赤的白昼”,对应the burned-out day: 不仅语序后置,措词亦变。其中的动词burn, 令人想到太阳之“燃烧”,副词out, 意指精疲力尽。两者合用,burned-out正可暗示竞争激烈社会中“面红耳赤”的人们。

最后,若以诗行察之,汉诗6行,英诗4行。减行而不减意,亦不减其诗美。

翻译之妙,稍悟得之。



(张智中)

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_8f5bacc701019lpo.html
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
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PostPosted: 2013-11-06 08:41:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习先生,问候先生!
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