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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

荷

阿甑
童生

Joined: 29 Jun 2013
Posts: 10
Location: 中国浙江
阿甑Collection

Posted: 2013-07-02 12:32:20 Post subject: 荷

“出污泥而不染”，这是古人用来赞许荷花高雅、纯洁的品性竟不知荷花心中牵挂的却是在污泥中，深埋的节节莲藕 ——丰腴、洁白、情长、意切这才是，它，给人间的真挚奉献 2012.6.20 _________________ 诗由心生。不为写诗而写诗。

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2013-07-02 13:59:10 Post subject:

构思立意不错，但行文上，需要重新组构 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

阿甑
童生

Joined: 29 Jun 2013
Posts: 10
Location: 中国浙江
阿甑Collection

Posted: 2013-07-02 17:23:17 Post subject:

谢谢赏读！ _________________ 诗由心生。不为写诗而写诗。

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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